Does having sex with a guy make him like you?

[Jarett]

For my first question ever on this site, I thought I'd ask a question I already know the answer to. Every day, there are numerous girls asking if having sex with a guy on the first or 2nd date was too early. Can I give you a hint? HAVING SEX WITH A GUY WILL NOT MAKE HIM LIKE YOU! Stop being stupid and naive. If the guy is just looking for sex, then guess what, you're going to be used for sex. If the guy is looking for a girlfriend, then having sex with him on the first couple dates will make him lose respect for you. You won't know whether he likes you or if he just wants sex. When you have sex with a guy on the first or second, you're basically slotting yourself below him, trying to "earn" his love. And when you do this, you appear desperate, and the guy who might have been looking for a relationship, will now see your weakness, and will take advantage of you. You have basically made the decision for him on whether you're girlfriend material or just good for a roll in the hay. Why would a guy "buy the cow, when he can get the milk for free?" Guys do not respect girls who have sex on the first date. If they respected you, they would wait. I'm not anti sex, I'm not telling you to wait until you're married. If you're just out for sex, then do whatever you want. But if you're a girl, and you really like a guy, DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM. If he likes you, he likes you. If he doesn't, having sex with him will not make him like you, it will just make you get used, and make your value go down. And I'm sure I'm going to get blasted by guys, but that's ok. I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to help people out. So all you girls out here that think you can sex a guy into liking you. YOU CAN'T! Why not have a guy like you for WHO YOU ARE, not for YOUR BODY, or WHAT YOU WILL DO SEXUALLY? How's that for my first question?

[Da-One-n-Only-]

Congrats on ur first question,you've made a very good point about it.

To tell you the truth I did think that the guy I liked would like me more if we had sex.I know he was attracted to me but I thought by giving myself up to him would make him like me more.Nothing happened between us,because at one point he even told me.That he wanted to do more and I told him we weren't even anything to be doing more and he didn't make a move He said I was right and he didn't want to do something that I didn't want to do.I didn't know if he was being nice about it or it was a way of saying oh okay whatever.We really never spoke after that moment he forgot about me and never talked to me again. He got a girl a wk after that and she dumped him so basically what he did to me she did to him. Now I 've moved on and I really really like one of my guy friends.He's had sex before but he seems to really like the fact that I'm still a virgin,he says that's hard to believe but I don't know we just to c what happens. I am sexually attracted to him as well and I don't know what to do about that.He does like me too but there's a little problem there nothing big but I can see me losing my v to him.I don't know what to do about that so if you like to give me some adive about that really apprcaite it. Once again good stated question give you a lot of props.

[Jarett]

First off, I'm not here here to play moral police and tell people when and when not to have sex. But your story proves what I'm talking about. If you think you can have sex with a guy to make him like you, you're in for some heartbreak. But to answer your question, let me ask you this. If you lost your virginity to him, and a week later he broke up with you, would you regret losing your virginity to him?

[Da-One-n-Only-]

I'm not in any rush to have sex honestly,it just come to my head that it would b nice losing it to him.Yeah but I still didn't give it up to anone so give me some credit about it.=].To answer ur question I hope ur talking about the current guy I like..would I regret it I think I would.But once again Jarett I'm not in any rush to lose my v to anyone I have thought about it.

[Jarett]

Well you're young and you have plenty of time. I think it's always better to error on the safe side, then to make a mistake and get used.

[Da-One-n-Only-]

True..im not ganna do it with the first guy that comes my way (knocking on wood)or else I would of done it with the first idiot.But I've known the second one since middle school and he's a sweetheart I kind of know him but you can't ever know someone a 100% he would b a good guy to lose it to but I don't know time will tell.

[Jarett]

Well good luck. Just be smart haha :o)

[HaggardDiva]

Okay, first of all, I'm not really sure that there really was a question here. I mean there are several question marks but a lot of them you answered yourself, and the last one is seemingly rhetorical. So, am I missing it somewhere, are you acutely unaware that you never actually asked an already unanswered question, or is that the point, there really wasn't a question but it was intended to draw, especially girls, in to learn your insight?

Next, why would you get blasted by guys for what you said? From what I saw, it was fairly common knowledge amongst the male gender, so it's not as if you were generalizing something that wasn't fitting to the majority of men. Or was the problem you were expecting, that you were letting out something that some men may consider a secret? (The "let her think if she sleeps with me we'll be closer" tactic that some men use to get a piece of ass.)

If I'm answering the question in the title bar I would say: No.

PS None of my questions were rhetorical.

[Jarett]

Lol no, I wasn't really asking a question. I was more or less stating a point by asking a question that I was answering lol.

[HaggardDiva]

Okay, so when do you think it's been long enough for a girl to allow herself to sleep with a guy that's she interested in and isn't looking to lose?

[Jarett]

Well if you have to ask, "Does he like me, or is he just using me for sex," then it's too early. There is nothing wrong with going too slow. The whole point of dating is to get to know the person, and find out who that person is, what they stand for, and what they want in life. I honestly can't give you a time frame on when she should give it up. But you should NEVER do it before you're in a relationship with the person if you like them.

[HaggardDiva]

Thanks, I was just looking for your opinion. A little vague but okay. I hear SO many different things on how long you should wait, some guys swear that you could sleep with them right away and it wouldn't change their perspective of you. I slept with every guy I dated before we got into a real relationship. Never right out the shoot, but before we were official. I do believe timing is different with all guys.

