How can I be more comfortable in my own skin?

Hi:( I'm 16 and I hate the way I look. I'm not overweight or have any severe scaring I just don't like how I was created I can't get myself to have confidence or even love myself. It males me want to kill myself the way I look. I don't wanna be this way anymore. Please help me:'(? I'm having a nervous break down



Most Helpful Guy

  • If I were 16 and around your area, I'd probably at least have flirted with you. You're a beautiful young woman. My old age (of 32) gives me some perspective.

    There was a book (discussing advertising relating to how people perceived themselves based on media influence), and I thought one of the ads had some great writing - and it was kind of true. The ad starts out with a teen boy, standing outside a girl's house, yelling a her name, trying to get her attention. She's upstairs looking in a mirror, I think... The line goes: "She can pick out 12 things she hates about her body. He can't come up with one." And it has a bit of truth to it.

    People do not always perceive you as you perceive yourself.

    Most teens and young adults feel the same way you do. I'm 32, and I'm probably considered as quite homely by a lot of girls; partly because of that, and yes, the media, and yes, so called friends and family, even I haven't gotten rid of all that insecurity.

    Even a lot of old guys feel bad about their looks, and yes, it's getting worse for even us guys.

    Now we have to be good looking, with perfect skin; We have to compete with more choices; Some ways, this can be good, but in others, it's not so good.

    Looking at TV, most "role models" are very good looking. It's often unrealistic, but we try to compete with it because we see so much of it, we all kind of assume it's something we can get. Even "nerdy" characters, who are consdiered goofy looking or antisocial or weird are shacking up with chicks left and right. It isn't real, It may not even be something you want to aspire to when push comes to shove. And we become more messed up because of it.

    You will have times where you will feel crummy. You will feel lonely, or unwanted. That will not go away. I'm sure even Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry sometimes think that there's something really ugly about themselves. I think most of us get that. Sometimes we can be our own harshest critics. So... do what you can to push those thoughts out of your head. Do something with your life that you can be proud of. Get (or keep) your true friends who will love you and who will see your beauty. They matter as much (if not more) than what some shallow person might or might not think.

    I wish you the best.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Dont kill yourself. You are fine how you are but buying new clothers or shoes always helps me. Also working out increases endorphines which will make you feel good about life and will build confidence. Please don't kill yourself

  • You are lovely. You were beautifully and wonderfully made. However you are exchanging the truth for a lie. The truth is "you are lovely", the lie is "you are not." Why would you do that?

    You need to work on the following: "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." It means that you can choose what you think about... you can think about the lie, or you can think about the truth.

    What are you going to do about it?

    • But I can't see the truth your talking about because to me what you call the lie I call the spot on truth:'(!

  • You look fine, stop trippin

    • Well I don't feel fine!

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    • I don't get how me thinking about suicide is funny to you:( and my looks are my insecurity so that's why I care because I don't like the fact that I'm attached to this face and body for the rest of my life.

    • you DON'T have what it takes to take your own life, I've known people who have, sadly... You should thank all of these nice folks on here for wasting their time on your little trip.

      Anyway, if you were really going to go through with it, you wouldn't have bothered to ask what people think about it, you would have done it already. That is why I think you just want the attention. Yes I'm an a**hole, but you deserve it.

      I'm done wasting my time.

  • What in the heck is wrong with you? Answer: Nothing! Why do you not have any confidence in yourself? A lot of guys would bend over backwards for a girl like you and probably 99 percent of them are to intimidated to ask.

    • That's not true. Than why have I never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss yet:'(! It's cause I'm ugly and to tall for guys at a giant 5'11! Guys want short cute girls not ugly walking trees like me.

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    • I just..ugh Fml OK thx for commenting

    • No seriously. You will spend so much time paying attention to yourself that you are gonna miss noticing things around you. Like when guys are checking you out because you are so busy watching and paying attention to yourself. Do this. Pick a day like today, promise yourself you will only pay attention to others no yourself. Do that for a day or two and you will notice things around you that you missed before.

What Girls Said 1

  • You have a choice. Live your life feeling miserable and total sh*t about yourself OR start to love yourself and be good to yourself. There's no way you can ever change your appearance completely. Why bother wasting your tears on something you can't change? I also used to hate myself but then I realized one day how stupid I am. Here I'm sitting hating on myself keeping myself from experiencing life all because I don't like my appearance yet I was made healthy and body is full functioning. I felt like such a stupid person for not even realizing the good that my body has done for me and immediately learned to have respect for myself. I cannot express enough how silly it is to go through life waiting to be different or wishing to be different when in reality you CAN'T. Make the choice now to accept yourself and we are thankfully in a modern age where it is possible to do little things to flatter your appearance. Whether it's waxing your brows, changing your hair color and style to suit you or just buying a new lip gloss. Obviously that won't change you overall but it can give you a little more confidence along the way but the ultimate challenge is being able to stand in front of the mirror without any make-up on and your hair in its natural form and then saying "I love myself" and completely meaning it. You can do this and once you have life gets so much more easier and enjoyable - I promise :)

    • Standing in front of the mirror without makeup? I could never do that. That's insecure and pathetic I am:( fml

    • I felt like that too trust me. But you're sort of missing the point. You choose to feel that way about yourself. You have a choice that only you can take. No one can make you feel any different or make that choice for you . It starts with you and ends with you.

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