How to flirt properly with women at bars?

Okay so basically i just get really nervous around girl that I find attractive and literally it's annoying me that my mind goes blank.. so I was just wondering what's the best thing to say to a girl you're thinking about going up go at a bar or on a night out

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Step 1) don't show that you are nervous
    Step 2) give off a non threatening vibe unless you are THAT confident
    Step 3) ask her how she is enjoying her night. Her response will greatly tell you what kind of luck you may have and if you should pursue another
    Step 4) don't get caught up on one girl. If she wants you, she will be around you (in your visual sphere) and be smiling when she looks at you.
    Step 5) get a phone number or social media, dont try to get too physical. Wait until the next nightfall (for hookup) unless you want to date her, then text her before 2pm so she knows you want to know her personality.

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    • Basically the whole "be yourself" thing is bullshit. In a high pressure momment for you she expects you to be ice cold have 0 nervous feelings. That's not even human but since girls are the selectors, do as they say or die alone

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    • Semantically, I never said all males under 40. And also, thank you for that completely irrelevant and completely unfounded assumption of my sexual history. It is quite refreshing.

    • Then we're even for assuming I have a bruised ego

Most Helpful Guys

  • I just talk to a woman like I talk to anyone (see her like anyone) but if she responds positively I talk to her like I knew her all my life. I look their way if they are next to me and give them an in or look at her unique drink she has and/or ask the bartender that is serving her what kind of a drink that is and that usually gets a three way conversation going to start things. The bartender can be key here, if you get a fun one start talking any crazy sht with him/her. The bartender has to talk to you at least to take your order so start some bs right there. Talk details of some bu$hit drink, anything. Use the bartender for comedy relief if possible. It will suck her into the interchange. If it doesn’t work the first night, tip the sht out of him/her then the next night they will bs with you. Don’t waste your time at clubs they are just for attention, go to bars or pubs. Don't get creep-ed out but, try to pretend she is your sister if you can't control your nerves. You have to not give a shit to get your brain straight. Just accept everything will be f-ed up, up front and then you have nothing to lose.

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  • Just break the ice by greetig her and asking her if you can buy her a drink. You can't plan in Advance what to saym and if you do, you'll probably get thrown off stride and caught by surprise if the convo doesn't go as you assumed, so just talk About whatever Comes to mind at the Moment.

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    • Greet her, ask her how she is doing, then offer to buy her a drink. After she orders, then the covo should start.

    • Okay now this, this is what I needed 👍🏼

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What Girls Said 7

  • Just introduce yourself. Ask them for their name. Ask if they are enjoying themselves. Talk about what you would with anybody else. You are attracted to them, yes, but you also want to get to know them. So get to know them.

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  • that will be very toughest job dude you need an experience dont hesitate to approach first after 2nd or 3rd attempt of approaching then you will get that ability

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  • Start if you can with something funny ! Take the plunge the worst thing she'll do it either ignore you or response 😎

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  • Get to know them as people not beings with love holes for your own personal target.

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    • I wasn't suggestion they anything less than people, I was simply asking for some good ice breakers. Not all guys are just after sex 👍🏼

    • I agree with jacob on this not all guys are after sex and one nighters i genuinly have no idea how to approach girls at all i know how to go and make friends with them but thats it

  • Talk to them normally, don't try to flirt.

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    • I feel like when I talk to a girl I'm interested in normally I tend to be moved into the friendzone so to speak

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    • Some women, mayhaps. I am a 36 year old veteran and a fulltime single father to an austitic kid while myself living with multiple sclerosis. I am fighting for my disability but all of things has not stopped me from dating. The only real problem is I choose to approach the wrong ones and avoid all the signs it will not be a great relationship. Why dwell over rejection or friendzoning when you just got the ultimate sign she is not right for you relationally?

    • I only knew that feel to have learning disabilities. I went to q college that has a lot of different type of learning disabilities. My learning disability is 18p. My last ex-bf was autism too. my current boyfriend has prader Willi syndrome. Lot of people like to keep them for granted. I am one that help my boyfriend. I knew the world now.

  • just smile and say hi

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  • First buy her drink then talk

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What Guys Said 20

  • Easy answer, don't. Flirting at a bar is great for sex or for toxic relationships. The likelihood of you finding a decent partner while getting inebriated? None, especially since that was the first impression given. But, most women of substance are barely ever in a bar because they don't like the atnosphere of guys drunkenly humping their legs like chihuahuas.

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    • Not exactly what I was looking for but I see what you mean. Although you can't tarnish all women with the same toxic brush. Good men and women are not forbidden go to go bars!

    • It's not really toxic, think through it. Women seeking attention will be comfortable at a bar with drunk guys galore hitting on her. Girls with value and personality generally avoid that scene because of the implications of guys forcing themselves off, we are a society the worst case scenario is media shared regularly. It isn't to say that you can't meet a decent girl, but if you do, she is usually the quiet one who looks uncomfortable because her friends dragged her along and left her alone at the bar. And in that case, flirt minimally, choose conversation mostly. Alleviate her mindset at the end of the night and get her number, the respect you showed will be noticed.

    • That's right. Normally it's not good to approach a person sitting alone at a bar because you don't know if this person wants to be alone or not. And bartender don't like it too coz its hard to deal with. Many not all of course.

  • There is not much you have to know. Just be yourself and try, try and when you think you tried enough you try again. The more you do it the easier it gets en the more confident you get. Also don’t take it personal when you don’t succeed, you can’t be perfect for everyone. I’m sure you can do it good luck ;)

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  • Make it seem like you're the catch so she knows you are confident, cheeky, and not some loser putting her on the pedestal and offering to buy her drinks before she's earned it.

    For example I walk up to a girl and say "Did you just come over here to hit on me?" Then she'll be like "Wtf you came over here!" And you can laugh about it. You now have her laughing and thus her attention, avoiding the cold automatic response "We're just having a girls night out"

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  • Remember it's less about what you say and more about how you hold yourself. An example one lass I ended up dating told me that the reason she said yes to dating me was because we had a conversation about piracy and she respected that I would argue with her about something she strongly disagreed. It showed honesty and integrity apparently.

    It's not about words it's about attitude.

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  • Well it depends how brave u are.. and tactful talking do you have.. but i advise u to talk normal when you see her.. and it will happens when chance come..

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  • Ignore them. A lot of pretty women freak out when they can't get your attention.

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  • With a Peewee Herman ventriloquist puppet or not at all

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  • 1) Be hot
    2) if your not hot dont.

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    • Possibly worst advise ever but thanks for trying

    • It really is that easy though? If you're hot they will talk to you. Not hard bruv

    • Sounds like some superficial bullshit, only meant to get laid. Might as well go get a prostitute, ya whore.

  • Don't, it works better if you don't actively do it. Build interest by being polite but distant.

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  • I'm not a drinker but I don't know I just improvise?

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