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There is something that makes him push me away after a few weeks.

I've been on and off with a guy for a couple of years now. When he is "connected" things are great, we are close and I love him, however there is something that makes him push me away after a few weeks.

According to himself it's because he "just doesn't want me". I've tried to accept this, but he tends to come back agan and so I've started to dig a little to find out what this is really about.

And here comes the weird part: When telling me why I'm "not good enough for him", he says it's because I'm NOT x, y and z; x and y being how everyone who knows me _would_ describe me (traits I, too, LIKE about myself), and z is traits who NO-ONE has, i.e. 100% honesty and never a white lie in order to protect someones feelings. (Which is also very weird, because I am also known for being very honest both with myself and others, and _rarely_ come up with white lies compared to many others. But according to him I'm "not as honest as he is" - and I'm starting to think can't be very honest, with himself nor me, especially not about his intentions, feelings and reasons.)

- It's as if he's trying to make me doubt who I am, or doesn't want me to feel good about myself. Otherwise, there are plenty of other traits that do _not_ describe me, that he could have used instead as a reason, but he doesn't. Which makes it seem like crazymaking.

Today I asked him straight out: Why don't you want me to feel good about myself? He said "But I do!" I: "But why then, do you do [the above]?" He: "We have different opinions, deal with it". I tried to tell him how other people have a very different opinion and asked why he can't just give me the pleasure of feeling seen and liked by him, as opposed to demonstrating so very hard that "I'm not good enough for him. He completely shut down.

I wonder if it also could have something to do about some "delusional" thoughts he gets from time to time: That I'm spoiled, have never been dumped before, used to getting what I want and a lot of things that couldn't be further from the truth - he even knows that the not being seen and understood/rejected and accused for what I'm not-thing (in childhood) has left some very deep wounds in me which I have spent years working through.

I have tried to tell him that hypercritical people makes me feel vulnerable and defensive, which explains why I'm not "open" and "calm" all the time, but he's unable to connect the dots.

His dad killed himself thirteen years ago, he was bullied in school before that. He is over 30 but has never had a girlfriend, as he considers himself extremely picky. (He is not popular either, actually he is very "nerdy" and Asperger's-like. Which I don't mind, I just think it's weird how he seems to be placing himself above others as if he is better or something. Honestly, although I don't like to think about it this way, I am out of his league. If I psychologize it I can see this is a compensation for feeling helpless before or feeling inferior, but he just denies it.
+1 y
My question being: WHY is he doing that, and what can I I about it?
+1 y
Edit: My question being: WHY is he doing that, and what can I DO about it?
There is something that makes him push me away after a few weeks.
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