Looks > Personality!

After numerous rejections (20+) I figured out why I have never had a girlfriends or why I can't go on dates with girls, it's all about looks. No wonder all my friends never have to initiate every single contact when talking. No wonder their texts/calls get insta replied/or answered. No wonder they are never shot down immediately, one of my friends has zero confidence, is poor, has no personality what so ever, treats girls like sh**, but is swimming in more pu^^^^ than he can imagine. unbelievable.

Looks>Personality done!

Still don't believe me:

i made a fake profile of a handsome guy on plentyofifsh, okcupid, and face the jury. I specifically put I HAD NO JOB AND NO CAR. good looking firls WERE STILL READY TO MEET ME FOR CASUAL SEX. Even the girls who put "i want a relationship" in their profile showed no resistance for the one night stand. I got over 120 messages in 3 days WITHOUT INITIATING CONTACT. Why do people saying its about personality.. I mean seriously? WHAT THE F^^^ IS GAME... when all you can do is change your profile photo... and badabing badaboom you see what f^^^^ game is. LOOOKS!

If you don't have looks you have to do SO MUCH MORE and go above and beyond where as if you are born with looks you don't have to do any of that s^^^


All the girls sayin looks don't matter date above average guys so your argument is irrelevant.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds to me like he's a really good guy. Being there for your daughter is more than most guys are willing to do. If anything, I think because he cares for you, he cares for your daughter too and would definitely look down on any man who doesn't take care of his kids.

    However, just because he's been there emotionally and perhaps financially, doesn't mean he's willing to take on the task of being a full-time father. I think he understands the level of responsibility this is and would prefer to be ready for it on his own time. After all, he didn't go out and have one on his own.

    I believe if you do get him a "father's day" gift, it would scare the crap out of him...especially after that "I'm not ready to be REAL father" comment. It doesn't get any clearer than that. Unless he has explicitly said he wants to be her father, getting him a father's day gift would be awkward, even if he doesn't initially show it.

    I suggest if you want to show him how much you appreciate him, keep it simple. Nothing that screams DAAAADDDDDYYY! Try a card saying we appreciate you, love you or just do something special for the day. Whatever you do, don't call it a father's day gift!

    I do believe he loves you guys, but Don't push it, or he'll probably push back. Let things unfold. When and if he's ever ready, he will make it as official as he needs to so there's no confusion.

    • What? Are you high?

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    • No, I am not high. As you can see, I was able to formulate perfectly sound questions. Context clues! ellisaur figured it out.

    • I knew what happened. Sarcasm is hard to detect on the Internet especially with some of these e-warriors below.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 16

  • It's not ALL about looks (for relationships) but think about it logically... If you had the choice between two girls, "Sally" who you're barely attracted to but has a really good personality or "Amy" who has just as good a personality as Sally but you find her more attractive, who would you pick? But apparently you're not even really talking about relationships...

    "I specifically put I HAD NO JOB AND NO CAR. good looking firls WERE STILL READY TO MEET ME FOR CASUAL." The key words there are "casual sex", if it's only about sex then all that matters is the level of attraction. So of course looks are ALL that matters there.

    Personality is important for relationships but not for sex, sex is purely physical. Notice how you didn't mention any women looking to get into a relationship with you from that page? That's because the listed personality wasn't appealing for a relationship. If you want your personality to be important then you should look for relationships, not casual hook ups.

    • tldr: you're basing your argument on the wrong scenario

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    • most people don't bother with seeing if their attracted to them on the next level.

    • And considering the way you're talking to people in this question, have you ever stopped to think that maybe your personality isn't attractive either? OPEN YOUR EYES and stop bitching that you've been given a raw deal. Be more confident and positive and maybe you'll find yourself attracting more people.

  • Yes sir! You are absolutely correct. That is also precisely why so many people won't ever find true love and success and long-term relationships. They say they want one thing, but their actions do something else completely. Its absolute b.s. and yes, beautiful people have it easy, but they're just as miserable as everyone else.

