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When you meet a guy, in order to tell if you think he could be your boyfriend, do you have to know him at least 3 months?
Updates:
- That actually sounds about right- for me at least. Looks are not enough to impress me; that's lust.
I don't fall for a guy I barely know. I have to talk to him, get to know him, see if we have anything in common...
So I'd say 3 months... maybe sooner, sometimes later. It depends on the frequency of how much we interact with each other.
The only flaw is with taking so long to like a guy, is most assume you're not interested if you don't show interest in x amount of time. So they move on or friendzone me in the process 🤦♀️0|00|0Is this still revelant? - it all depends upon the guy ! I dated one guy one time and I just did not care for him at all ! I waited for him to contact me and he finally did by writing me a letter of which proved to me that he was to worldly for me to want to date again ! some men I can tell after one date that it will or won't work between us but other men it may take some time to figure them out ! however now I know what I want and do not want in a man ! so my next date is between God and him ! Thanks0|00|0Is this still revelant?
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181- For me, yes. I really want to get to know and befriend a guy first, because it takes developing a personal connection and getting to know someone for me to feel true attraction, and without attraction, I can't really date you.0|00|0
- I trust some faster than others so it could happen faster than 3 months but sexual attraction takes a long time for me - emotional attraction could happen in as little as 2 weeks.0|10|0
- I can tell fairly quickly. A week, if we talk during that time and interact, I can develop an interest and want to date him to find out more. There is no amount of time that will accurately show who the person is as some of them are really good at hiding it, also some people change a lot0|00|0
- I can’t “decide” to like him, I either do or I don’t. And I don’t need 3 months to get to know someone, I usually feel pretty comfortable with them and have a good idea of their general behavior after 3 or 4 days of continuous interaction. I’ll know if I like him or not around that point.1|10|0
- I need to know him for At least a year or two to know who he is. It depends on how much does he shows his true self.0|10|1
I am not dating somebody who isn't a friend. Period. If he don't like it he can move on. I date at my own time. Not his time. I don't go around chasing after men. I can live alone my whole life and not complain. And no, most guys do not show their true self in a month. 9/10x he wants sex and I am not having sex before marriage. His lost or gain. I'll be fine with or without him.
I've been single my entire life. I'm not rushing for some man. There are other guys who will wait. That's all. My focus is college and moving out of the country, have my career, home and doing what I got to do. If a man don't want to be my companion plenty he can screw with. If he can't wait why try dating me for? Only he's being the stupid one. A guy so wants to be there will be there. I don't use men and I am not having a man use me.
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That's selfish to say you do things on your time and not his, he might think the same way too. It's a stereo type to think men only want sex, big as this world, you never know, the great guys that you could find love at first sight. Please get over what ever bad relationship you had in the past. And loose the big headed talk thinking men are beneath you.
@Ghibli
How is that selfish? He can do what he wants what she will do anyway, and I got to do what I need to do. And first of all again I prefer to be a friend with somebody first. I'm not going to rush into any relationship that I don't know about. And if any person don't have respect for me on that level, then they don't have to date me. I never had once a relationship because of those ways an attitude human half. Thank God I never been in the bed relationship otherwise I would have. I don't have to have no big head, that means you have no respect for me as a person, and I don't need to date guys like you. There are guys who never had an attitude or problem with what I say. The guys that did mainly in it for sex. As a Christian unless he's one or willing to serve God and wait for marriage to have sex, and I am doing that or other sexual things before than. Period. So stop calling me selfish because it's selfish to assume that every woman has to cater to you sexually before marriage. Or that they had to date you because you ask.And besides I don't go around 4 that love First Sight thing. I had to develop a relationship with them. I Know Myself, and I don't need nobody trying to tell me who I am and not as a woman. God gets to decide that. And what I'm saying is not me having a stereotype or have been big headed. It's called having Authority and accountability over my life. This is very sad I guess like you basically want quick access to a woman's life thinking you're entitled.
