How to cope with being and feeling ugly?

I feel super ugly, I fit "0" of the standards that Americans deem beautiful -----> Curvy, Light Skin, Pretty Eyes, Small Nose & Lips, Long hair!

I have a huge nose

Big Lips

Dark Skin

No Curves

Short Hair

and I'm short

I want to fall inlove and be married one day, but no one I've been into has ever liked me back, guys don't even take a second look at me, I've been rejected by at least 10 guys, I've never had a boyfriend just a FWB, who kept me a secret, how can someone stay positive or feel beautiful when A this crap happens & B they been pretty much told by society they aren't beautiful? Everyday I attempt to be beautiful, BUT I don't think it's working, I can't even look people in the eyes anymore and beautiful girl scare me...I just want to stop caring, and accept that this is who I am any real advice? I've been told the self esteem speech countless times but it really doesn't help.


No makeup

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are incorrect on some of what you think is commonly needed to be beautiful. Dark skin and big lips are not a bad thing. You can grow your hair longer, and most men actually prefer shorter girls. Even having no curves isn't terrible. It is far better than being fat like most Americans are.

    Here is the way most woman think about their body, when the suffer from low self esteem. If they are short, they assume guys like tall girls. If they are tall, they assume guys like short girls. Basically whatever trait a woman has she will assume that a guy likes the opposite.

    You may not be a perfect 10, but there are plenty of guys that would love to go out with you. You will need to have reasonable standards. If you are only going after really good looking guys you need to realize that they have a lot of options and tend to have insanely high standards. I really think this is where you are having your problem.


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What Guys Said 3

  • I like big lips.

    I think quality of skin matters more than color. That's not to say I don't have color preferences. But your skin looks very clear and healthy, which is far more important than the color.

    I can't tell whether you have curves or not.

    It is true that having short hair puts you at a disadvantage. There are many guys who find short hair unattractive, but very few who find long hair unattractive.

    Your height doesn't matter for most guys.

    Ten rejections isn't very many! That's two weeks' worth of rejections for me.

    You have to look on the bright side, which is that guys do find you attractive. But you have to realize that it's almost as difficult for a girl to get a committed relationship as it is for a guy to get sex. Guys and girls just have different priorities.

    I actually think you're on the pretty side of average, which is a good place to be. You're far, far from being ugly.

    Maybe you're just not meeting enough new guys. Maybe you come across as unhappy, which is a turn-off. A guy wants a relationship to be happy.

    Many non-black guys have presumptions and prejudices about black women being 'aggressive'. But I think most guys would be happy to date a black girl who doesn't fit that stereotype.

    I recommend talking to more guys, trying to feel happy, and growing your hair.

    Looks-wise, you really don't have a problem. You're attractive (certainly not ugly), but you're not so attractive that your looks would intimidate guys.

    • You breasts look attractive in size by the way. As I said, looks-wise, nothing to worry about, but please grow you hair out. Even by just doing that you will notice more guys interested in you.

    • Show All
    • "White men who are open to IR dating will approach. They do it with Asian and Latina women." Yes, but no man approaches every girl he's interested in. A man who's open to dating white women doesn't approach every white woman he's interested in. Why would a man open to dating black women approach every black woman he's interested in?

      Every approach, whether you're male or female, is a potential waste of time, regardless of whether it's inter-racial or not.

    • I don't care who approaches her. I'm part black and speaking from experience. Never asked a guy out cause I've never had to. But I wouldn't approach a white guy, because 9/10 I'm not on his radar because of my race and skin color.

      If she were Asian or Latina I wouldn't tell her to not approach, because for those women race is not a disadvantage.

      But I can see the excuses and playing dumb is what's happening here.

  • Sometimes girls over exaggerate. I would like to see a pic

    • Yup, over exagerating. Short hair... so what?! your attractive.

    • Thanks

  • Then there's no help for you. You've already bought into the western world's so called beauty standards instead of believing in yourself and not giving a fuck about what others think.

    • Ego boost alert ! Ego boost alert! There's nothing wrong with you (and I almost 100% sure you already know that) and it seems like you're just looking for a ego boost . Get over yourself .

    • Show All
    • She didn't initially post her pic so I don't think she's fishing. Plus, if she's been on this site long enough she'd know how most guys on here feel towards black women. So fishing would be a reach

    • There's nothing wrong with her. I don't know why she thinks that.

What Girls Said 1

  • Find hobbies and interests to keep yourself occupied.

    By the sounds of it, you are at a disadvantage, but it's difficult to say without a picture. If you mean you have a tan, tan skin IS desirable in the west. In other parts of the world self hating retards bleach their skin.


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