I partied all the time when I was younger.
But got in a serious relationship when I was 20 and stopped drinking and partying. I was in school, worked and most of my friends were hours away. Well my friends partied every weekend and drank all the time. When I came home I worked constantly for a year so I didn't have time.
But I have as a bartender and make wicked money and have a lot more time off. I seem to be drinking a lot more. Like every weekend. I go to ball games and get drunk. I'm just doing a lot more that seems to involve drinking and I could justify that.
But yesterday I went to the game and for the first time ever I lost control of my drinking. Don't get me wrong, I've gotten very very drunk plenty. But I never just crave more and more. I've want another drink but it wasn't the same. I got trashed and as soon as I realized I was as drunk as I was I stopped. I was chugging water. I made myself vomit trying to sober up and stopped drinking.
I can go out and have one or two. I can go out and have none. But last night scared me. I don't like losing control. Do I have a drinking problem? I was going to just stop drinking for awhile all together, but I'm going away for the weekend with my friends and I won't be the buzzkill that doesn't drink.