Because if that's the case I could have easily treated you men like Commodities like you got do to women. I'm not here looking for an experienced. If I had chosen to date it would be for a permanent relationship that will lead to marriage. If you guys do not want something so serious, please seriously think about that before you want to say something so ignorant about a person.
I am allowed to pick who I choose, just like you are allowed to pick who you choose. Please don't try to tell me what a good man is in what is it a good man to me. Because I learned long and hard for nearly thirty years of my life what a good man and what a bad man is. And a good man to me is not a man of the world. But a man of a Godly heart and spirit. Your version of a good woman is more likely a person who want to keep outside of marriage as I'm pretty sure you have done. Thank God I didn't.
A man has every right to date at his own time too. I can respect that. If he isn't ready to date for 2 years let's say, who am I to judge? I can get to judge however, if he using his free time to screw around with women. If that's the case I dodged a bullet.
Is this about you being a feminist? A good man may don't necessary have do every single thing that it says in the Bible but he can not cheat, physical abuse you, rob a store, being a control freak, feeding homeless people, and taking care of his parents. So what if he did have sex before marriage, some people like to test the waters before swimming in it. Weddings are too expensive theses days. A guy doing it before marriage doesn't mean him wanting to have random sex with girls.
Don't you go putting yourself on a pedestal by looking down on couples who live together without being married to each other, that's their business.If you men want to be hoes, be hoes. I am not interested in a hoe.
"Don't you go putting yourself on a pedestal by looking down on couples who live together without being married to each other, that's their business." I don't. That's what you jealous people feel when others have their lives together and you don't. If you say it's their business, then they shouldn't advertise their business. But they do. So don't be a hypocrite. Plenty advertize on here."So what if he did have sex before marriage, some people like to test the waters before swimming in it." That's why they're miserable, turn to porn, cheating anyway, lust after other women and don't want to get married because they want to hop around like dogs. Sex is not a toy or a game. People like that are poor lovers and often end up with a disease and don't even know it.
"Weddings are too expensive theses days." So you mean to tell me you can't invest in at least $5-10k in a simple wedding with a few people? The same amount you spend on rent, loans, etc can be used in marriage. In fact, you can get married at the county hall if you cannot afford it now. No excuse. And then you can get a real wedding if you want all of that lavish stuff. Honesty.
"A guy doing it before marriage doesn't mean him wanting to have random sex with girls." Load of BS, because that is how so many end up unhappy in their marriages if the wife stops having sex for however long. And if she is the one being sexually neglected, nobody knows what she may be thinking no matter how innocent. Most marriages fail because of this and studies have proven that. The same way they are NOW showing studies that men are more happiness before marriage and after divorce. Come one! Sex is a MARRIAGE. If you think your sexual actions will affect the women your with, you're ignorant. I rather not be that woman that gives away my virginity and I yearn and attach myself to that one man I may NEVER have because of whatever reason and still be miserable or god forbid kill myself over it. Not worth it.I think you just want to be a golden prize for a guy to win you over after you rejected him at first so you can feel good about thinking a man can't live without you.
It's not about thinking sex is something to play around with, it's about being with a person you trust in a relationship, use your intuition.
When people have to pay bills, it makes weddings expensive. Boyfriend's and girlfriend's should save up on their money to buy them a better living situation if they're in a bad neighborhood, a car for transportation, bills and food, those are important things, once that's out the way, then work on funding for wedding.You have issues for thinking men are hoes, it's not about a man holding you back from your career dreams, it's about adding him to achievements.
