My 14 year old daughter states she no longer wants to eat pork due to her Seventh Day Adventist religion. Is this ok?

My husband thinks because she ate it for years she should continue to eat it now. I will not cook special foods for supper for her but will allow her to eat left overs or whatever she wants to make for herself. Am I wrong for not making her eat it or allowing her to pick another protein instead?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Seventh Day Adventist? What is that? I think it is nice of you to not make her do what she doesn't want to do.

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    • They believe Friday sundown to Saturday sundown is the Sabbath. Not very educated on other beliefs they have or follow. No pork or sea scavengers.

    • Hmmm guess I learn something new every day

Most Helpful Girl

  • I was taught by my parents to make this sort of decision for myself, based on my own beliefs and needs. My brother was taught the same. We were taught that as things change, so we were entitled to change our minds, if our experiences told us we were on the wrong track.

    Your daughter is now well into her formative years, and has come to the conclusion that eating pork is wrong. You and your husband must honour her decision, and do everything you can to facilitate this. If it means cooking something else for her, it is not a big issue, is it?

    In fact, get her to do a lot more cooking. Not just for herself, but for all of you. Why? When I left home to go to uni, I was a very capable cook, and was well able to fend for myself. Your daughter, and any other children, need to be the same.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Say "We've changed religions too. In our new religion, we don't feed our children what our children don't want but we don't replace that food with something else. If the child wants to eat more, s/he needs to find her/his own extra food with their own money and cook it on their own time. "

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    • THAT is NOT good parenting.

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    • You must live in a strange world. The parents would then be the defiant ones. "Do not like what we give you, then go without". Power has no place in a loving home. Parenting is NOT about power. There was no power struggle in my family, and I turned out just fine.

      Respect is a two way street. In your case it is only one way. Your kids MUST respect you, even though YOU have no respect for them.

      Thankfully, that is why the real world in UK seems better than the one you describe.

    • @juicyjessie I understand where you are coming from. I used to be like that. I would be supportive of my daughter's choice here, but decisions have consequences and kids need to learn that. That's the difference between adults and kids. In the real world, Nature has no mercy.

  • In my future house you eat what is served goddammit! If she wants something special you could just be like "Nah, too damn expensive" There's a reason why we don't eat fancy all year long. If she insists she wants something else teach her to buy her own food?

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    • And I'm 15.. I eat what is served even thought if I hate some of the food my parents make. I eat coz I have too. Same with School. The food is disgusting but I have to eat...

  • Nope she's getting old enough to start to learn how to make decisions for herself. The less you resist the less she Wil rebel and lock into what may be mistakes.

    Your husband is right don't do anything special. Your right let her sub if the opportunity exists

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  • I live with my dad.. but i always cook for myself. Because i want to prepare everything myself... if she doesn't want to eat pork anymore.. let her do what she want

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  • Fourteen? And letting her pick her own religion?

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    • Why not? You cannot force religion down someones throat, as a polite fuck off later in life tends to hurt. It is the same as trying to get someone to convert. If they have their own beliefs, NOTHING will change it.

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    • Then why poll? Use different meat substitutes when cooking. Keep the ham and pork products for those in the house and dont offer it to her... I have had to make so many vegan alternatives since my kids chose vegan. I never let them choose religion as an excuse for their own choices...

    • @MatthewJ42 Religion governs so many things in life, for those that are true to their faith. Like not having sex before marriage. Like fasting at Ramadan. If we do not observe these requirements, we do not observe our faith, but deny it instead.

      it matters not why this girl has chosen not to eat pork. It might just as well have been every second Wednesday in the month. LOL! It is her reason and no one else's business.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think if she is abstaining from pork for religious reasons - you should respect her choice and not force her to eat pork. You could make chicken for her or egg.

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    • Funny they also say not to eat sea scavengers but she hasn't stopped eating crab yet. I think her dad follows what beliefs he wants to from that religion and she is also following that as well.

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