What is a good way to make the first move without coming off too strong?

I am not used to making the first move or even making moves in general with guys. Im so used to the guy coming to me and from there we flirt if Im also interested in him or we just end up together naturally. I've been slowly learning how to flirt more now that Im single because it is frustrating when you're actually interested in someone but because you don't make the first move, you don't know how you're gonna show them you're interested. I recently met someone like a month ago but he lives in another city so we've just been messaging, so far not on the phone. We have been making plans to see each other again and it's pretty clear the interest is mutual. I am into him though and want to see where this goes but unfortunately we stopped messaging each other for some random reason so now I wanna hit him up but i don't know how. I've even been wanting to call him and make it a normal thing to talk over the phone but im not used to it. Making all these moves makes me feel like Im being too vulnerable or thirsty and thats the last thing i want. But Im sure he would like it if i showed him interest so I need to find ways in the middle where I'm making moves but that's attractive, not thirsty. How can I do that or what are some examples? (sending pics, selfies, calling him, etc)

0|1
59

Most Helpful Girl

  • You’re overthinking this. Guys aren’t complicated. Message him and say you’ve missed hearing from him. If he responds favorably, ask if you can call him to catch up. Don’t mention anything about romantic interest. If he doesn’t want you to call him, you know he’s not interested and you can move on without having revealed your feelings. If he does, then you can gauge his interest from the conversation. A lot of guys are afraid to make the first move and these things can die on the vine, which may be what happened here. If things pick back up, just ask him about meeting up again. Sending pics right away always seems thirsty. I would start with messaging and calling and work toward an in-person meeting. Don’t be overly flirty, just keep it confident and friendly to start and see where it leads. If you’re sure he’s interested but doesn’t make the move, make it.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 11 d ago

      Well this is why I’m overthinking it because of everything you just stated; sending him pics too soon is not good, don’t reveal your feelings yet until so on, don’t be “overly” flirty, like okay overly flirty looks different to everyone, etc. Lol all of this is why I’m unsure of what to do because everyone has a different perception of something. All these flirting things look different to everyone so I don't know what to do. Something that he thinks looks thirsty might not be thirsty to someone else. So it is complicated for both girls and boys. Trust me guys have done stuff to me that I don’t think is thirsty but when I tell other girls they’re look at it as thirsty or just unattractive and vice versa. But regardless, I did hit him up but briefly. It wasn’t an open ended starter to a conversation but he still responded positively so I feel like I did my part to show interest

Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe there are tricks to burn the spark right away. There's a good movie where a group of guys found a device that can read the girls minds. So basically if they say what the girls want to hear = they get laid almost instantly. Same thing must be with the guys. It's really hard to know what people think. But if you ask
    a lot about them, you can have a clue. Like he may be interested in sports, cars, computers and stuff. If you have some shared interests you can talk about that. I hope it helps.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

48
  • Approach confidently, smiling and compliment the guy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • When you hang in person brush up against him. Touch his hand by accident (in your case purposely 🤗. Compliment him, ask him if he’s a good kisser, these should make him know that you’re interested

    Mine please?
    Ex girlfriend just sent me a random apology message both on snap and iMessage. What reason did she do this? ↗

    1|1
    0|0
  • Set it up so he can knock it down. Say things like,
    - if only there was someone who could help me with "x",
    - well maybe next time you'll have to show/invite me to do "x"
    - if you can impress me at "x" I'll invite you to do "x"

    0|0
    0|0
    • 11 d ago

      Thanks for these examples. I’ll try some of these because I want us to keep talking. Even though he responded to me recently in a good way, I would still wanna build something out of it not hey and bye

  • ask his opinion on something to restart dialog. Maybe how you look in a picture or something.

    0|0
    0|0
  • start a conversation with him and if he keeps going then he’s interested if he doesn’t he’s not interested

    0|0
    0|0
  • Chloraform would be the easiest way to make the first move for sure.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Before you die or get sick make a move

    0|0
    0|0
  • Play Chess being "White".

    0|0
    0|0
  • Using eye contact

    0|0
    0|0
  • Woke up and gently grabbed his package. Or, if you're too shy for that, send him a close up picture of your snatch with the message "it' ready anytime you want it"

    0|0
    0|0
  • Do anything. You won’t come off too strong. It’s very straightforward.

    1|0
    0|0
  • if you both started off with mutual interest, then there’s no harm in hitting him up again! i feel like sending pics or selfies would be a bit too forward, especially if you don’t know where you stand with him. calling him would be a good idea, maybe after messaging him first to see how he’s doing? arrange to meet him for coffee and befriend him first - then he’ll feel a lot closer with you. keep meeting him n the more you meet him, the closer he will feel. then sending pics would look less thirsty

    0|0
    0|0
    • 11 d ago

      Yeah I don’t think I’ll cal him anytime soon. To me it’s too soon and still feels weird. Sending him pics maybe but I’m still unsure how it would be viewed. I did hit him up and he responded positively but we didn’t continue

Recommended myTakes

Loading...