Not everyone can afford a wedding like you, just because you have a white collar job that pays you bug salary money
"I think you just want to be a golden prize for a guy to win you over after you rejected him at first so you can feel good about thinking a man can't live without you." Why would I want to be the golden prize for anybody? Is that all you jealous people have to say to people like me because I want healthy living while you live like your not civilized people? I don't take pleasure in rejecting any guy. Never have, never will. I alwasy been honest and told them I perfer friendship and getting to know each other on a deeper level before taking a step for dating. Why should I take serious risk that will hurt me, hurt him and other people? Most of them just wanted to get into my pants and few of them even said 'good, continue to be one because there is not enough like you anymore.' Many of these guys who fooled around already are TIRED of such women. This is what they say, not what I say. I always tell them that they have no right to judge because they done the same thing that got them like that in the first place. Now if never did it and she does it anyway, he doesn't owe her anything. I look at how they treat people as well as they treat and view sex. Again, I am NOT dealing with a person who isn't godly or doesn't desire to serve my God. Period. I don't think I'm better than anybody. I am a respectful, gentle and kind person who at times have a hard time not being a people pleaser because that is who I am. Naturally. Something is wrong with you people.
"When people have to pay bills, it makes weddings expensive. Boyfriend's and girlfriend's should save up on their money to buy them a better living situation if they're in a bad neighborhood, a car for transportation, bills and food, those are important things, once that's out the way, then work on funding for wedding." Uh, yeah like nobody knows this. That's why my close friend before her divorce prepared for marriage since she was a teenager. She didn't wait for a guy to make up his mind about marriage. Either he wanted that with her or not. And many so far just fooled around with her emotions and called her crazy. They banged other girls and abused her. She never gave up on her dream. Her and her ex husband before they got married already had something set up where family and friends [HENCE why I always said DATE A FRIEND- NOT A STRANGER] helped them get a wedding settled. They knew the pastor at the church and he only set the price fo $5000. She was already working as an MA making good money and saved up while living at home with her mother. He was still living at home with his parents. Everybody chipped in. They spent no more than around 7 grand. For a wedding. And guess what. EVERYBODY they knew was in the hundreds and didn't know attended. They ONLUY invited close friends and family to the after-party at his house because they had a yard and such and then had their honeymoon afterward. Not so hard or expensive. That's why most rich people prepare a life for their children EARLY. Not later. You do not have t be dating to be preparing for the future. You people just waste time and other's time thinking you're entitled. When most people like myself just sought willing participants. How can I date a person who doesn't want to serve God, wait for marriage to have sex, slept around thinking they can teach ME about sex, which is not how sex works, and don't want marriage anyway? Really? You have to be dumb.
"You have issues for thinking men are hoes, it's not about a man holding you back from your career dreams, it's about adding him to achievements." I don't have issues for thinking men are hoes. You are if that's what you want to be. There are good men out there like i just met not too long ago who had issues with his mom because she thinks no different than you. But lost her virginity at 13, slept around with multiple men while married, dating and not, he doesn't know who his father is, been divorced 3x and have the nerve to tell him that he's WRONG for rejecting a girl or woman who isn't a virgin like him or wanting to wait for marriage to have sex? And he's not even RELIGOUS! THAT now is a man I would date. But he's too young for me and I'm celibate now. But if we were the same age bracket, yes I'll take somebody like that in a heartbeat as long as GOD approves the union and we're compatible in other areas. I would definitely work hard to maintain a relationship with that kind of person as with any man whether he was a virgin or not. All I have ever told them is that if your fornicating still STOP IT. If you are watching porn and masturbating, STOP IT. If they have no desire to stop, guess what? I won't get offended, I just wouldn't date them. That's all. I never strung men along. I am always honest.
