Ok fellow men, how important are looks to you in a girl?

Try to be completely honest if you can. I'm pretty sure looks on a girl are more important to a guy than the other way around.

It's the thing I think some of us hate to admit because it may make us seem more superficial than some of us really are.

I'll start it off by saying that the girls gonna have to be at least a 6/10 or above in order for me to be attracted. After that her personality has to keep me in, but her looks do help a bit in this as well. And if you've seen my other topic about hair, brunette's with medium to dark brown hair and brown eyes usually almost always attracts me more than the other colors.

However, I can tell you that I have walked away from girls who looked pretty hot due to their poor personality so personality still wins in the end if their looks are near top notch.

It's like this for me: if looks = 1/10, but personality = 10/10 I think I would still consider going out with her, but unfortunately you are going to have to be one hell of a person and you'll have to work a little harder in the looks department if you want to attract me so I can find out.

However, if a girl looks hot as hell 10/10, but her personality just reeks of damn near evilness 1/10, you may attract me at first, but there's no chance in hell I'd go out with you once I figure you out.

However the bad thing is, if it were a choice between a girl who only looks ok with a great personality vs a really hot girl with a great personality, the latter will win. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow, but that's just the way it is with me, and perhaps some of the other guys here too. Again I'm just trying to be utterly honest. Sometimes I wish I could say that looks don't matter, but its a lie depending on their personality.

Anyway, if you read all of that good for you, I hope you don't think I'm a bad person after writing this topic, I'm just trying to help let you girls know some of the stakes so when you are out trying to find someone you can feel more confident in how you can prepare yourself. And I hope the other guys that answer do so with this similar goal in mind. If all our answers differ drastically though than I suppose it doesn't matter so much and it really does depend on any one individual guy.

Please be respectful if you can. I just want to have a good discussion without flames if that's possible
Btw just wanted to be clear that looks, to me, only matter in the initial attraction phase of a relationship. Personality is what matters most after that.


Most Helpful Girl

  • My general observation is that guys my age (I'm 22) care a heck of a lot about looks; well, girls too, but I agree that guys are more superficial when it comes to looks. But as people age and mature, looks become increasingly less important. You start to realize that love is about finding a companion that you can spend your life with and looks are just a tiny part of that equation because looks fade. Even if you are with the most attractive partner, after awhile, their beauty becomes more of a banal thing to you and you focus more on other aspects of that person, the more lasting aspects.

    I also find this "looks or personality" argument frustrating because it's never that black and white. You say that if all else is equal, you will go for the "hot" girl...but are you judging the "hot" girl less harshly simply because she is more attractive? In other words, I feel that people's expectations of overly attractive people are slim simply because by default, they expect "hot" people to be dumb or vain. I wish people would stop saying "looks or personality." Everyone can have a great personality. Everyone can be smart and funny and sassy...but that has nothing to do with compatibility. Compatibility is something that is deeper and that determines whether or not you can spend your life with that other person. You can be beautiful and smart and EVERYTHING...but you still might not be "the one" for everyone. I guess what I'm saying is it takes more than just looks or a glimpse of a person's "personality" (which I've learned can also be completely deceiving). What it all comes down to is that indefinable essence of "we fit."

    • No, you're right, its not that black and white at all. Maybe I should've made a point about that up there, but I'll do it here. I'm just speaking from my own experiences. When I say hot, I mean in my perception and mine alone. Those guys down there probably have their own idea's on what "hot" looks like. And also personality can be deceiving indeed. I have met a few women who seemed really outgoing and nice, but after one date I find something else. I also know that this topic is missing...

    • The other side of the coin as well. You women have your own idea's as to what "hot" looks like in a guy and what a good personality looks like. So taking all of those into account, I would say compatibility would have to be = close to 10 on both partners personality scale for it to as you say "fit."

    • In the short run, yes, I'd say everyone is attracted to more superficial qualities in potential partners. But trial and error has taught me that looks and outward personality are poor indicators of who people really are. Nothing beats the time it takes to really get to know someone. The downside to all of this is that sometimes, we might be letting really compatible people pass us by simply because on a certain superficial scale, they fall below someone else.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • just out of curiosity, where on your looks scale would you place yourself? since you're all about the appearance here, I don't feel too bad judging you as kind of an average to below average looking guy. I'm not a particularly pretty girl but I had a guy add me on facebook last year and tell me that I'm beautiful and am the kind of girl he could "see" himself with. he ended with, "but I know I'm not much of a looker." I guess my issue is how come it's okay for a guy to turn away a girl based on looks when a girl can't judge a guy who isn't much of a "looker"? appearance isn't a big deal to me either way but I hate hypocrisy and double standards.

    • Who says you can't? Sometimes I think you women just feel like you can't do something when you really can. I mean you know the stories of guys who get called a pimp for sleeping around a lot, but women get called sluts for doing the same. Sure some people are judgmental like that, but It should have nothing to do with how you see yourself and what you like doing. The girl who sleeps around a lot shouldn't feel bad if its something she truly likes doing.

      Anyway to get to the main point... cont.

    • Show All
    • Ok that's your opinion gonaners. I could've said a 9-10, and I could've just said a 1 but even I know none of those isn't being honest in the slightest.

    • I suppose you are right in one point, I really do appreciate honesty. this just doesn't seem like something worth posting. we all know the world is made of superficial people, posting about this lumps you in there big time. but really, I suppose honesty and posting with your picture available is the best way to go about this needless subject.

  • I think looks are very important to most young men.

  • I think guys care a lot about looks. just like a lot of girls

  • I agree with you. The world is like that, hell I am like that! If I had to choose between an OK looking guy with a good personality and the fine guy with the good personality I would choose the fine one too. I think that just makes you human, we all want the best.

    That being said, what is "good looking" really? One man's trash is another man's treasure. Your 8/10 for a girl could be another man's 3/10 ya know? We all have different tastes. To me as long as a girl makes an effort she can be pretty but she can't be one of those chicks who doesn't try and then complains that no one is interested in her.

    Also another girl had a point. I hate when guys are average to ugly (NOT saying you are! I haven't even looked at your pic. I think my computer has a virus and I'm afraid to even click another link lol) but yeah, I Hate when guys are not up to standard but then they act like girls have to be perfect for them. If you're gonna judge other people by certain standards you better live up to them yourself.


What Guys Said 2

  • 4/10, and I say that because personality counts more than looks for me...at least more than 50%. I'm at the point where I'd rather have a long term relationship and so it's a must that any girl I get serious with is compatible with me; I'm not willing to put up with a bunch of BS or change who I am just because the girl is hot.

  • On a scale of one to ten, one being the least important, ten being the most, I'd rank it a 5-6. It's not like I haven't been attracted to beautiful girls, but I've also been attracted to who they are. I Looks are great, but they're not everything, without getting too preachy. Contrary to what I think, the way a girl looks says a lot about who she is, because you would want a girl who is say, sexy, confident, and sure of herself, but that doesn't mean that's what all guys want. Her personality, however, reveals who she really is. And that's just as attractive, if not more, than looks~

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