I feel really shallow right now but i can't help it...?

so i've been talking to this guy and i love his personality but i never saw what he looked like

he sent me a picture and he's just not what i had in mind and it kind of makes me feel different about him. that's horrible right?

I still like his personality, but i kind of liked him more when i had my own image of what he looked like in my head.

why am I like this? :[


Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course you liked him more when you had your own image of what he looked like in your head. The image in your head, I'm guessing, was much more handsome or different from what he actually looks like. Thus, you're disappointed. That's normal, because as humans, we are attracted towards things and people that are aesthetically pleasing, so now that you've discovered he doesn't meet your individual standards of what is attractive, you're let down.

    What you're feeling is normal and doesn't make you shallow, it makes you human. If you really do love his personality, though, then what would make you really shallow was if you just up and dumped him because what he looks like on the outside doesn't match up to your view of what attractive is. Eventually, if you get really deep feelings for him, his looks won't matter. You'll be far too in love with who he is as a person to be caught up on what he looks like. You won't look at him and think "Dang I wish he looked better" because once you love someone, the love is simply much stronger than the human tendency to be more attracted to what is aesthetically pleasing.

    • yeah and i mean its not like anything serious will happen, he lives in another country so i can still just talk to him. but i feel bad about feeling like that.

      *but* the more i look at the picture, the more qualities i see.. if that helps anything haha...

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What Guys Said 1

  • Don't lead him on, that's the worst thing you can do. Just straight up tell him in the nicest way possible.


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