Give me GOOD reasons why you won't ask out a guy instead?

Question

Give me GOOD reasons why you won't ask out a guy instead?

Anonymous

There are girls on here who are awesome and would do the asking out, but there are others who cling to the notion that the guy HAS to do it. So they choose to wait, and if the guy doesn't do it, they give up without a fight. Well if YOU liked the guy ask him out.

But let's hear all the reasons for you to NOT do that. I bet most of them are things men can argue too.

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Most Helpful Girls

missxbrightside
Xper 6

+1 y

I won't ask a guy out because:

1) I'd get nervous (what if he doesn't like me) leading to:

2) Fear of rejection (I'm a pretty confident person but I don't think I'd be good with getting rejected by a guy because of my confidence. In the past I've been told multiple "oh hey so and so likes you" and I was like oh cool. I've gotten used to hearing that some people like me so I think if I were to be rejected it would kind of ruin my mind set... Ergo, I don't ask a guy out so I won't get rejected. It sounds superficial and shallow now that I read it, but it's the best way I can describe it. I have confidence, and I don't really think of myself as too GOOD for some guys, it's just that if I were to be rejected... I guess you could say it would hurt my ego. Yeah that basically sums it up much easier)

3) When a guy asks you out at least you know he's interested

4) Reading this over, I realize that when it comes to guys, I'm not much of a risk taker.

4 reasons. done. hahaha

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  And all of these things are things guys can argue too, and yet it's still up to the guy to 'get over their fear' and ask them out. It's extremely hypocritical.
  
  So when a girl won't ask a guy out, are we to assume she's not interested? We like to know she's interested too.
- missxbrightside
  
  +1 y
  but your question was why girls won't ask a guy out... I didn't think this was comparing guys and girls. either way, yeah it's true that it's hypocritical. but also, (it sounds .. meeh) it was how it's been done traditionally. until things start to change socially, "expectations" won't change either.
  
  to answer your question, no. not at all. and that's what flirting is for. flirting lets the guy know that a girl is interested.
13johnro
Xper 2

+1 y

Scared of rejection is typically. Unlike myself I ALWAYS end up asking the guy out. I actually can't recall the last time a man asked me out lol. But typically my friends always use the excuse that they couldn't bare the humiliation of rejection. But whatever. Interesting question. I've wondered it as well (:

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Most Helpful Guys

styles_clash
Xper 2

+1 y

Girls are only bitches to the guys they don't want asking them out. That or..if they think the guy they want, asked them in the "wrong way"

Otherwise, it's just because they think the man should do it. It's sort of been that way for the longest time. Most girls don't realize it's the 21st century and they're allowed to do the asking.

If they're not asking, they're not confident

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- peace-love-couture
  
  +1 y
  I'll admit...the first part of your first sentence, slightly true. I've been a bitch and I'm not proud of it because being asked out is flattering and takes courage, unless it's a douchey way of doing so i.e, whistling, cat calls, "yo mama" or some ghetto, moronic way of approaching a female.
- styles_clash
  
  +1 y
  Being a bitch is the only way a guy knows to TOTALLY back off...if you're "nice" to us after rejecting us, we think we still have a shot
- peace-love-couture
  
  +1 y
  Well, he got mad at me afterwards..so it wasn't so good
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- styles_clash
  
  +1 y
  If he's getting mad at you, you were never really friends. Friends don't get mad at each other, right?
kheserthorpe
Master

+1 y

Young attractive women don't have to. They set up shop and wait for guys to show up.

Older women are more likely to ask. This is because they've 'matured'. Also because they aren't being hit on all day.

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What Girls & Guys Said

83

peace-love-couture
Yoda

+1 y

I would ask a guy out, I'm just more traditional in that sense and believe the guy should do the asking first.

From my experiences being asked out, the guy has almost always done it. The guys have asked me out. And from many of the relationships I know(couples I'm friends with), the guy asked the girl out. For instance, a couple of dudes asked girls out at homecoming football games in front of everyone.

I'd like to know why the guys on here expect girls to play the role of guys in the relationship.

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  I don't expect the girl to be the man in the relationship, but guys can be just as shy and unconfident as the girls are when it comes to asking them out, and yet girls expect the guy to get over that and ask them out. With girls I guess they feel they don't have to get over that and pin the responsibility on the guy.
- peace-love-couture
  
  +1 y
  Well for every dude who is unwilling to ask a girl out that he likes there's a million more who would. Fear of rejection isn't a new concept or new idea and I think guys on girlsaskguys need to get that through their heads.
  
