Men, if you have feelings for a woman, why ignore her?

I can tell my Ex still has feelings for me since we didn't get a chance to have a real relationship and I moved to another state. When we talk, he says he misses me and when I'm visiting I can tell his feelings are still there as well as mine. But when I return home, its like he falls off the face of the earth. I hear nothing from him. Often times I have to text him first. I refuse to contact him any further. So is he lying, or are my senses wrong? Or is it because I'm so far away? Why not hit me up every now and then? I don't get it.

Ok, so I finally texted him yesterday out of curiosity and I didn't get much of anything. I said "Hey, stranger, just checking to see you're still alive because I nvr hear from u." He responded saying he was working on some big project. I told him that was awesome and sounds exciting. I nvr got a response or a "Thnx for asking" or a "How are you" that showed me he doesn't give a damn. I'm done sitting around waiting and looking stupid. I thought that was pretty sh*tty!
Oh yeah, it makes me mad because he acts as if we nvr done the do before, which we did a couple months ago during my visit. That makes me upset.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm obviously not a guy, but I have a bad habit of ignoring the guy I have feelings for, because I'm afraid of rejection and being vulnerable and transparent. It's counter-productive, but a defense mechanism I can't help.

    Go with your gut on this one. Do you really believe he has feelings for you or is it wishful thinking? Odds are, unless he's a total d***, he probably really does miss you when he says he misses you.

    Guys aren't exactly raised to be in-tune with their feelings and wear them on their sleeves, either. So it could very well be that he isn't quite sure how to handle them. Heck, I'm a girl and I still have a hard time sorting out what I feel, and it's not as taboo (for lack of a better word) for me to share my feelings than it would be if I were male. Unfortunate, but true.

    • I guess I nvr thought about it that way. And yeah, he's not a jerk, he's a real sweet guy, but I've lived in another state for almost 4 years now, so I try and keep that in consideration as well.

    • Ahh that could be another factor, too: the distance. LDRs are tricky and he may very well realize that. He could be wary of starting anything with you because you live out of state, so he shuts off emotionally when you're around.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It would be great if a couple's strong feelings for each other were enough to solidify and sustain a relationship, but sadly, they are not. There are other factors involved, not the least of which is how often they are able to see each other. In your case, I'm sure his feelings for you are very strong, but you live so far apart that it's not really possible to sustain a long-term relationship.

  • Maybe it doesn't hurt as much that way.

    • Hmmm...possibly.

    • I've done that before (to a certain extent). If your feelings for someone are unrequited or you feel like there's no future there, sometimes that seems like the best way to get over them. It's an out of sight, out of mind sort of thing. Your situation could be different, of course. I don't know much about it.

    • Make sense. I'll try and post a little background. I had too many characters, so I have to shorten it

What Girls Said 1

  • well the guy I had a thing with...we went to school together and he liked me and then stopped gave me the cold shoulder...and then a year later liked me again and would try to talk to me again and then as soon as id try to get closer and ask him out he'd get scared and disappear for the rest of the year again then next year it'd start all over again

    u probably figured out the ending: I MOVED ON.

    if a man can't make up his mind and figure out his feelings, then he obviously has a conflict with himself. and I'm not an object to be played with and stand around and wait for him forever. I gave him a piece of my mind and never looked back. he had so many chances he lost them.

    • I dnt know how I missed this answer the other day. I'm just now seeing it. Yeah, you are so right. I'm tired of hoping. I need to probably move on. I,m 26, and I'm done wasting time. I know that's still young, but I do want to get married and have children one day, so I cnt play the guessing game anymore