To my friends etc I act all confident and stuff, but to guys I do act confident but its different, secretly I'm like "am I the best" etc :/
Like with my ex boyfriend and my current friends with benefits when I heard him compliment another girl or when my friends with benefits says he fancies some1 and thinks they are gorgeous, my automatic reaction is to ask "well, I'm gorgeous too yeah?" like I need confirmation of how good I look or something, whenever this happens I get into arguments with them and then my friends with benefits is like "stop putting words in my mouth"
how can I stop myself from being like this?
Most Helpful Girl
Because you want to keep your, how I like to word it, "magic."
What I mean by magic is that a world can only be created when two people acknowledges its existence. For you, you want your beauty to keep occurring in reality, in case someone tries to deny it or neglect you all over again. It's scary to go back to the time that you once had no attention, but your insecurity is relying too heavily on beauty. Why it seems so fragile is that you gained attraction by beauty, but beauty might easily fade away too as how it just abruptly interrupted your way of social life.
Be better than that acknowledgment. Those who are confident are steadfast in their beliefs even if people are against them. Sure they may waiver if everyone or people they are close to are against it, but they either very strong or ignorant if they keep their belief still. If they stopped, well they never really believed in their own "magic" after all then, did they? *cackle*cackle*cackle*
As an example to my childhood dream of helping people, "I will still try to save everyone, even if I know that I will fail in the end."
For you, have a little quick encouraging chant of "I am still beautiful, whether my hair falls out, my vision is gone, and I lose my voice to defend myself. Someone will always try to deny my beauty but what exists will still exist."