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What's the difference between flirting and being nice?

I have realized recently that the way I interact with guys is in rather a flirty type of banter. however, I rarely have the flirty intention behind it. usually if I actually want to flirt with a guy, I get too nervous to do it right. but the downside is, the guy friends' girlfriends and other girls tend to get annoyed with me probably because of it, but I honestly don't know how to turn it off.

so I was wondering if anyone else has this problem?
What's the difference between flirting and being nice?
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