    I have an ex-best friend who would snap necks when she enters a room. She's 35, has two kids, and is still single without any real prospects. She's completely hung up on the idea of the perfect man, his looks... how deep his pockets are... The sad thing is, she'll date any tom d*** and harry that will pay her bills.

    Yes, being attracted to someone is necessary, but when the looks fade, there's gotta be something else to hold sh*t together. If you're short or ugly, you've just got to make sure you make 3x the money everyone else does. It's a dog eat dog world.

  • Looks are important because you have to be attracted to a person for any kind of relationship to start. To keep that relationship you need to have the personality to follow. Usually free dating sites are used for hookups, so you have to be careful about which girls you're talking to, because there really are ones who do want a relationship and not a hookup. It also depends on the type of girl you're going after, because certain types of girls will generally behave the same in certain situations, such as wanting to hookup with super hot guys. This is also a maturity issue too, so be careful of that. The most important thing for you to do is not let this get you down, because once you become bitter you eliminate any chance for any girl. Keep your head up!

    • I can agree with that.

    • Your first sentence is the only answer that has made sense. You are the only

      One who understands a concept so basic, in this day at my age if a girl is t attracted to you, that's it, no matter how much of a good personality you have nothIng will change her attractiveness towards you.

    • Thank you, it really isn't a hard concept at all

  • And you're realising this just now?

    It's pretty obvious that, in order to have a relationship with someone (sexual or more) you must be attracted to them.

    I wouldn't say that looks matter more, but it's more like looks matter FIRST. It's the little test that either takes you to the second round or the friendzone. If one only cares about looks, I guess the game ends there, but for most people, personality is a deal breaker just as much as looks are. You just don't get to play that part.

    • "but it's more like looks matter FIRST"

      exactly if a girl doesn't like my looks, personality means sh*t because you have no chance.

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    • "exactly if a girl doesn't like my looks, personality means sh*t because you have no chance."

      Yes that's true. However, if a girl DOES like your looks then that's when your personality comes into play and it also usually gets inspected more critically than looks do. Also, there are the occasions when someone who maybe didn't find you attractive at first glance but as they get to know you they find your personality so attractive that your looks then BECOME attractive to them. Would you still

    • say personality means sh*t then? I think not.

  • I say looks takes a big part, but don't get me wrong personality is a BIGGY for a relationship to last.

    Now for looks... If you guys always had a booger hanging out of his nose I would be thoroughly disgusted ha ha I'm sorry but that's not.. a lovely thing.

    So what I say... If you want to date someone you have to be just as good as them or better. That can seem messed up but it works for me. Sorry if it offends anyone.

    • Proves my points, see people.

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    • I'm not a drooling idiot, and no one I know is like that? You can't compare someone who is socially retarded, is awkward, to someone who just doesn't have looks. -_____-

    • no.. you still haven't answered! ha ha so you do care about looks too. Don't hate.

  • Yea you are right. There are a lot of people out there that just care about looks. But if you want a relationship to last then the personality plays a big part too. You might have sex with a lot of people if you look good but if your personality is horrible you are never gonna have a good relationship. Don't get me wrong looks are important too but not as important as personality and especially not for a relationship.

    And many people are just simpy too 'stupid' to give some people a chance and just care about the looks. I don't like those people at all,

    All my bfs were 'actually' not my type how I would describe it but they still looked amazing to me AND they had a really good personality!

    • "All my bfs were 'actually' not my type how I would describe it but they still looked amazing to me"


    • TBH, I think guys with good looks can get relationships if the deign to stick around in them. A good looking guy getting a relationship is about as difficult as it is for a girl to get laid if she is outgoing.

  • My boyfriend's about a three, maybe 4. I'm a solid 8 &1/2. So yeah, looks aren't important. Maybe you just go after ridiculously shallow girls.

    • Nope not true at all. Does your Boyfriend have money by any chance?

