+1 y

Am I doing the right thing or am I overreacting?

I just broke up with my guy of 1.5 years. He has a "best friend" who is a girl, which I was fine with in the beginning because I understand how guys and girls can be friends only, but a few months after we were together, I started feeling weird - he didn't seem to be treating her simply as a friend only. We got into fights about that girl for many times and we ended up breaking up at the end of the year.

We later on got back together after a month or so, and he admitted that he liked that girl (the reason we broke up), but he knows that it's mistake now. So we got back together and he kept being "friends" with her. Of course I didn't feel good about it, but I didn't say anything because he has his right to choose what to do.

Until 2 months ago, he lied saying that he was hanging out with a guy when he's actually hanging out with that girl and I found out about it, then I got really mad. His reason was that I got upset when he goes out / talks with that girl, so he just lied about it. I was very mad and I told him how it's not going to work out if he still does all those shady things with that girl. I implied that he'd have to pick either her or me because it just wouldn't work if there's always this other girl who's more important to him than me. He picked that girl, saying how he's been through a lot with her and she's very important to him, but then the next day, he regretted it. We talked for a long time. I honestly told him how I disliked that girl because of all those shady things they have done, how that girl has been a bitch, being mean to me, and doing things that hurt my feelings the whole time (saying bad things about me, trying to upset me, getting my boyfriend to be mad at me, and taking advantages of my boyfriend etc). At the end, he promised he wouldn't see that girl again because he really loved me and wanted us to work out.

It was fine for 1.5 months, then he ran into that girl by "accident" when he hung out with a friend because he didn't know that that girl was going to be there. After they hung out, he said that how he wanted to keep contact with that girl because she's his best friend and she's very important to him, still. And he wanted me to ACCEPT that girl, or else we wouldn't be together. I said I wouldn't be able to handle it and explained all those reasons again. I was willing to give him up if he wouldn't give up that girl, but I guess he was just trying to push me to accept that girl instead of really wanting to break up with me, so when I said I wouldn't accept it, he tried to escape from the problem and act like nothing's happened.

It was fine for 2-3 weeks. Then today, he brought it up again, saying how it bothers him when he can't be friends with that girl. So I just told him to be "friends" with that girl and we'll be over.

I just think that if that girl is so important to him that he can't even detach himself from her, then what's the point for me to be with him? Am I doing the right thing?
+1 y
He has known that girl for 5yrs now, but I don't think that can be an excuse to hurt me because of her. And if they're just friends, that girl shouldn't be in between us. I've 4-5 guy friends who I've know for over 7yrs, we don't do shady things like that
Am I doing the right thing or am I overreacting?
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