  As someone below mentioned, girls and guys should ask out whoever they're interested in. Yes, that includes YOU.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  I know it's not a NEW concept hence this question. Girls cling to these old traditions that aren't applicable anymore in the 21st century.
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- peace-love-couture
  
  +1 y
  They are applicable. Just ask the millions of men who are in relationships who did the asking. So are girls supposed to ask now? Because you're too scared to ask?
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Are girls NOT supposed to ask because they're to scared to ask?
- peace-love-couture
  
  +1 y
  Of course they should ask if they want. Plenty of guys are willing to do the approaching firsthand
  
  And why do you assume girls are too scared to approach guys. Could it simply be a case of not being interested in the first place?
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  That's just what I see from girls on here when they ay why they won't approach a guy. To be clear I have done the asking out in my past with mixed results, I just kept wondering why I feel like I gotta do all the work while the girl just get to sit there?
notluckywithlove
Xper 4

+1 y

I wish I had good reason for not being able to ask out a guy but I don't, and I don't have a reason that a guy won't be able to argue as well. I don't ask guys out because I'm self concious and extreamly shy, plus I have a fear of rejection..so yeah not the best reason ever..but..it's all I've got. I woudn't give up without a fight though if I really liked the guy, there's somethings worth fighting for no matter what =)

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madmisskelly
Guru

+1 y

I've done a lot of pursuing before, and its pretty neat to have that power.

However, sometimes its really nice to be pursued. Sometimes its nice wondering when the guy will ask you out, or that moment when he finally gets the courage to ask you out sometime. Sometimes I pursue so much that I forget what its like to be pursued and its really cool to have a guy after you and actually TRYING.

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hayleyq
Xper 2

+1 y

well what I have learned is when were single they don't want us but when we are not they do

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Same can be said the other way around too.
Da-One-n-Only- | 2.8K opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Master

+1 y

Because of the rejection I would say or they believe in the whole old school stuff.

Personally I don't have a problem with it, I learned if you want something you gotta make it happen no more of the whole what if.. Or doubts for me

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Mr_Solo_Dolo | 219 opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Yoda

+1 y

Some say because guys are douchebags whenever they've tried asking them out and other girls are shy.

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Girls are bitches whenever guys ask them out sometimes, and guys can also be shy
- Mr_Solo_Dolo
  
  +1 y
  Yep, I agree. So I think guys and girls should both do the asking out if they're really interested.
stevo2
Xper 2

+1 y

It's always been the guys job to ask the girl out, although, it's not uncommon for a girl to ask a guy out, it's rare, but it's happened. And they have no desire to risk rejection just as we don't.

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moviedude714 | 1.9K opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Master

+1 y

it's human nature to not bothering doing something that you don't have to do

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lovelovelove8
Xper 4

+1 y

okay, the if the girl is interested, she will initiate a friendship,. after that, if the guy is interested, he has to ask her out. it's only fair.

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Huh? initiating the friendship is not the same as asking someone out.
defytraditiongirl | 377 opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Yoda

+1 y

tradition, they are used to the guys doing it

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  BS reason.
- defytraditiongirl
  
  +1 y
  well I ask guys out, I see nothing wrong with it
ixi10
Master

+1 y

the same reason you won't, rejection

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udolipixie | 968 opinions shared on Flirting topic. Guru · Accepted Answer

Ok girls, give me GOOD reasons why you won't ask out a guy instead?

1. Don't want to be seen as desperate

Going against societal/gender rules the girl is usually seen as being defective or highly unwanted to have to pursue guys

2. Don't want to be seen as a slut

Going against societal/gender rules the girl is often seen as being just after sex since:

guys go on attraction & the girl will ensure he takes her personality in check before sex.

girls go on attraction & the guy will go on attraction. so girls approaching guys just want sex.

3. Don't want to be seen as unfeminine

Going against societal/gender rules the girl is often seen as taking the guys role thus unfeminine.

After all a girl seen as approaching a guy is often label aggressive.

4. Don't want to be seen as easy/lesser quality

Most guys want a girl that's easy for them to get but hard for other guys to get. Yet if she makes it easy for them they start wondering how easy it is for other guys. Most girls don't want a guy to think of them as lesser quality.

Sort of like sleeping with a guy on the first date plenty will think well if it's easy for me then it's easy for other guys and dismiss her as easy/not girlfriend material.

Give me GOOD reasons why you won't ask out a guy instead?

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