Is Beauty really in the eye of the beholder?

Do you believe the word ugly should be used when describing a person? Does an actual ugly person really exist? As in, a majority of people agree that said person is ugly.

I try not too think it but I have very low self esteem. Especially since my ex left me for a much prettier girl. Even though my mom and my friend tell me that I'm pretty; I just don't believe it. If a census was done on determining whether I was pretty or ugly, I think the majority would say that I'm ugly.

My honest opinion just how some people are born pretty others are born ugly. But I'm being told to disagree and that ugly does not exist. What do you guys think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • A nice girl at school told me that "there is no such thing as an ugly woman, only a lazy woman," presumably, all women can be pretty if they work at it. Books, intelligence, fitness, conversation, skills etc etc... it's just like us guys.

    Anyway. I bought into what she said because it made sense to me, I do not know why. BUT then again, she was not a HOT girl, probably a 4/10 in my book... and she kept wearing the same clothes so... maybe 3/10 lol...

    But I think that the statement is sound and it works.

    Ugly or beauty if subjective, and it can encompass MANY MANY things, behavior , physique, prospects, talents etc etc... and ofcourse moral choices in life.

    E.g if a hot girl was beautiful... but she liked to kill children... that to me is ugly. You take my meaning?

    You can always find pretty/ugly things in people if you REALLY scrutinize things or people.

    Hell I can scrutinize right now, and so could anyone else:

    Okay.. girl 1 I know:

    -Pretty face, amazing hair. +1

    -BUT ugly legs like match-sticks and she has scars because she may be a bit freaky (suicidal). -2

    -She talks straight, no bullsh*t + 1

    -She's kinda smart and she likes dirty dancing +1 or -1 depending on how you go.

    Okay girl 2 I have loved:

    -She is very fat (according to most guys). So that's probably -1

    -She can cook. she can bake. +1

    -She can paint, write and sing and is great at the piano +1

    -She has amazing eyes and long hair, and when we she is over me, we are like in a tent with just the 2 of us. +1

    -She is not very educated... like she didn't get into college -1

    Now... I mean those are just some of the traits of beauty or ugly about her. But why did I love her? Because I saw past certain things, or I didn't even SEE the "ugly" sides to her (when most of my guy friends did)

    [I could go on and on but I think you get the idea]

    Now you can also do this for yourself... and this affects your self imagery and confidence and is important. You must learn to accept yourself and work at making yourself "not ugly."

    -I am not "hot," right now because I am overweight, can't exercise because I have several injuries from the army and am doing physiotherapy. So that's a -1. HOWEVER, I have the potential to be "hot" again in future. So that's good... even though I am "not hot," you gotta think of things in positive ways.

    -I do have a great face at least +1; proper teeth, good complexion and warm eyes.

    -I did do college, I am pretty smart etc +1.

    Self-Scrutiny what makes me ugly:

    -I do have an inferiority complex at times -1

    -I do have a problem with anger and I do escalate things (to the point sometimes I want to kill people who vex me) -1

    -> however, I know this and I try to walk away

    -I don't like religion/christians -1 (at least for some ppl)

    -I can be very extremely emotional at times from previous PSTD -1

    So I think you are right, ugly does not exist yet it does because it is a social construction.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Don't even think that, I bet you look great but that's not even the point at least not in my eyes of course OK looks can be a factor. but when I want a girl I look inside who they are. Now yes a person can be ugly but not as you think I'm thinking from the inside the prettiest girls can be the worst from the core and that's what I focus on and I feel most should when looking on a relationship.

    All I'm saying is if a guy left you cause he found a better one in his eyes its his loss. You might not be someones likikng but you'll be to others, I don't know you but I feel your a great girl and there's somebody out there for you ... well not this guy, but he'll come the world is full of this kinds of problems belive me your not alone don't think that. and in the end everybody finds sOmeone.

    Just try thinking positive, its not the end of the world. I know I might sound cheesy :D but I know what your going through I asked out girls and they said they'd sooner go out with the hunchback of notre dame then me.

    Im 20 I never had a girlfriend but had lots of rejections, lifes hard and I had bad ideas which thankfully I did not go threw with I personally am waiting for the one that's going to be worth to put up a fight for cause now looking back those girls weren't really the one I want.

    And this isn't your guy. The guy who likes you will tell you straight up belive me you'll know. He'd never ever hurt you and would give you anything that's within his power. This might sound cheesy to you but these guys exist. I myself am just waiting for the girl who I feel am willing to do all this for. Your guy will come, until then chin up and don't let ANYONE bring you down :D

  • Again and again the same questions, how brainless.


What Girls Said 3

  • I think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder because beauty and ugliness are not constant. Fashions change. Cultures change. 200 years ago, it was stylish to be plump and white. Now everyone wants to be tan and thin. In the eighties, hair was curly and frizzy. Now it's sleek and straight.

    So I don't think anyone is "born ugly", really. They may have been considered nice looking if they'd been born in another era or another place.

  • I never call anyone ugly...unless I'm specifically responding to their personality and behavior. The majority of people thinking someone is ugly? That means nothing.It just means that that individual does not align with anothers taste. Meanwhile that person who is supposedly "ugly",being seen by someone else may be deemed as beautiful. There are people who think Halle Berry is unattractive,George clooney,Brad Pitt,Sienna Miller etc.The point is beauty is subjective. I hope that you lean to love yourself and understand that beauty is not just the external but it is so much more.Ive been called ugly before because I look...unique. But...I realized that whomever said that doesn't comprehend that we are not this skin,and that we are all works of art.Ive been called beautiful by you see?It doesn't even matter. Ugly doesn't exist.I hope you find yourself and see your own beauty.

  • sometimes you just have to realize that inner beauty is greater than outer beauty.

    how long is a bitch's look going to last? till she's old and wrinkly? I doubt it.

    guys who choose only based on looks are looking for a trophy girl on their arm to show off, they don't care about what is inside.

    i have been told I'm ugly or I'm pretty. lately have had more people ask me out. you just have to love yourself and others will love you . doesn't matter. just be yourself.

    i wear make up lightly, I always shower before work. I have my hair neat and tidy etc. I try my best to be pretty. I am not the most beautiful but I love myself, that's what matters to me anyways.


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