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    • Does he know you consider him a 3?

    • Well yeah. Hahah his personality is a 10. It was difficult when we first started dating, because I wasn't attracted to him. But he lost about 50 lbs and started eating better and he's a lot better looking now. So we just focus on the positive. The only hard thing is my friends are constantly telling me I'm way out of his league. But you can't please evwryone.

  • Nope! Not true at all. I've seen some pretty ugly DADs out there (meaning they got some one way or another)...

    you just have to 1) find someone who shares the same values (if you're religious go with that) 2) meet more matured people who are actually wanting what you want (in this case a relationship).

    For looks obviously you're kind of stuck but there are LOTS of ways to improve it. Unfortunately you have to have some money but it's okay when you are also doing it for yourself...or it raises your self esteem.

    • LOL plastic surgeory is not an option, its just sad that all the girls my age care about is f****ing the hottest guy in the room. =.=

  • Shallow relationships looks>personality

    Deep/serious relationships looks=personality/looks<personality

  • Relationships have to have different levels. Level one is attraction and looks, now if your personality is great chances are it can shine through your looks. Relationships always have attraction its just our nature as humans, you want the best of the best as a mate. :D

    • Looks doesn't make them the best of the best. There are better ones you will never ever get.

    • I'm talking evolutionary speaking you want someone who looks fit and not sick. I'm a christian but you have to admit there are serious biological things we can't change. Personality is what gets the relationship to stay and hold out looks start the relationship.

  • I look for both, although looks < personality.

    Honestly, I wouldn't date a "hot" guy if I couldn't talk to him, or he was a complete d*****, or there were personality traits that completely irritate me.

  • Maybe you should aim for girls more in your league.

    • league is a stupid thing.. I know ugly dudes that are full of themselves and get hot chicks.. the whole term "league" is your confidence level in yourself.

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    • so you disagree with QA?

  • You're young. You're dealing with little girls. Just wait, in a few years you'll look back and think, wow, I had no idea what I was talking about because I haven't lived life that long. When you find a real WOMAN you will see it's not all about looks, but right now you're dealing with little high school teeny bopper girls who are all about looks instead of personality.

    • So be alone for 25+ years? ok

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    • You're a hypocrite, and you want people to feel sorry for you. Seriously, grow up. One day you will find someone who will appreciate you for you. It might not be now now now like you want, but it will happen. You're not a bad looking guy. Just live your life and you will find a girl along the way.

    • Riveting tale chap!

  • Well you partially right. People really focus on looks,c'mon. And don't talk like you don't do it. If you had to choose between 2 girls you would pick the one you;re attracted the most. You tried with a dating site. In order for you to read someone's profile you have to be interested in them physically,you liked their pictures. I'm 100% sure that you wouldn't even bother in reading a girls profile if you thought she was unattractive. So you proving with a dating site doesn't mean the same applies to real life.

    Unlike a dating site in real life you can really see someones personality and be attracted by it. I went out with such a beautiful guy,so damn hot, working on a graduate program,had a job, from a good family. I was like humm so weird a guy like this doesn't have a girlfriend, I know why he was the most boring guy I've gone out with. He so stupid and likes to make comments like " I feel so like a gorilla in a cage when tourist past by my upper east side apartment" (that's the most expensive neighborhood in New YorK City), and comments like this ALL THE F***ING TIME.

    Then I started going out with a really sexy guy whom for some reason I never thought of him that way. I was like damn this guys is amazing, he makes me laugh, he treats great., and I love his personalty.

    My point is in real life girls can see you personalty and see past looks.

    • "I went out with such a beautiful guy,so damn hot,"

      "Then I started going out with a really sexy guy"

      LOL personality had nothing to do with you getting with those guys.

      Looks>Personality is fact.

    • This guys I'm seeing is really good looking but like I said before I wasn't attracted to him, I didn't see him in a romantic way. I could have been like oh I want to get with this guy because he looks nice or whatever,he wasn't my type, he is blond and I normally go for really dark hair. When I started to hang out as friends and get to know him better was when I actually started to see him like more than just friends.

