+1 y

"Slowing things down" pretty long but need advice.

Things have started to get complicated. I started university a month ago and met this guy 'joe' and we really hit it off (now consider him one of my best friends) but there was a lot of tension. A week in we made out and ever since we've been doing stuff on a kind of friends with benefits level and keeping it between ourselves. On Tuesday he went to a party with my flatmate 'ben', got pretty hammered and made out with another girl (basically overheard someone talk to him about it, he was aware I could hear and he seemed concious of what he was saying). I left the kitchen where this was happening and went to my room. Ten minutes later he knocks and says we should talk but then I said that there's no need and I don't have a right to say anything and we left it there. Then last night we went out drinking as a flat, my friend 'bella' pulled me aside and said that she can tell something was going on between us and I should get in there before that other girl does. In the club I told him that 'bella' had cottoned on and he told me 'ben' knew, he had asked him about it Tuesday.

Then, when we got home we went to his room for a 'talk'. Basically he said that we should slow things down, he doesn't want to hurt me because he really values my friendship and that if we were to carry on and went into a relationship it would be inevitable that he'd do something wrong or find a way of unintentionally hurting me. He also said that he felt awful because he's already "betrayed my trust" by snogging that other girl. Basically, he wanted to stop all our friends with benefits stuff but then he kept kissing me and cuddling me and was just really sweet to me... I ended up staying at his for the night. Then this morning he asked me what I wanted to do and I basically said I don't know and he said it's for the best that we stop now and just be friends so I just agreed. He said 'I have to think about stuff', kissed me on the cheek, gave me a massive hug and I left.

Now, I don't know what to think. Every time he said we should break it off and I agreed he'd kind of backtrack on what he said and when I argued his point he'd push his point further. I can't stop thinking about him and want nothing more than to just go his room and just hang out and be with him but I know I can't.

What do you make of the situation and what do you think he means? is he trying to fight the urge to be with me or never wanted to be with me? I don't think I've ever been so confused.
"Slowing things down" pretty long but need advice.
Add Opinion