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How do you fix a break-up, when your ex is acting cold?

To clarify, we we're together from Oct-Jan, then I broke up with him because he stood me up several times/was always late, said he'd come, then didn't etc. I really liked him at the time but he is not dependable in that regard and I always end up feeling left behind. When we broke up, he would be seem angry, cold and distant towards me, and this made it difficult because we had a mutual friend base. I decided it was for the best to try to ignore him. Suddenly, around mid-February, he invited me out and we talked about our feelings and he told me despite our split, he still had feelings for me, that he missed me. I still liked him, but I told him I'd think about it. He called me 2 days later saying he'd rethink it too...Then nothing happened? He'd been wishy-washy about us ever since. For a couple of days he'd be close and initmate with me, then distant.

Finally, I asked him what he really wanted and he told me it wasn't a good time in his life (he's 24 and still lives at home owing a huge debt in student loans) to be focusing on love. He said he likes me, but sometimes equally dislikes me. To this, I told him I loved him and wanted to be with him. He treated me coldly, but then soon warmed up despite not wanting anything. We had gone on a couple dates after this, and got closer, making out, having movie nights, holding hands he never officially asked me to be with him, and we never talked about being official. I thought not to mention it again, because he was being wishy washy and I didn't want to pressure him.

We finished our semester, and had an end of the year party with all of our classmates and friends. This lesbian girl did a favour for me and my interest, so I jokingly told her (infront of him) that I'd kiss her to compensate. He didn't seem bothered, rather, amused. She took me to a private area, and made out with me in front of him. She was incredibly drunk, and there was a mutual friend of ours with her who was also equally plastered. He rolled on top of me and started kissing me and I panicked and didn't know what to do. When he stopped a few seconds later, I went and told my interest because I was scared.

He took me home, and then brought it up, asking why I kissed them when we were together. I told him I didn't know we were and he said okay. When I got home, he left me a text to say that 'we should hold off' on being together then. I called him a day later to apologize and explain, but he said 'what's done is done'. That we could be friends and nothing more.

I tried to accept this, and give him space even though I was incredibly hurt by it. I treated him like a friend like he asked for a couple of weeks, then he suddenly got cold. He started ignoring my texts. Now, he ignores all our mutual friends. They're upset because they don't know what they did wrong, and I have a feeling he is ignoring them because of me. Is it really over between us, or would explaining my real feelings help him recover?
Updates:
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When we first met, I was a very shy, reclusive, socially awkward girl with anxiety. He was open, extroverted and always wanted to do things to learn more and improve as a person. I wanted to hide in my shell my whole life, but when I met him he changed that for me. He taught me to understand people and social situations. He was tough on me, but ultimately, I love him for taking his time with me and teaching me that. He's led me a path like no other. That's why I love him.
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I'm reluctant to pick a 'best answer' because none of these really answer my question. But perhaps, I just need to realize that people aren't always going to tell you what you want to hear; and perhaps that's for the better.


I think I've made sufficient moves for now, I sent him a message and albiet if he ignores it, then he ignores it. But hopefully I've made my point to him that I'm still waiting, all I can do is wait for his reply rather than push. Thanks for the feedback.
How do you fix a break-up, when your ex is acting cold?
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