    • Even if she is not attracted to you or sees you in a aromatic way if you a girl that you have an amazing personalty she could get attract to you, like I did to this guy.

      You have to sake off the shyness or whatever you that you're fun to be around and stop with those lame ass excuse about how girls just care about look because that's not f***ing true and the ones that actually JUST care about looks are stupid shallow bitches, and why would you want to be with someone like that.

  • You couldn't have said it better. We live in a very shallow, materialistic society. I used to weigh a lot and when I would go to the clubs/bars NO guy would want to dance with me let alone talk to me. But lo and behold once I lost weight and went to the bars again BAM! I had guys hitting on me left and right. It should have made me feel good but it DIDN'T . These guys wouldn't talk to nee before when I was fat but now because I lost weight and "look good", now all of a sudden I'm worthy of your attention? It's just really sad if you think about how much looks mean to people .

    I wonder how many guys out there would still want to be with their girlfriends if they got fat. Yeah, we'll see how strong your "true love" really is.

    • I took care of my fitness so I didn't have that problem, my problem is girls don't like my looks and that's it.

  • welcome to my life. I'm pretty but fat and that works against me more than anything.

    however, there are lots of fat girls who don't have the problems that I have. and there are ugly dudes who don't have the problems you have. I think looks do work against the less fortunate but it doesn't mean you can't find someone.


What Guys Said 10

  • Dude you're completely right. I'm an attractive guy but my game is not the best honestly. And I've got a friend who is pretty f***ing ugly but can chat up a girl and is very confident in approaching women and initiating things.

    We both go to a dive bar or a club and he will approach 10, 15 women and maybe get lucky if one of them reciprocates and shows interest.

    Most nights I'm too chicken sh*t to approach a girl but I'll stand by the bar and not 5 minutes will pass by without a girl to either the left or right of me initiating the conversation or giving me some long hard stares.

    And I'll even just be walking around the club and a girl will trip on me and act like she's a klutz and use that as a reason for her to talk to me. Or I'll get my ass grabbed , etc etc.

    I guess in those situations and environments looks are almost about everything, but if you're trying to find a quality girl to date I wouldn't worry so much about your looks and would worry more about your personality and your ability to connect with her.

  • there is no dealt your right about girls at that age, from 15-25 are very immature vice versa, and look for all the wrong things in relationship. they want the bad boy with good looks and good in bed. but you can't keep thinking like that because women mature with age and start to look for different things in man when they are older. do you really think all women want is a man with good looks and someone good in bed for the rest of their lives? no.

    i am 30 now, when I was at school and your age I also struggled with girls. never started pulling women until I was in my late 20s. trust me at that the age when pulling the opposite is difficult, and neither sex understand each other.

    at 18 you should be more focusing on getting a good education and developing a career for yourself. when it comes to getting the girls, you don't want too put yourself out there too much with them, because it will make you look desperate. looking for it, never works.

    studies have shown, the two sexes that are both educated is much more likely to get married and have a long relationship. and the uneducated people seem to fail at relationships. sorry my friend, but won't find the girl of your dreams in a club or a flaming dating site. you will find the decent girl/guy at university or in a good job. maybe try and find a girl through social clubs, like rowing and martial arts etc. that's were you will meet the decent partner.

    another thing, the reason there are lot more single people today, then compared back in our parents and grandparents day, is because there is no stigma attached with being single now. back in our parents day, there was a stigma attached to it, if you were still single at 30 and not married, people would think you are weird and frowned upon. there is no such as true love, like young people think there is. it's all bullsh*t, from books, media, celebrities creating it. they hype it all up. today people have to much freedom and choice, this why relationships never last longer than 5 years.

