Ok once again I'm talking about the same girl in my last 6 posts. The short story to a long list of stories is there is this japanese girl that was acting distant to me.She's thinks she's Asexual but I am not sure she really is. (Asexual has a new meaning now that defines someone with no feelings towards guys or girls.)
She did love guys, she told me she did. I'll explain more of why she doesn't now later.
She didn't think that she was acting distant because she's just happy being by herself. Not like super happy like she loves loneliness, she just feels like "ok I hung out with my friend today and now I get to make music for the next 5 days, I don't have to go anywhere, do anything, Music! YAY!"
Thats how she is, Now the thing is that she also said she's doesn't want to let me get closer like cuddle because she doesn't want to lead me on. She doesn't want me to fall for her. Basically she says she doesn't want love to take up all her life and also she thinks she doesn't deserve love. She doesn't want the physical or emotional parts of love.
The thing is that the whole time we talk though she can't look me in the eyes. Shes constantly messing with something in her hand or pulling at things looking at something. Like we hung out but she was busy and said could you wait 15 mins. So I did, the second she was done she walked over to me sat down and looked off into the distance. And she couldn't stop messing with things, The thing is we didn't talk about anything personal or strange, we talked about music she made.
Every time the conversation was slowing down she'd pick it up again instead of taking that opportunity to leave. She would talk to me, she suggested to go to a restaurant, though she did think she was just dropping me off for a sec and I was gonna walk 10 miles home. Then she realized it but still, after that we talked for 2 more hours about mistakes I made around her that made her feel uncomfortable at times, and then we talked about her asexuality again.
Thats where the whole I want to do things and not just think about love and that she doesn't deserve it came in. Now Remember we talked for two hours, she did most of the talking and had lots of chances to end it earlier. She still couldn't look at me, weather it was about music or about a personal stuff, she just can't look at me but she can talk to me for hours when she has time.
After that long story my question is Why can't she look at me when she talks? We talk for hours, she could have ended it at anytime. She knows I'm easy going and would agree if she suggested the end of the conversation. Why would she talk to me about personal stuff about love and how she doesn't believe she deserves it for hours and yet not look at me for more then a minute? What does that mean? Is she doubting herself? Is she upset about something and can't look at me? What is it?
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IMO, she is either:
1.) Lying to you (and herself) about being "asexual" (The new definition STILL has me laughing !) and is really into you but doesn't want to admit it even TO herself, yet she can't tear herself away from you.
2.) She's not into you but doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
NOTE: You need to watch for body language at this point. Make sure the eye contact and submissive behavior is not just a cultural thing. Waggling eyebrows and winks in some cultures are VERY suggestive and not just a part of being flirtatious.
"...She did love guys, she told me she did. I'll explain more of why she doesn't now later..."
You never explained. Was she ever sexually assaulted/abused ? If so, this is beyond signals. She may be withdrawing because contact reminds her an attack. She'll need counseling.
Good luck, if you really really like her. You're going to have to be really patient, regardless of the scenario.0