Are men more emotional than they let on?

By emotional, I mean sensitive, easily hurt, romantic, insecure…

This man tried to get physical with me, in a gentle, nervous way. When I pulled away and told him it wasn’t what I had in mind, he stopped and appeared OK throughout the rest of our date (our first one). I didn’t hear from him since then and thought he was only after sex, and when he didn’t get it, his true colors came to surface. I was disappointed for I really liked him, but had to move on. Today (two month later), he wrote me saying I was great person…..and that he was under the impression I wanted a close relationship with him…

I’m shocked and confused! What did his sexual advancement towards me have to do with him thinking I wanted a relationship? Did he actually feel rejected, hurt when I didn’t put out? Maybe he’s not a jerk as I thought. I’m not sure what to make of this…

Can someone try to analyze what exactly happened here, or what his motives are for reaching out to me now?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, I agree with the first male answerer.

    If I liked a girl and attempted to cuddle or put my arm around her and was rejected, that would definitely make me feel insecure and self-conscious.

    Yes, guys are much more insecure than we usually let on. We often wonder if we're f***ing things up and if you're having a good time (with us).

    If the guy you're talking about did something like try to finger you and say, "Come on, I thought you liked me"...then he's a f***ing idiot and a creep.

    • This guy is right on the money, particularly with the last two paragraphs.

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    • I heard when a man's hurt or feel rejected, he walks away and never returns. So, why do you think he's suddenly back? I also don't understand what he meant by me wanting a "close relationship". He may sound weird, but he's actually a decent guy (I knew him before we started going out). I'm just trying to make sense of his behavior and everything...

    • Maybe he tried to walk away, but can't stop thinking about you and wants a second chance, he wants to correct his mistake.

      Talking about a close relationship, maybe he had thought you would contact him, like "the ball is in your court, your move" and he figured you weren't interested in him or a relationship with him.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Can you describe how he "tried to get physical" with you? Because if it was something like putting his arm behind your back in order to cuddle or something really innocent like that, and that's what you responded with, then I would probably be similarly hurt, too.

    • But to answer the main point of your question: Yes. Men are more emotional than they let on.

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    • Back to your answer to my main question. So, is it fair to say that behind men's silence, I-don't-care attitude, and stoic faces is fear, hurt, insecurity, and all sort of emotions..?

    • Not all the time, and not all at once, but yes. Sometimes, guys just genuinely don't give a damn. Other times, it's a facade to protect themselves from vulnerability. There's a reason why women live longer than men, and I'm guessing that this is in the top 5 as to why this is.

  • To answer your question simply, its yes.

    In your case, It's an image thing that's all. He doesn't what you to be thinking he some slime ball so he'll trying to apologize for what he thinks seemed like dirty behavior to you. He made a move, got rejected, now he's trying to pick up the pieces and apologize for making the wrong move.

  • Of course guys are emotional. We're human too... Any guy who is trying to play the "manly, tough guy" role is likely way more insecure than he appears.

  • I AM emotional and I DO let on...(:


What Girls Said 2

  • my boyfriend lets on. men are FAR more emotional than women lol. women are known to move on far while guys harp longer

    • lol Uh what. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

      How many times are there instances when women constantly bitch about sh*t from years past that is so irrelavent that it borders on being iridiclous.

  • Guys are more sensitive definitely! But I think its a good thing, its nice to see a guys sensitive side for once :)

    • You ever watch the show Friends? You ever see when Bruce Willis keeps crying to Jennifer Aniston's character? Exactly... lol

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    • Ah, you should check it out. It's when Rachel tries to have him open up more because he's too reserved. And when he opens up...there's no stopping him...f***, I miss that show.

    • They should bring out a 'Friends' movie!

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