    • and another there is too much generalizing going on the when comes to pulling women or men. not every guy or girl is the same. not every girl like a man with a big wallet, or handsome, or a brad pitt body. if that was the case, there would be a lot more single people out there. girls don't just look for guys with a big wallet, bullsh*t, I know plenty with no job or no money, and their girlfriends are paying everything for them. not all women are shallow. your looking for the tarts.

    • i can tell you, there are so many good women out there. I have seen it on the back of my own eyes. there are girls that are willing to pay their boyfriends debts, get them a job. what it comes down to too? its what type of girls you are looking at? it comes down to you, not the female species. its like buying a car, you can buy a sh*t one, or a decent one. its that simple.

  • I'm pretty sure I've heard girls refer to guys who look just like you as hot.

    Very, very few guys are so hot they can just sit back and wait for p**** to roll in.

    A bunch more look good enough that with some game, they do well.

    Some others need awesome game.

    If you're striking out, its your approach, not your looks.

  • Believe whatever you want bro.

    You are making a lot of assumptions. You assumed girls who wanted something serious, weren't going to go out and have sex with some random guy one time,maybe a few times, but it wouldn't have gone past that. If it did, she'd have to take care of his ass.

    Either way,girls on dating sites usually have issues anyways. They aren't on their because they're confident human beings. They are on there to get laid, and boost their confidence. Women are the equivalent of a bundle of insecurities and emotional insanity.

    See bro, look,

    1) looks help things get rolling.

    That is first stage. Attraction.

    2) This is where they decide whether or not you are boyfriend material or if you're just an easy f***.

    Stage 3.

    Either you get laid in a one night stand or something equivalent or you end up dating.

    • Thats the thing:"looks help things get rolling." If sh(t ain't rolling you are not going anywhere?

    • Not everyone is a model, and not every model is a person worth talking to due to the lack of personality or they're snobbish. People have preferences, as do you. IF the feelings aren't mutual then obviously it isn't going anywhere. If you thought a girl was fugly, you'd more than likely disappear. Shit, I know I would. Some girls would say that towards me, but then again Idrgaf what they think xD. If sh*ts mutual, then sweet. If not, o'well.

  • Son you are not ugly, it's all in your head. Yeah good looking guys have an advantage but that's life. Man up and do good things in your life, beat those guys in other fields. Get your money right, study hard, live the lifestyle, and you'll be more successful with the shorties.

    • too bad girls don't care about if you are smart(check) athlete(check) won't treat them like s***(check)

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    • Well, if I get 30+ there are always prostitutes/escorts/amsterdam.

    • Its LMS Looks money or status. That's all you need, if you don't have any you are f^^^^^^ed

  • nah if personality has any weight, and it does hold a LOT in the longer terms of things, youve clearly demonstrated a bad personality that will surely repel girls. You made up a load of bullsh*t to support your whiny rant and cry that the worlds not fair...

    even good looking guys don't get hit on that directly by girls. Its not their nature to be that forward, so your profile date site thing is obviously a load of crap. Grow up, quit making up lies to make people take your side and then girls will be attracted to you.

  • every female saying it doesn't matter is f***ing delusional and doesn't want the world to know that they are shallow. Or they are a gold digger looking for an easy life.

    I mean, why would a very attractive woman want to date/marry an ugly loser when she KNOWS she can use her looks to either

    A: FInd a gorgeous guy

    B: find a rich guy

    Reason? There isn't one. The beauty and the beast situation you see is one in a million, and it was designed to brainwash guys into thinking its possible, and brainwash women into saying its possible, when in fact it isn't

  • Holy f***ing sh*t, 120 messages in 3 days?

    I was on POF, now I feel like sh*t haha.

  • Shoutout for my man from CALI - Look dude no homo but you ain't lookin bad - maybe you just gotte find the right chick get to know more girls and just wait it out

  • I'm not going to even look at the other replies. All I know is that you speak the truth. People don't realize how much guys who aren't good-looking have to do to make up ground. Problem is, even girls who are average-looking overestimate their looks and think they deserve a hot guy and that pushes you even further down the pole.