How to compensate for lack of male attention and NOT cheat on my boyfriend, please read?
What Guys Said 10
You have an inside problem. And that can't be fixed or satisfied through an outside solution.
Just like junkies who seek drugs and alcohol as a way to avoid their inner demons, or as a distraction, seeking attention and approval from others will NOT fix low self esteem, loneliness or neediness.
It's impressive and important that you recognize that this is a self esteem issue. But I can promise you this... there is no amount of attention from gorgeous super models that will suddenly fix how you feel about yourself.
That's why you're having this conflict. Trying to not cheat on your boyfriend while also seeking the comfort and safety of feeling good enough, pretty enough, and valuable enough as a woman.
But this is an inside issue.
You're not gonna like this solution, until you experience the freedom and well being it brings after you've accomplished it... but here I go anyways...
True self esteem comes from the SELF. But what. you're doing is saying "I can only feel good about myself when others tell me I'm worthy, pretty, or they show it by giving me their attention."
Neediness is like a hunger. Except asking the world to feed you leaves you a victim to the world. If the world is busy, you're left feeling hungry. Or in this case, feeling unworthy, depressed, sad, ignored, ugly, and ultimately always a victim of your circumstances. And the worst part is, you're only going to get older and older, and less physically attractive with time... which means men will always be less and less interested with time.
How do you fix this?
You learn how to feed yourself. You learn how to trust and value your OWN inner judgements and values. You must take responsibility for yourself, and for your feelings and for your values and for your neediness.
You must learn how to decide your worth based on your own thoughts, not on the opinions of others. And that's a life long process, of course, but it takes very little time if you choose it.
Needing men to like you makes you a sad victim of their whims and opinions.
Deciding to choose how you feel about yourself, based on your own thoughts and inner discussions, makes you free of the opinions of others.
The upside is that you can feel good about yourself everyday forever, and that when people reject or insult you, it doesn't bother you at all. Because in reality other people don't REALLY know you, like YOU do.
That's all the space I'm given. I hope the helps.
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Therapy, self-help books or articles, maybe talk about it with a close friend or relative.
Whatever you do, DO NOT look for attention outside of your relationship. It's messed up, disloyal to your relationship, selfish, and it's an easy way to get yourself in a sticky situation.
" I have always had low self esteem " ... That is the core of the problem , I am the reverse , I dislike attention and do not care if people like me or not. You must tackle this , if you want to keep a high quality partner , I have had my low esteem issues when much younger... the British Army and passing Para selection / training was the best low esteem " correctional training " ever !!
Yep. This. Right here.
It's called being attention whore.
What you want is…imoral. In my book.
"tons of people consider me beautiful" ← you got way more then I ever will have.
I'd ask what is wrong with you, but…I don't really care. As far as I am concerned, I am just some random asshole on the internet. And you're anonymous, because of course you are. So as far as I am concerned, you're 54 year old bald guy, just trolling. I already see the fat…
you try and get someone that compliments you. You won't need more attention
You can't. and you shouldn't.
Get more attention with him.
this is why im single 😂
Sadly there are a lot of girls like you who "need" to get lots of male attention to feel validated and they let it screw up their happiness and their relationships. I would suggest seeking help before you screw up your current relationship, because you are definitely on a path toward that destination.
What Girls Said 1
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