Why are unattractive people always told that looks don't matter?

I always get told stupid phrases like 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder', I don't understand what people even mean by this. Its like claiming that people with genuine mental retardation don't need to worry because 'intelligence is in the mind of the possessor'. Its obviously a true statement but it won't help someone with down syndrome get a degree in physics.

Are people just told these empty phrases to prevent suicide and depression? Or do some people actually believe this to be helpful, practical advice? Alternatively, maybe attractive people don't understand exactly how much a disadvantage being unattractive is?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Because if they (attractive people) tell the truth it will hurt many people.They also do not want to sound conceit.You know its hard to be yourself nowadays.It seems like you need to be hypocrite otherwise you will be hated by many people.The truth is everyone want someone who is attractive but they wouldn't admit it because if they did,they will be called as shallow.

    • So in addition to being dealt the sh*t hand genetically, unattractive people have to put up with everyone lying to them to make themselves feel better too?

    • That is true, but it's just because people usually think that telling you that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" or something is a better alternative than telling you that you look ugly or something, because they think that saying that is insulting to you and insulting you can lead you to being provoked and if you are provoked there will be conflict. People on general want to avoid conflict so they "lie to the unattractive people."

    • Not exactly put up.You won't know if they were being honest or not.No one will tell but if someone rejected you at the first place without giving you the chance to show your personality,they yes she probably thinks you are unattractive to her.That's the easiest way to know.

What Guys Said 1

  • Because the whole beauty is in the eye of beholder is actually true. I mean I for one prefer redheaded chicks, but my friend would never date one, because he thinks red hair on women is extremely unattractive and if it's dyed it's fake to boot which is another thing he doesn't like. See that? Two men, friends and yet have a very different sense of beauty in hair color. So beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But what is usually neglected to mention however is that if you are considered generally unattractive, that means there are generally less people who find beauty in you. It's just not an empty phrase and the lesson in it is quite true, but it's by far not perfect statement.

    • Sure women have individual preferences too for things like hair color, eye color, style, hair cut, facial hair, ect. They don't have individual preferences for things like height and bone structure though. If you are short and ugly women won't want you, none of them have a preference for that. Its the same with guys attraction to women I'm sure, I just don't have to deal with the effects of that one personally.

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    • Then surely my point is correct. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' is a completely useless statement. People should just be honest and say 'you're basically f***ed and will only get a woman if you are very lucky or willing to settle for women who are so unattractive they have no other options'. If its not useful why do people say it?

    • Ahh okay, didn't see your second comment until I commented again.