How should I go about flirting with a very shy girl?

There is a girl at work that I really like, however she is extremely shy and hardly talks to anyone or says anything. Maybe there is a reason behind this? How should I approach her and try to ask her on a date.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was that very shy girl. Here's what I would do. Notice what she drinks. Buy one for her, put it on her desk. She will look up. Give a wink and a great big smile, then turn around and go back to your desk. She what she does. It might take a couple more times of doing this, then ask her name when you drop off the latest drink. When she tells you, say "Hi ____ ! Nice to meet you! Stop by some time if you're in the neighborhood." That way you are breaking the ice. Then eventually let her decide how to proceed. Shy girls will be suspicious if you come on too strong too fast.

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    • It's great to hear from someone that knows her position. What if there is a reason she is like that? (Past experiences with guys for example) how can I show her that she can trust me and open up without scaring her away

    • I had a reason too. We all do. But that really is not important. The important parts are to notice her (buying her the drinks), being friendly but not coming on strong, and let her decide if she wants to trust you. This takes a little time. But worth it. Once she does come to your desk, just walk through it slowly and non-threatening. The results are all in your approach, and how you leave her carrots. :) Good luck!!!

Most Helpful Guy

  • not to burst your bubble, but the girl could be socially awkward/disinterested not shy. There is a difference, some girls just aren't into dating, sex, etc. I know my sister and cousins are like that , also even if a girl is shy she will give you subtle signals, like looking at you ( she will look down or away when you look at her). If she ignores you that doesn't mean she is shy..

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Approach her and just chat. Ask her how she is each morning. Just get to know her. Once she realises you are a nice guy who likes a friendly chat you can ask her for a date.

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    • Good advice

    • What should I do if she dosent say anything back? She usually just gives me a shy smile then Carrys on with what she's doing

    • Waaaait Tom! You have already won! Giving a shy smile is perfect. At least how I'd be doing it : Try sitting somehow next to her, ask her how she is. Dont ask her to much. Give it time.

  • You should be nice to her and make her laugh. ask her questions about her but try not make her uncomfortable tho.

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  • it may be 2 posibilites. first, she likes you or other man from work and the second, she may be anxious. my advice is that you should text her or invite her to a coffe and see what happend

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What Guys Said 9

  • Just ask her. Just say you like her and think she's attractive or whatever and you'd like yo get yo know her.

    I'm sure she would appreciate the gesture at least.

    You're right, there probably is a reason behind it, maybe she's self conscious or has trouble making friends... But give it a shot and you may be in luck

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  • With slow low tones to instill comfort. Kinda like Berry Mantelo. Don't be forward but wait for her to respond positively to you before you ask her on a date.

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  • Sometimes you gotta take the time to break the shell before you can go for the "punch" (asking her out)

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  • Always assume there is some issue for her. Whatever you do be patient and gentle. She will come around eventually if she is interested

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  • You only get one life, just ask her. There's a 50 percent chance she'll say yes

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  • use notes.

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    • just to avoid confusion. send her notes. don't glue them around for others to see. fold papers with messages inside and give it to her. tell her she can answer whenever, in the same manner. dont try to get in her pants, that will just ruin her day/life.

  • Use nonverbal communication.

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  • Buy her. This is a time open åland

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  • Pretend your shy too

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    • She already knows I'm not shy 😅 I'm very confident usually.. but with her I don't know what to say

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    • If she's just shy around me should I see that as a good thing, or not?

    • It is a good thing

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