My insecurities are limiting my relationships?

It would mean the world to me if you took time to read this, and respond. Thank you. :)

I can only recall a couple times in my life where I have felt really good about myself. I'm in my mid-teens and already an experienced yo-yo dieter. Even those times that I felt good about myself, it was never complete confidence there were always things I hated, I just learned to ignore them (that is until someone pointed them out). I have ALWAYS felt huge, compared to absolutely everyone, unless they were like seven feet tall or something. I'd look at fat people and get sad 'cause I'd think, "That's what I look like to other people", even when I didn't look remotely similar. I'd like what I saw in the mirror, then step out of my room, see my sister whom I view as the epitome of perfection and feel like a blimp. I just never feel like I'm good enough, for ANYONE. I've only ever ALMOST had a boyfriend, and that ended because I was too insecure I never wanted him to come too near or touch me because I felt so fat. I am very confident in my face and hair, I know I'm beautiful. That's never been the problem, it's always just fat fat fat fat fat. And I'm not even! By health standards I'm in the upper healthy range if not SLIGHTLY overweight (5'4 1/2" and 148lbs). And I'm a runner. I just always feel terrible about myself, so I gorge on food, and my passion for working out never benefits me, because my life is one big binge! There's a boy I like, we're about the same height, he's slightly taller, but he's little and I always feel like the freaking titanic next to him. I hate it and I want OUT so I can enjoy life! I know I am never getting anywhere if I can't get past this... So PLEASE if you have any useful advice on how I can finally start overlooking my body and FEELING beautiful? Would it be useful if I did drop 15-20 pounds?


Most Helpful Girl

  • First off...When I was fitness instructor I was 5''5" and 148 and I looked HOT! Not skinny, not bulky, just right. I was very solid and looked like I was about you can't just go by the scale. That being said, you sound like an eating disorder waiting to happen...and that's not good. You will also sabotage your relationships if you don't seek help. So here's my advice:
    1) SEE A COUNSELOR and a dietician.
    2) Understand...a guy knows if you're bigger by looking at you dressed, if he wants to date you then he obviously doesn't care!
    3) Not every guy wants to date a stick thin girl.
    4) Be healthy above all else.
    5) Binge eating is a choice. You can stop!


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What Guys Said 2

  • Girl, I love you as one of God's creatures but you're mistaken about one thing.

    You're overweight. 150 lbs at 5'4" is chubby, unless you're into body building and I'm sure that you're not.

    Yes, losing 15-20 pounds will do wonders for you. No, you don't need to only eat veggies or some other super strict diet. Just eat in moderation and you'll be fine. Lifting weights will help you too. A lot of women are scared of looking buff but that won't happen unless you lift A LOT of weight. Building muscle helps burn calories over night. Do that plus Yoga and you'll be fine.

    But if you want to stay the way you are don't feel too bad. Plenty of dudes love bigger women, oddly enough it's the skinny guys that love big girls.

  • you are not overweight. you haven't met the right person. you are still young


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