Why am I getting so much attention in classes from guys?

I am not trying to brag about anything, and I know it's a stupid question, but I've been noticing how a lot of guys notice me in all my classes (well, not a lot, but a couple).

Why do I get so much attention from people in my college classes?

I don't consider myself to be very attractive, cute maybe at best...

Is it possible that I am getting a lot of attention because of the fact that I may be friendly and approachable looking (as in average looking...) I've been brooding over this phenomenon...it's quite strange-i've always had low self esteem, and it's kind of weird how guys show me attention, either direct or indirectly, because I don't consider myself to be that attractive...maybe they think I'm easy? Or maybe it's just because of the fact that I am Asian, and there aren't a lot of Asian girls at my college?

I never got this much attention from guys in the past (2 or 3 years ago) when I was 10 lbs lighter and was considered more attractive before. then, it seemed like guys (especially around my age ) would just ignore me or avoid me, almost as if I were intimidating to them...

I know how attractiveness is supposed to attract more people to you initially or whatnot, but I've experienced something quite opposite- the more attractive you are, the more unapproachable you seem to the opposite gender, especially to the inexperienced college guys (unless they are douches or have a lot of confidence)...

I'm paranoid that I'm only getting attention from guys (who are mostly not that attractive) because I've gotten "uglier" and less intimidating...

Anybody agree or get anything I've just said?!

My mom raised me to be level-headed and down to earth, she tells me that most young guys (with the exception of really hot guys) approach easy-going looking or unattractive girls...which gets me even more worried, and think less of myself...

I don't feel flattered by any attention I get from any guy these days...it's weird, but it doesn't put me at ease when anybody approaches me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "approach easy-going looking or unattractive girls...which gets me even more worried, and think less of myself..."

    Not true. Well horn dogs will approach easy-going girls sure, but the other part is not true. Guys are more likely to approach girls who are not as attractive as others because they feel like they have a better chance with you. they feel too intimidated by the really attractive girls.

    It does NOT mean you are unattractive, just approachable, maybe even friendly looking. Why not just give one of these guys a chance if they ask you out?

    • exactly my thoughts.

      and does everybody think attractive girls get approached more?

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    • What is a quality guy in your opinion?

    • somebody who takes their education seriously, looks presentable, clean...etc etc.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • Well have you considered that maybe you are being a bit too hard on yourself? Maybe you are attractive? Not all guys like the same things. But what you say is definitely true in that sometimes the really attractive girls get less attention, due to intimidation, or just assuming they would already be taken. What kind of attention are you getting exactly? You should hopefully be able to tell if guys are actually interested in you as a person, or if they just see you as easy.

    • i think they are interested in me as a person, based on the type of conversations...although they make a lot of jokes...like this one dude in my class always shares the most random (sometimes inappropriate pics) pictures on his cellphone with me, I mean WTF is that?

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    • it's clear that most of these guys have some kind of thing for Asian culture, as they always bring it up while we're talking

    • I think you just need to accept it for what it is. Sure maybe they just like Asian culture, or whatever the reason. They are being friendly and you should enjoy their company. There is no reason to assume anything negative about this situation.

  • it's your third button.

    button it and the problem will go away

    • what? no! lol

      i don't even show cleavage, I'm just a really low key girl.

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    • self esteem or not, shyness or not, etc., the only question is whether you are asexual as in not interested in the idea of sex / relationship whatsoever. if you are interested on some level you may be telegraphing it in how you behave, and if you have low self esteem males may read that as you may be esp. open if someone makes the move - which is often the case. Girls with low self esteem would tend to accept lesser males than similar girls with a high self esteem. So, more think they got a shot

    • Sex is great or the idea of it, but if I was actually placed in a situation where it was really going to happen, then I'd probably freak out and get really nervous...im scared of intimacy with guys... I've had this really cute guy flirt with me years ago, I didn't get turned on or anything, I just felt more withdrawn and protective over my feelings... I think I'm love shy or something

  • Well either you're hot, you're dressing skanky, or you have a booger hanging.

    • None of the above... I see a lot of guys my age hanging out with mediocre girls, I probably fit into that category

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    • Also another unrelated Q, why is it that I seem to attract Hispanic and blacks moreso than white guys? Is it because I'm a minority as well and white guys usually go for white girls? And no, I'm not thick in any way or any of that stuff

    • Not sure. Could be the area you're from. And yes a lot of times people go for their same race because it's just what they're used to and more comfortable with sometimes.

  • Hot girls are intimating to men, except men that are douches or are very experienced with good looking women. Unattractive girls get no love, at all. Average looking girls do better though.

  • That's because you probably look like an easy score.

    • an easy score? what makes a girl look like she's an easy score?

      i really don't flirt around or anything, I'm really quiet actually

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    • intimidated? so then you probably look hotter than you realize

    • i don't know if intimidated is the word...maybe I'm overanalyzing the guy.

      i'm definitely not hot, though. I assure you.

  • Because your growing into your looks & becoming a beautiful young woman. Maybe you don't notice it but obviously if the guys are giving you the attention then it's for a reason. You don't see it cause you see yourself constantly & aren't noticing change in yourself, just accept it

    This is true. When I was in PS a lot of the girls I had a crush on as a kid I see now years later & I don't find attractive at all. But the ones that I didn't like much seem to be all gorgeous now. Some I didn't even recognize. Other people have said the same thing so this is probably the same with you.


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think anyone here can give a good answer to your question, because even though you described the situation well, we don't really know how they act and what you look like. Maybe you could post a picture so that we can see if you are average/intimidating/hot/friendly/easy looking or do you really want to stay anonymous?

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