What if he's way hot, but not the coolest?

Say you see a guy and he's freaking hot! Nice face, body, everything. Then he comes over to talk to you and you have a decent little conversation. He asks you where your from and your name, and he teases you a little bit in there, but you can tell he's a little nervous. After a couple minutes he asks for you number and leaves.

He didn't come across as a big jerk, or a big loser. But he wasn't overly funny either.

K, I'm not gonna lie, I just described myself. I work out and try to look good and girls have always told me I'm way hot. I'm not saying this to brag, I just don't see why its so hard to get a girl. Yea I'm a little nervous when I first talk to a girl, but who isn't? Anyways when I call girls like this, you know like one or two days later, they only answer or call me back like maybe half the time. WHY? What is it that girls want?

I'm wondering if I should stop working out. It would really be easier for me. At least if I was way ugly or something I would understand why it's so hard to get a girl. I consider myself a pretty cool guy. What the freak?
Girls always say they want a hot guy, and they like to check guys out and stuff..so looking good isn't a bad thing is it? I'm not obsessive about it, I pluck my eyebrows, sometimes do my hair, sometimes let scruff grow on my face...I always try to smell good


Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, just from reading your post, I wouldn't be interested either. Why? Because you are too into your looks. You also have a warped sense of reality about what works in a relationship. Being extremely good looking will only get you so far and it's no guarantee that you will be in a successful relationship. As much as I hate to stereotype and whatnot, very often, I find the "hottest" guys to be extremely bland in conversation; they look good but when it comes to talking, they are boring. That turns me off like nothing else. Because I've personally experienced this in the past so often, I specifically avoid model type looking guys. I have met a few really good looking guys (one who was a male model) who were very interesting individuals but they all had this "I look hot, I can get any girl I want mentality" and as soon as I find that out about them, I'm just turned off. No one likes conceited people.

    I don't think it is your nerves that is turning girls off. Work on your personality; stop thinking that just because you look good, you can get girls. That might work for girls who are into superficial things in life, but bonds based on superficiality don't last.

    • I don't think just my looks should get girls. My personality is good too. I can be funny and everything and I'm not a boring person. I DO think that my looks should help though. Because whenever I tell girls that they don't care about looks, they say Yes we do!

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    • For example, I am 22. I am looking for a guy who is responsible, mature, intelligent, can handle things, an adult, you know? I don't want someone who still has a high school type mentality and places so much emphasis on superficial things. It depends on what YOU want. At this point in your life, are you ready for a mature relationship or do you just want a fling? If you want the former, you need to work on feeling more secure with yourself and having more confidence.

    • I do just want a fling right now. I just got out of a long relationship.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • you have to be likable, approachable, and interesting. when guys are "hot", as you're saying, it can be intimidating and girls assume that just based on how much effort you appear to put into your looks that you're a total dbag. to beat this unfair assessment, you have to compensate with interesting things to say that aren't about yourself. girls aren't impressed when you go on and on about how amazing you think you are.

    read a book or something and talk about something interesting and/or funny. or ask girls about themselves. we like this. do this while treating girls with the utmost respect, then they will want to call you back . then they'll be interested because you're cool and good looking and will want to know more about you.

    • I know all this, I don't just talk about myself or anything. I approach them just like anybody else would and I ask them questions and crap. I didn't mean to put so much emphasis on my looks. I do think its dumb though, guys have to be freakin perfect for girls to want them. I'm a cool, good lookin guy, plus I have to be the one to approach the girl and try to make them laugh a lot in that awkward setting, for them to want me....I hate it when girls say they have it harder.

  • whoa whoa hold on here. just because lots of girls are bitches and say they want "hot guys"

    sounds a little vain... I mean its nice to have! but its not overly important. this bothered me,

    you had the balls to walk up to girls and ask for a number?! uhm props to you! I might know one guy who would do that. also, if your not working out for yourself or wanting the best for your self. then there is no point in doing it for everyone else. and what do girls want? everything. not going to happen! but if anything charisma and confidence is most important, you can get any woman you want if you have those things. like for example when guys are nervous they tend to make jokes. which to woman is confident and if you can make them laugh it makes the situation less tense and interesting, just be confident in your self! and only take what you deserve and nothing less. good luck!

  • It's not all about the looks. It's about the personality. if you were average looking but had an amazing personality it would be great. Girls want someone who is confident with himself and yet sweet and caring. A balance of confidence and humility is a good thing. Just be yourself.

    • I am myself, plus in good shape...whats the problem?

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    • Read the update. I don't obsess about my looks. I just think that a pretty cool guy, mixed with some looks would have some girls wanting him.

    • I say obsess because you keep going on and on about how your looks are and how girls like that and blah blah blah. Your confidence is lacking and you focus way too much on what others think. This makes you less desireable.

What Guys Said 2

  • You sound like your too into yourself. How? The hints in your post, "What is it that girls want"?

    Then..."I'm wondering if I should stop working out. It would really be easier for me."

    The point the girls were trying to make was to simply be yourself and not conform to what you feel girls want. Your not original and your not doing yourself any favors with a mindset such as yours. It's about personality.

  • Dunno man, maybe try meeting girls at party, or clubs and stuff.

    • Yea that's what I'm thinkin