[Jarett]

Well to be honest, I don't think you can error on the slow side. If a guy breaks up with you, because you won't do sexual stuff, then do you really want a guy like that? If the guy really likes you for who you are, and cares about you, don't you think he would wait for a few months, or even to marriage?

[HaggardDiva]

I kind of think what you are overlooking here, is that some women themselves are sexual people and want to have sex early on. But if they are looking for a relationship, they too need to know how long to hold themselves back.

[So-Innocent]

Honestly some girls don't feel used when they have sex with a guy. A lot of guys have girls brainwashed into thinking they have to have sex with them, and now girls think it's normal to do sexual things with a guy early on.

I think girls have it in their minds that if they don't have sex with the guy soon, he can go and get it from another girl, because there is always some other girl that will do it with him on the spot.

Another thing I've been hearing lately is "guys need sex to feel love, girls need love to have sex" (that's probably wrong but it's something like that), so maybe girls think that they need to have sex with a guy to prove that they love him?

My friend lost her virginity a guy on the second date. I guess nowadays the norm is to not wait.

I'm a virgin but I would never have sex with a guy on the first or second date, or anything close to that. My personal morals aren't going anywhere.

[l-hedoniste]

I'm not going to blast on you, but I think you're wrong. Meeting slutty is perfectly okay, IF done right. First, it answers the question of whether you're a bad lay--critical. It's more entertaining than the movies, and easier than cooking.

Furthermore, nowhere else is someone's personality more clear than when you're f*cking them. Are they generous or selfish? Greedy or giving? Funny or serious? It comes out in bed in a way that dinner at Applebee's might not expose.

That's the risk of quick sex, too, the honesty, the vulnerability, the truth of it; most prefer dancing around in their emotional armor before they show their partners who they really are.

As for me: life is short, and time's-a-wastin'. The sooner I get busy, the better.

[Jarett]

I don't know you personally, so I am just guessing, but you prove my point right there. Obviously sex is important to you, and the way you speak, it's more important then the value of a girl. So why would a girl who is looking for something serious, want to go for you, when sex is more important then the value of a girl? I'm not saying that your view on the girl might not change, but to me, it seems in general, sex is more important.

[l-hedoniste]

Sex isn't more important than the value of a girl, it's part of it--one and inseparable. I don't choose sex over her value any more than I choose her sanity over her value, or her maturity over her value, or her intellect over her value.

[doctorwhofan23]

This is a great question. I honestly have to say that if a girl has respect for her body she would wait for the right time for sex. I want a girl who does not feel she needs to have sex for me to like her because I don't need sex. I honestly want a girl to be a virgin when I date her.

[Sholmes80]

Love this!!!

[BeccaAloysia]

um I officially love you, just sayin

[scooogy]

love the asker?

[jess7]

i am a virgin but I don't think it will make a guy like you if you have sex with him that will give him a sign that you are trashy and that ur easy to have sex with.

[MikkiM]

Thank you, I think this is really educational :)

[SmarmyMarsh]

Respect.

[Silverjwlz]

Well, I obviously don't have to answer, because you did a pretty good job of that yourself. :)

I pretty much agree with everything that you said. It's true that some girls don't feel used when they sleep with a guy early on, or even when they sleep with a lot of guys. I however, would feel terrible and demeaned. In my opinion, too many people today have such little respect not only for others, but also for themselves. To me, sex is something special that should be celebrated with someone you love, not just anyone. I can't understand why a person would have any interest in sleeping with someone who they hardly know. I certainly never would.

[Texasgal95]

Not necessarily

[psychoticallyawkward]

Welcome to G@G. Thank you for sharing. You might also consider writing a MyTake about that.

[LucyGrace]

In a relationship. Sex is important. If you aren't attracted to each other. Then it would be hard to have sex. Sex for me would be the seal that we both love each other. But it has to be consensual

[stevo]

Just to answer your question: There's no chance in hell a guy will like a girl if she has sex with him just to make him like her. It doesn't speak volumes for any girl who would do that just to get some guy to like her. None.

[adorkabletmtm]

So what was the question? "Does having sex with a guy make him like you?" or "How's that for my first question?"

[Jarett]

Lol there basically is no question. The question was, "does having sex with a guy make him like you." But I already answered it for you :o)

[adorkabletmtm]

I read like every other word, then the last sentence.

[Jarett]

That's your problem. The best words are the 1st, 3rd, and 5th of every sentence. You're reading the wrong words.

[SamIIsnt]

An interesting question

[wantsomede]

Summit does someone get obsessive and summer be like yeah scored later

[Angelike]

Maybe

[Anonymous]

I like you. I wish there was a way to subscribe to certain people, I feel like you're gonna make a really good contribution to this site 🙌🏽 you speak absolute truth and I love how you're real and don't sugar coat it. This is how it should be.

[Anonymous]

lol I thought this was a question: I was gonna say NO

girls like that are stupid and they are f***ing up the game for the rest of us. the dating scene has been saturated by desperate ass females willing to do anything for a guys approval. now guys either get used to easy sex and only want that, or they expect that every girl is gonna be that easy and desperate.

personally I feel like if a guy doesn't like me based on my personality, wit and charm I damn sure am not gonna give him my body. what for so he can go brag to his friends about how he hit that and never call me again?

i have a question, when do you think a good time is to have sex if you want a guy to be in a relationship with you and respect you?