Holding hands?

I cannot understand why won't my boyfriend hold my hand, for example when we walk on the street. When I put my hand into his he will make any excuse to disengage, I. E. Show me with the hand something on the street etc. I did ask him about it but he seem very uncomfortable even talking about it. I do find it upsetting as it feels that we are just two strangers walking down the road. Also, he does something else. As we walk he can change the direction suddenly which leaves me frustrated. He is affectionate and likes me to rub his back or hair all the time even in public places, but. I am lost


Most Helpful Girl

  • This reminds of stuff I learned in college psychology class. I think you might be able to go slow and train your boyfriend so that he LIKES to hold hands in public (which apparently he doesn't like to do right now. ) For example, next time you are in a movie theater together, take his hand, and use your other hand to rub his back or his hair (or somewhere else he likes. ) Let him associate the pleasurable feelings with the hand holding. Keep doing this for a while, and I'll bet he'll come around. Heck -- he may want to hold your hand all the time! :) Good luck!

    • Very good idea. I certainly will try, cos the guy is sensitive and affectionate but not when it comes to holding hands. Thank you so much xxx

    • So, how is it going? Any progress?

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sometimes it'd be awkward.

    Last girlfriend would pull me around, which was annoying. We'd be walking, and suddenly my equilibrium is out of whack (maybe some muscles pulled) because she saw a candle store.

    At least let us know when you suddenly change your mind and want to see something. And she was always dragging me around.

    Sometimes I'd break off the hand holding because my palms were getting sweaty and gross.

    Sometimes it'd be because she's start picking at my hands whenever I'd hold her hand, and it'd get uncomfortable. Most of the time she'd come from a weird uncomfortable angle. It was the weirdest thing. She'd twist up her hands.

    Sometimes it'd be because we'd be walking between people or lamp posts, and there'd be no room to move myself far enough over to the side to avoid the obstacle.

    And sometimes I didn't feel like holding hands with a girl (especially if she's fighting with me or insulting me and I'm still in a slighty annoyed mood)

    I don't think I stopped holding hands with a girl out of embarrassment (either me being cautious about how I look, or that I'm embarrassed by how my date is acting), but I suppose it's another possibility.

    I have a habit of cracking my knuckles. So if I'm nervous, (a nervous habit that I work to get rid of) I'm tempted to play with the hands.

    There are a ton of different reasons it can happen. Usually it's not because of you, or that we don't want to be seen with you, but because it's awkward or it's a weird situation.

    You kind of have to look at the situations outside of the both of you. If he pushes you into a bush or behind a tree any time his friends come by, or he sees another woman, than it's an issue.

    But if he stops holding hands, wipes his hands on his sleeve, and then takes your hand again, then it's a temporary thing and it's not against you.

    If he's near you, and continues to walk with you, it's not that he doesn't want to be seen with you. And it's a different situation.

    A stopped dating a girl. A few weeks later, I was at a singles group with her. She comes up, starts hugging me (that's ok). Then she starts demanding a big long kiss, and gets upset that we're not kissing in front of everyone - mind you we had broken up weeks before. 2) It was a singles group, and the yelling at me for it (in public) was awkward. I'm not going to be flopping all over a girl at singles events, especially someone I had stopped dating. It's not right.


What Girls Said 1

  • this is so interesting that I found this. I am going thru something very much the same.

    i have been dating this guy off and on for 3 months now. and at the beginning he held my hand, hugged me, kissed me. he broke up with me 2 times saying I wasn't for him, said that I have too much an attitude. wutever, because he came back, realized I'm a damn good woman.

    funny thing is, I don't feel like in public he is my man anymore. he won't do those loving things he once did. it sux because I am very affectionate and ya, it hurts my feelings. I asked him what was up, he says this is the real me, at the beginning it was the honeymoon faze and now I am comfortable with you and don't feel like I need to impress you anymore. said that he knows I like that public affection but because he is a private person, he won't do that. but to be honest I think its more to it then just that. I just can't put my finger on it yet. it offends me because he was one way one minute I and then he breaks up with me then gets back with me and its different. he introduced me to a female friend, and he didn't even touch me in anykind of way. no hug, no hand on shoulder, no kiss, nothin. I was hurt and very p*ssed off.

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