Is thinking that you're beautiful the same as being beautiful?

My friend is drop dead gorgeous, she used to be a model.

I'm attractive and I felt attractive, until I went out with her.

She made me feel invisible, the way people smiled and looked at her was totally different from the way they looked at me. If they even noticed I was there.

My self esteem took a major blow, it's going to take some time to recover.

Is it the same? Confidence and physical beauty? Or will beautiful people always overshadow the average?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Confidence and physical beauty are not the same thing. If you're confident, you're secure in who you are and you're okay with satisfying yourself first. Of course it helps to have something to be confident in, but it sounds like you have that covered - you know you're attractive.

    You'd be surprised by how incredibly insecure beautiful people can be -- they define themselves by their looks, and it's how other people define them. They spend an insane amount of time primping and styling themselves so they'll continue to look like the model they used to be, and will crumble when deprived of the attention they crave so much.

    Think about the benefits of being as attractive as you say she is. People look at her. She gets more attention than others, but that attention doesn't necessarily bring with it any tangible reward. It can even be a detriment to her, as her looks can intimidate guys - they'll convince themselves that she's TOO attractive, too good for them. Laughable, but a common thought nonetheless. I've often heard beautiful women say that they wish more 'average' guys would talk to them, and they often claim that they have LESS success in dating than other women. So many people think so highly of them and so little of themselves that they just end up with jerks.

    Simply put, don't compare yourself to her; too many people are already doing that, and *nobody* benefits from it.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Just step up your game. We guys have to deal with it all the time. Most of us babe are not model handsome material. Confidence is all you need. Stand up straight. When talking, talk to be heard. Positive dominance. These are some simple (ok, easier said then done...but) things to think about when going into the public. Men want the real you. At first glance YES we do look at the "pretty" girls, but we TRULY want someone intellectual and bright.

  • definitely, confidence is a major part of feeling like you are


What Girls Said 1

  • This is going to sound bad but beautiful people will always overshadow the average...AT FIRST... but once they start spending more time and observing they might get turned off by her for whatever reason OR find you sexier then her because of the way you carry yourself for example, etc. Either way, BE CONFIDENT. Just act like you own it. Go out not to get picked up by guys or get attention, but go out to have fun and you'll see... when you stop caring guys will be all over you.

    I want to add that not all men will find her more beautiful than you. I have a friend who is also drop dead gorgeous and men hit on us I'd say pretty much equally, no lie.