Friendship/dating?

Question

So this is just a question of sorts. So I’m 29 and in school. Oh yeah baby getting that bachelor degree 😂. So I’m currently friends with this women I work with and she literally just got in a relationship.

Usually I stay clear from such interaction for many reasons. Why? Cuz I’ll flirt. I respect relationships and I don’t wanna mess it up. So I’ve been distancing her.

Tragically, she noticed. Tbh I don’t know why she wants to be my friend... she knows I got mad feels for her and she just got into a relationship.

So I told my grandma, cuz she been with my grandpa for too many years. She said, “What’s wrong being friends? She probably wants to get to know you.”

I told her that she was seeing someone and my grandma just laughed. She ended up telling me nothing was wrong with her tryna get to know me. It’s gets bad when you start crossing lines.

I just wanna know if this is just a new thing or has this kind of form been happening for a while. Cuz if I had a girl I wouldn’t want her getting friendly with some guy that likes her...

Answer 1

homie3112

Xper 5

I havehad experience with having a friend that likesme and vice versa. You can be a good person, just not suited to be an intimate partner. You wouldn't want to lose one of your friends if they thought let's move in together and you just want space, would you? It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Respect her relationship. As a person that has been in your spot, caring deeply does not have to be romantic. I actually fell in love with my friend, but it would hurt to much to lose him. Eventually, I moved on (took a while). He's now my best friend. I met my SO through him. Sex and romance isn't all that has to be between a guy and a girl, it's not all or nothing.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
Facts. I do agree with everything you said. I do plan on getting into a relationship soon. Even tho I do want it to be with her. It just sucks that I actually like her

Answer 2

Asker

Facts. I do agree with everything you said. I do plan on getting into a relationship soon. Even tho I do want it to be with her. It just sucks that I actually like her

Answer 3

Hangry22

Guru

I am not like her. No use in spending time in getting to know a guy who likes you when you have a man

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1 Person

Answer 4

Cyfris

Xper 5

Don't ever limit your happiness at the expense of others that are not family or similar. You are not her keeper and what she choses to do or not do while in a relationship is on her. gam gam is right though. Just don't cross the line in the sand and make it clear you won't while she is in a relationship.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I never do. I don’t just become someone’s friends to literally get with them. If anything I become their friends cuz they peeked interests. I do wanna know more about her, but it’s hard 🤦🏽‍♂️
Cyfris

1 y
It's not hard unless you make it so. if your uncomfortable with the idea obviously don't do it but no harm no foul man. just don't kid yourself. boy don't just become friends with girls to be friends. it always because we hope for more in one way or another,. i have never in my whole life heard a guy say man i just met this chick and she so great we chugged beers and we laughed and we joked and i'm so happy that we can just like be friends ya no not like have to worry about sex or relationships. shakespeare said boys and girls cannot remain just friends. and he's right more often then wrong there in my experience. someone always catches the feels. so if your goal is friends your fucked. but if your honest and want more there is no harm keeping the field sown and seed planted incase the rains come and there is room for something to grow.

Answer 5

Asker

I never do. I don’t just become someone’s friends to literally get with them. If anything I become their friends cuz they peeked interests. I do wanna know more about her, but it’s hard 🤦🏽‍♂️

Answer 6

Cyfris

It's not hard unless you make it so. if your uncomfortable with the idea obviously don't do it but no harm no foul man. just don't kid yourself. boy don't just become friends with girls to be friends. it always because we hope for more in one way or another,. i have never in my whole life heard a guy say man i just met this chick and she so great we chugged beers and we laughed and we joked and i'm so happy that we can just like be friends ya no not like have to worry about sex or relationships. shakespeare said boys and girls cannot remain just friends. and he's right more often then wrong there in my experience. someone always catches the feels. so if your goal is friends your fucked. but if your honest and want more there is no harm keeping the field sown and seed planted incase the rains come and there is room for something to grow.

Answer 7

MecheD

Xper 7

Well granny is amazing for that , fact is you could still be friends but the thing is have you gained a connection that has nothing to do with being exclusive and dating? If so you’ll be fine. Just care for her like a person your not interested in.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
Yes, we do have a connection and it’s nice, but when I found out she was seeing someone I didn’t feel like it was right to continue 🤦🏽‍♂️ I mean, yes; I do like her but not in the expense of her relationship
MecheD

1 y
It doesn’t have to cost her relationship as long as she and you both can keep it cool my guy. If you had a partner and she had a guy friend whether or not you liked it you can’t control another human being a relationship is built on trust so you would have to trust her and the same goes for your friend and her situation.

Answer 8

Asker

Yes, we do have a connection and it’s nice, but when I found out she was seeing someone I didn’t feel like it was right to continue 🤦🏽‍♂️ I mean, yes; I do like her but not in the expense of her relationship

Answer 9

MecheD

It doesn’t have to cost her relationship as long as she and you both can keep it cool my guy. If you had a partner and she had a guy friend whether or not you liked it you can’t control another human being a relationship is built on trust so you would have to trust her and the same goes for your friend and her situation.

Answer 10

Anonymous

If you are currently friends, I don’t see why break a friendship. Just be respectful.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I always am I wouldn’t dare put her in a situation where she feels like she’s having to make that decision

Answer 11

Asker

I always am I wouldn’t dare put her in a situation where she feels like she’s having to make that decision

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