Out of my league?

Hey everyone, I'm new here and just wanted to ask a question to both girls and guys about this girl that I like.

So, I'm in high school, and she's one grade ahead of me. We're both in band together, and I think she's a packaged deal. She's smart, charming, sincere, humorous, cute, and socially adept. She's got a really big network of friends in the drama, vocals, and band department and all the guys that she hangs out with seem like much better candidates for boyfriends than me. Also, I don't even know if she has a boyfriend right now so I'm very scared to ask her out.

Me? I'm not exactly average because I study hard and am very future-oriented. High school isn't a major event, it's just a step that I have to get over to reach my goals in medicine. So, naturally, I don't relish in the experience. I have a small network of friends, and we don't do typical things like party and go to dances.

When I think with my brain, everything tells me that she's too good for me. But when I think with my heart, I just want to hold her and I want her to like who I am.

I guess my question involves several pieces.

How do I know/find out if she has a boyfriend without getting thoroughly embarrassed? (I'm shy, by the way.)

Is she out of my league? Should I just forget about it?

This is kind of inappropriate, but, do you think the fact that I'm Asian and she's Caucasian lower my chances with her even more?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You've got to first become friends with her. Talk with her, laugh, joke, do what teenagers do. When you're both familiar with her, you can drop a comment like, "Your boyfriend wouldn't want to hear that! Hahaha" or something that fits the conversation. Just talk to her like you assume she has one, and then if she calls you on it, then you know the truth.

    It's easy to look at stereotypes and gauge your chances from that, but I've seen some interesting couples before, ones I never thought I'd see together, so even if experience says you have no chance, still put yourself out there, because there is ALWAYS a chance.

    • Good point. But see, it's hard to become friends with her because I hardly see her. When we're in band, she sits in a completely different section and when class is over she usually walks out with her friends or something. And if I just burst in out of nowhere trying to be friends with her, things would look suspicious, no?

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    • Good point..

      Just seems like I'm trying to find excuses to avoid any kind of embarrassment.

      But I still don't know how to approach her. I mean, maybe she'll think I'm weird? Like.. "Hey, this kid's been in band for almost 2 years and now he suddenly wants to talk to me? What a weirdo!" Also, her friends seem like a barrier since it means she'll never be alone and look like she wants some company. In which case I would gladly insert myself, but, yeah.

    • I'm not there so I can't see what's going on, but the best advice I can give you now is to look for an opening and hope for the best. Yeah, she very well might not want to have anything to do with you, but hey, that's life. No pain, no gain. We all make fools of ourselves sometime, I'm sure she has before too.