If a guy messages a LOT for a LONG time, but then stops because you don’t want to date just yet, wad he never really that interested more than sex?

Question

I thought we were creating a bit of a friendship too, even though he knew I liked him. But then after I said I needed to sort some things out after a rough patch he talked for about a couple of weeks then completely stopped. Does that mean he was never really that interested or does it just mean he’s found a girl who he’s focussing all his attention on now?

Answer 1

worldscolide | 208 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

You shut him down, he doesn't want to wait on you to be ready to date, so he moved on.. I dont blame him, were i single, id do the same thing.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
Well sometimes circumstances aren’t ideal, it’s just a fact of life, not a case of not wanting too. Nobody would expect someone to wait, surely. Although some will wait regardless. But the question was, does that mean he ONLY wanted sex?
Asker

1 y
**to
worldscolide

1 y
i dunno honestly.. If it were me it would not just be about sex, it would be about the relationship and moving to the next level.. I dont know whats in his mind though..
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Asker

1 y
Okay fair enough.
worldscolide

1 y
yeah sorry im not very helpful here.
Asker

1 y
No worries
Asker

1 y
Sorry, could I just ask one more thing? Why would you not carry on talking as friends if you valued them?
worldscolide

1 y
because when i am interested in dating someone, i dont want second place.. Friendship is like the consolation prize.. Its accepting defeat.. So rather wasting my time with someone with whom i cannot have what i want i move on..
Asker

1 y
Ahh okay, that makes more sense. I just don't see it like that, if someone wasn't available but we had a connection I'd just grade it down to friendship and date elsewhere. I wouldn't take it as though they were lying and rejecting me in favour of someone else. Id hope people my age would be big enough ito value honesty by now.
worldscolide

1 y
i do value honesty, i just refuse to take a friendship when i want something else. I had this attitude through my entire life. If i could not get what i wanted, i would simply drop that person.. More often than not they came running back. My only response was " you had your chance"
Asker

1 y
I can see how you'd think that way while younger with more ego at play, but as I've got older I see friendship as more valuable now.
Asker

1 y
I suppose I'm diplomatic by nature though as well as nurturing and am big on compromising to make any kind of worthwhile relationships work.
worldscolide

1 y
i was like that until i met my wife. now i just dont care lol. in my life, the only thing worse than lying to me, is wasting my time.. I have a zero tolerance for either.
Asker

1 y
I say big, I really mean fair, which rarely leaves space for too much ego.
Asker

1 y
I don't define friendship as a waste of time. I have plenty of friends alongside a relationship personally.
Asker

1 y
Maybe that's the difference between men and women. Men tend to have juts their partner as their friend too?
worldscolide

1 y
its not an ego thing with me. I have more friends than i know what to do with, so if i show interest, and i get shut down, i have zero interest in going further.. I have not missed out because in extremely picky about my friends too.
Asker

1 y
To be fair if I were in a relationship again I likely wouldn't be as close with my guy friends either out of respect for my partner, but I'd still have them as friends, I wouldn't ignore them completely. This is what makes me think it was likely just sex for him.
worldscolide

1 y
Nah its just that men are the gender that gets rejected more often, If im rejected, i pick my self up, remove her from my life and move on.

Answer 2

Asker

Well sometimes circumstances aren’t ideal, it’s just a fact of life, not a case of not wanting too. Nobody would expect someone to wait, surely. Although some will wait regardless. But the question was, does that mean he ONLY wanted sex?

Answer 3

worldscolide

i dunno honestly.. If it were me it would not just be about sex, it would be about the relationship and moving to the next level.. I dont know whats in his mind though..

Answer 4

Asker

Okay fair enough.

Answer 5

worldscolide

yeah sorry im not very helpful here.

Answer 6

Asker

No worries

Answer 7

Asker

Sorry, could I just ask one more thing? Why would you not carry on talking as friends if you valued them?

Answer 8

worldscolide

because when i am interested in dating someone, i dont want second place.. Friendship is like the consolation prize.. Its accepting defeat.. So rather wasting my time with someone with whom i cannot have what i want i move on..

Answer 9

Asker

Ahh okay, that makes more sense. I just don't see it like that, if someone wasn't available but we had a connection I'd just grade it down to friendship and date elsewhere. I wouldn't take it as though they were lying and rejecting me in favour of someone else. Id hope people my age would be big enough ito value honesty by now.

Answer 10

worldscolide

i do value honesty, i just refuse to take a friendship when i want something else. I had this attitude through my entire life. If i could not get what i wanted, i would simply drop that person.. More often than not they came running back. My only response was " you had your chance"

Answer 11

Asker

I can see how you'd think that way while younger with more ego at play, but as I've got older I see friendship as more valuable now.

Answer 12

Asker

I suppose I'm diplomatic by nature though as well as nurturing and am big on compromising to make any kind of worthwhile relationships work.

Answer 13

worldscolide

i was like that until i met my wife. now i just dont care lol. in my life, the only thing worse than lying to me, is wasting my time.. I have a zero tolerance for either.

Answer 14

Asker

I say big, I really mean fair, which rarely leaves space for too much ego.

Answer 15

Asker

I don't define friendship as a waste of time. I have plenty of friends alongside a relationship personally.

Answer 16

Asker

Maybe that's the difference between men and women. Men tend to have juts their partner as their friend too?

Answer 17

worldscolide

its not an ego thing with me. I have more friends than i know what to do with, so if i show interest, and i get shut down, i have zero interest in going further.. I have not missed out because in extremely picky about my friends too.

Answer 18

Asker

To be fair if I were in a relationship again I likely wouldn't be as close with my guy friends either out of respect for my partner, but I'd still have them as friends, I wouldn't ignore them completely. This is what makes me think it was likely just sex for him.

Answer 19

worldscolide

Nah its just that men are the gender that gets rejected more often, If im rejected, i pick my self up, remove her from my life and move on.

Answer 20

Jamie05rhs | 364 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

He probably actually liked you. But he gave up because he thought you rejected him.

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1 Person

If a guy messages a LOT for a LONG time, but then stops because you don’t want to date just yet, wad he never really that interested more than sex?

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