Why do American women think "All men are creeps"?

Hi, I am international student studying in the US.

It's funny how a lot of women in the US think "all men are creeps." I was watching a reality TV show where one woman said, " I get approached by guys at grocery stores and book stores and it really creeps me out." The other girl she was talking to said "yeah, I know what you mean, last week at the gym a guy started talking to me and then asked me for my number, what a weirdo."

WTF? What's wrong with starting conversations with girls at book stores, grocery stores and at the gym? Why is that considered "creepy" by some women in America? I guess it goes to show that in the US, your supposed to mind your own business when you are out in public and only approach women at bars, clubs and parties.

The interesting thing is the idea that "guys are creeps" seemed to have started not too long ago, maybe in the 70's or 80's. Before that time, approaching women in public was considered ok and normal. Maybe with the rise of feminism, approaching women in public became taboo.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Check this heavily-answered question about creepiness (in particularly the post by bobair):


    I don't think this has much to do with feminism as it has to do with just people in general being sensitive, fearful, paranoid, suspicious, etc. particularly women. Read or watch the news and we see shootings, stabbings, abductions, rape, assault, etc. and in addition most of these are committed by men.

    The funny thing is I can't really blame women for thinking the way they think. Also for some women, the term creepy or creep is more of an umbrella term that includes any guy that gives unwanted attention. For example, "That creepy guy just said 'Hi' to me!", an exaggeration but nonetheless true. Think about it from a women's POV that any guy she sees could be a potential murder, kidnappist, rapist, etc. and then you'll understand why, even more so with a child (men too).

    Its kind of sad that people can't have conversations with each other without being so suspicious; and to further complicate the situation, without being suspicious of signs of attraction: is that guy hitting on me? is she sending me signs?

    My final question to all:

    Clubs and bars (and some parties to a degree) are generally for hookups and if people can't look for significant others in public places then where are we to look? Or shall we just "wait for it to happen"?

    My answer:

    The waiting game doesn't work for everyone and with actively meeting people you increase your chances of finding someone. And I'd really rather not wait as I'm a go-getter :p Now a friendship can turn into a serious relationship and a serious relationship can turn into a friendship but the former involves removing yourself from the sandtrap that is the friend zone (longer you wait the harder it is to get out - clever analogy haha) and the latter does not actually result in a serious relationship. You'd only want to be in the friend-zone if you really wanted to be friends or because you weren't sure of what you wanted - so why go through the friendship when you already know what you want?

    So what will I do personally? This is my strategy: I do my best to avoid women that are not interested, go after the obviously interested ones - of course how to tell if someone's attracted is where it gets tricky *sigh*. Well I do what I can and make it obvious without being offensive - lots of but not too much eye contact and smiling (should come natural if you like the person), and especially obvious conversational hinting - need both visual and verbal cues; as a guy, no physical cues unless she initiates. IMO, for guys a direct verbal cue is the most effective way but this does not work for women (you know what I'm talking about). I only try to pursue so many times at which point, move on. I won't chase girls because 1)I like women and 2)it might come off creepy. Some women might get "cr

    • Some women might get "creeped" out (my apologies ladies) but with enough luck hopefully I can find someone and save myself some pain and them some grief. If you've got better suggestions I'm all ears.

    • Show All
    • Just based on this fact and American history it's a wonder how we get anything done (many thanks to the founding fathers) but because of people's different backgrounds and people's nature to distrust anything different/new it makes building a strong sense of unity difficult on all levels. At the same time America was built with the principle of individualism. Finally, although slavery is done with, it left a big impact on how we are today. Fortunately it's slowly changing.

    • Having dealt with the past, today, we're just a lot more sensitive - lawsuits, etc. Essentially we have a way to get almost anything we want, tangible and intangible. I guess with this greater freedom and power, there's more potential of stepping on someone else's shoes. With your question, women tend to be the victims thus naturally more suspicious than men. More suspicious women will use the term more loosely and vice versa. Don't take it personally unless you really are a creep.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes. It is considered weird/creepy/whatever to randomly walk up to a woman and start conversing with her at a library or grocery store or whatever, while it is socially acceptable to socialize in a place specifically designated for socializing. I don't really think that this has anything to do with feminism, because it's also considered unusual for guys to come up and randomly start talking to guys that they don't know, and, while slightly less so, it is considered odd if a woman randomly starts talking to a woman she has never met before. I think that there has just been a general increase in fear of strangers over the past few decades, for some reason.

    • Ya it is considered weird to walk up to a random girl and start talking to her. It can also be very awkward for both. If I saw a girl who was my perfect match or my type of girl, I would absolutely regret it if I didn't at least try to talk to her...

    • Indeed this is the case in Anglo-Saxon countries, but not in my country (the Philippines). People in the Philippines are much more friendly than Americans.

What Guys Said 3

  • I don't have an answer for you but just wondering where are you from and what is the attitude among women there?

    • Well I'm from the Philippines and women there are generally much more friendly than American women. They don't have this American 'bitch shield' around them, well most of them. I mean, in general, people are more friendly in the Philippines than in America.

  • Women are becoming increasingly venal and only the few who drive Porsches are not creeps now to many of them. I'm afraid it's not more complicated than that

    • I think you can be very correct. Most American women to my knowledge do not like a man for who he is, but for what he makes.

    • Asker--can you send me a private message so we can be friends?

  • There's basically a double standard. If the girls likes you than starting a convo with her at a grocery store is "cute". If they're not attracted to you then it's "creepy".

    • I have to agree with you there. American women and men are hypocrites when it comes to attractiveness.