I always do the asking. Revese gender roles I guess?

Question

I always do the asking. Revese gender roles I guess?

Xper 6

so I pretty much initiate everything with this guy I've liked for awhile, were friends but I even have to start conversations. my mom thinks that since I always do the asking I should give up on him. I get annoyed by it sometimes but it doesn't bug me to much so I never really thought it was a problem. well my mom seems to think that I need to stop chasing him ( I wouldn't even call it that) she thinks he either doesn't feel that way or is to used to me doing all the effort. when I talk to him it doesn't seem like he doesn't like me. so I'm pretty much just confused here. why wouldn't he at least start a conversation with me? and does it really matter if a girl does that asking? I always thought he acted this way cause were teenagers and pretty clueless about relationships and stuff.

3

1

Most Helpful Guys

Dragondude42
Xper 5

+1 y

Just because he doesn't start stuff doesn't me he isn't interested. He could be clueless, or scared, or unsure if you like him. Or he may be used to you initiating everything.

I suggest trying to get him to pick up the slack and take some initiative. Tell him to call you. (maybe say that you want to hang out, and tell him to call you when he thinks of something to do) Or make him pick the topic of your next conversation.

Just a thought.

0|0

0|0
Is this still revelant?
- cuteLiLbunny
  
  +1 y
  ok I'll try that, although I think it'd be clear that I like him I asked him on a date once and to two dances
- Dragondude42
  
  +1 y
  Young guys are often clueless. I didn't know that this one girl liked me, even though she thought she was making it very clear. I didn't figure it out until we got talking about who we liked and she refused to tell me who, but then freaked out when I playfully said "well, it's obviously not me".

Most Helpful Girl

Anonymous

+1 y

Maybe the dude is just slow but your mom is right don't Chase after a man because if you have to work hard to get him then your gonna have to work even harder to keep him. There's nothing wrong with making the first move just let him know you want him to do so every now and then.

0|0

0|1
Is this still revelant?
- cuteLiLbunny
  
  +1 y
  but what if he's worth chasing?
- Opinion Owner
  
  +1 y
  If a guy can't see your worth it then your bending over backwards for nothing

What Girls & Guys Said

01

ognioenirekjnvie
Xper 1

+1 y

your mom is just being old fashioned. but IF you are ALWAYS the one to initiate, let him know that you'd like him to initiate sometimes. he's either shy or doesn't want to drive you away by. he's trying to keep cool.

blame these stupid ass dating "rules" that society forces on us. just talk to him and you'll get to the bottom of it, because honestly, you're not going to get any answers here. the girls on this site generally prefer to sit back and wait for everything to come to them.

0|1

0|0
- cuteLiLbunny
  
  +1 y
  i was thinking of just asking and/or being blunt but I'm still not entirely sure how to do that or even bring any of this up.
- ognioenirekjnvie
  
  +1 y
  no, no... you have it right. just be blunt about it. you two are not new to each other. just text him right now "hey, I've been thinking... why do you never initiate talking to me sometimes? it's starting to make me feel a little unwanted". just please... take that advice.. right now. and you'll be thanking me. I'm a guy and I'm older than you, lol so I know how this will turn out.
- cuteLiLbunny
  
  +1 y
  one problem, he never gave me his cell phone number...so would Facebook or in person work? or is it not the same effect. also he just told me today he can't go to homecoming so should I give it a few days so its not weird?
- Show All Show Less
- ognioenirekjnvie
  
  +1 y
  wait, wait, wait... you don't have his number? I thought you to were dating or something. are you guys dating? this might make me change my answer. I quickly read your comment to the other guy and thought that you've been on a date and to two dances with him.
- cuteLiLbunny
  
  +1 y
  well I don't think its dating offically, its complicated, he came to my birthday, went to the sadie hawkins dance with me, I went to his party (only a select few were invited not sure if that matters) asked him to go on a date with me he said yes, went on second date (it was exactly the same as the first but not totally sure it was clear to him it was a date, was gonna go on double date with him but it got cancelled, I just asked him to homecoming not to long ago and today he said he wasn't goin
- ognioenirekjnvie
  
  +1 y
  oh damn... I see. I suggest you distance yourself from him. I'm not for all the gender roles, tests, and mind games bullshet, but this seems awfully familiar. I think he's only talking to you and hanging out with you when it's convenient for him. I really don't think he's all that interested if you guys haven't even traded numbers AND he NEVER initiates. don't be discouraged from initiating with guys (especially quiet ones) though, this RARELY happens.
- cuteLiLbunny
  
  +1 y
  well he has my cell number (I think) and I have his home, but I see your point. most of this stuff was all at the begining of summer, everything got weird after not seeing him for over a month since he went away, then when school started I was super busy. it wasn't a good time for me to I couldn't talk to him much. does this change anything?

Related myTakes

Prejudice really needs to stop and I have a solution

Is this The One?

Why you shouldn't participate in the Christmas Shoebox program.

The World is Now Bat-Shit Crazy

Parahacker Xper 3 · Accepted Answer

Here's the thing - do you two have common interests? See the world the same way? Do you both want the same things? Like the same jokes, go to the same places?

What sort of stuff do you get involved in? Sports, arts, etc? Are you passionate about them? Can you communicate it?

What's he into? Anything you might like too?

Do be open to new things, but like them for their own sake.

And if he's someone you like overall, then your best bet is to just be interesting and let the pressure off. Say interesting things, be funny and informed and welcoming. When/if he shows interest in that then ask him out again - but wait for him to do that.

I always do the asking. Revese gender roles I guess?

Most Helpful Guys

Most Helpful Girl

Related Questions

What Girls & Guys Said

Related myTakes