"Not everyone can afford a wedding like you, just because you have a white collar job that pays you bug salary money" Wow, again. I wouldn't mind getting married on a farm as long as I am not having sex outside of marriage and we're truly committed to each other. I rather live off the land instead of living in a mansion that may god forbid get you bankrupt if you don't know what your investing. Goes to show me you have issues. You have so many insecurities and feel judged and convicted that there are women like me who do have STANDARDS. And now guys like you are so PISSED like that comic drawing of the geeky guy that girl turned down because he was a geek and the guy she held unto was a jock. Except once he got his life in order, he now rejects her because she's another baby mama with drama! The flip side is you guys reject me because I'm a so-called prude and 'religious', and you don't want me because I'm bored, too nice, etc, and now that I have enough self-RESPECT for myself to not worry cry and try to beg you men anymore, now your mad for your sexual choices affecting you now? Tough. I cherish and love any man who seeks to change from their ways. Even a guy like you. But you're too prideful and selfish to see where you are wrong. I don't intently break men's hearts. I feel their pain as my own. But I cannot control their actions and choices. I had opportunities too. But I said no because I believe that sex should be a pure and healthy experience for marriage. I refuse to open my legs and then complain about his size not big enough, doesn't satisfy enough, or he doesn't do it right. Or divorce and cheat for another man thinking they're better. WHY treat a man like that! Man, you are MORE than the size or status of your penis!
And I would NEVER treat a man like a money bank. But I refuse to be downgraded and disrespected because I wanted to be treated like a person and that guy wants me to dress up naked like a hoe with an apron on. That's you men's ideals because you're damaged by pornography. You don't love yourself enough. And feminism is only part of the problem. You men have so many problems that you attract the wrong kind of women, sleep with the wrong kind of women, then complain about the women you get, and then you seek somebody like me out later on. Like some girls do to good guys also. Your messed up. Okay, I'm not rich. I'm still at my parents place. I'm now just able to get to college because I want a better future for myself. I took care of my late mother who was sick since 19 to 23. Then I had to try to take care of myself because taht is how much I worked myself to death. I have 3 large dogs over 120 pounds I'm raising. AND a senior with Alzheimer's and dementia on top of that with a father who can barely take care of himself. I suffered. I am TIRED. And stressed to death! And is sick with problems that I can't even afford health insurance. So you people who try to shame me for being a 'good person' needs to shut up and look at yourselves! I would rather take a loath of bread than to expected a 5-star restaurant meal any day. I humbled myself because I worked for it. And neither would I expect a man to care for me if he doesn't want to. I never chased a man. Men always chased me against my wishes. I am at a point I no longer care for a man in my life. I am now building for myself and will live by myself since its a chore to ask for a man for basic needs. I now trust myself to handle things. This is what you men asked for. Not all women are the problem because of feminism. I prefer the 1920s family living over the so-called 2019 living any day. Sadly its a fantasy today to want it.
I have told them they can be part of my life. But they dodnf wamt to be there without screwing me first! You think im naive and STUPID? You guys have another thing coming. You don't see that as people who thinks like you with that mentality are starting to becoming to be a cancer to the Society. Women included. And I'm sick of it. I grew up with sports and dreams of having a family of my own. Now I no longer want it. And then if you meant that they no longer deserve it like some women don't deserve it for good men.
- For me it doesn’t take long for me to realise I like him can even happen in the first day. However I like to wait a few months of getting to know the boy before getting into a relationship so I’d say between 1 and 3 months or something0|20|0
- no, i've done it before just for one week and fortunately he also has the same feelings as me and then ended up dating :>0|00|0
- its different for everyone, for me it depends on when I feel comfortable0|00|0
Anonymous19 dPersonally I fall for every guy that I talk too... I'm trying to fix that but guys are just so perfect0|00|0- I would normally know within the first couple of hours meeting the guy. It doesn’t take long to know something like that haha1|10|0
This is very very interesting to me. I am not this way at all.
I mean, i find most women attractive so the interest is always there but the worthiness of me putting in effort is not revealed for months. Until then it's just "matched" energy.
- Probs a month of continuous interaction1|10|0
- Anonymous19 dDepends on how good of a guy he is.0|00|0
- Anonymous19 dno, within the first 15 minutes0|10|0
- nah maybe like 3 weeks to a month0|10|0
I mean I dont know which concept were talking about like for friends, hookups, longterm because I answered for longterm
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- Anonymous19 dNo lol, more like 3 hours1|20|0
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Because it takes me a long time to realize that there could be "relationship" potential. I'm interested in almost all women, but it's never really a logical thought process until many months after knowing her
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