The Myth of An Attractive Girl With Bad Personality

Note: I am writing this take because I am sick of reading questions of attractive girls having terrible personalities, stupid or materialistic. This is based on my personal experiences and I'm sharing my opinion. Your thoughts are welcome.

It's a myth that attractive girls have bad personalities and are stupid. And who propagated that myth other than unattractive people themselves?

When I was in high school, I was bullied by a group of mean girls who brought down my self-confidence. When I look back at high school pictures, I am much more beautiful than all of them. I was taller, had bigger breasts and flawless skin. Because of their bullying, I never accepted my beauty.

That's why I don't make friends with unattractive girls, I don't need their negativity in my life. All my female friends are very attractive girls like me. We have no need to be competitive with each other because we get enough male attention our way.

One of my friends is an actress, I always compliment her on her great skin and figure while she compliments me on my height and beautiful hair. In my experience, beautiful girls always admire the beauty of other girls. It takes one to notice one.

Beautiful girls take great care of themselves and are very healthy. They are not lazy. I go to the gym with my girlfriends, we're also environmentally conscious. I am a vegetarian while some of my friends are vegan. We have a great fashion sense, we like to dress well and look good.

If a beautiful woman chooses to be faithful and loyal to you all the while knowing she has many options, it means she has a great deal of respect for you and you are very special to her.

I am engaged to my boyfriend and we are to be married next year. He was my first real relationship and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.

Most of the caring, helpful and culturally aware people are beautiful girls. Movies like Mean Girls, which show beautiful girls as being bitchy and rude, are the reason why this myth persists.

I leave this take with a quote from Grace Kelly, whom I admire, she was beautiful on the inside and outside. ''Elegance is not standing out, but being remembered"


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Word!!!
    I've only dealt with beautiful women and they are some of nicest people.
    They didn't have any bad habits outside of general bad habits all people have. lol
    I've dealt with unattractive girls before and again they had the same bad habits as attractive one, except they weren't attractive. lol.
    Plus, ugly people have a chip on their shoulders.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Mmmm... I agree that "attractive people are always mean and shallow" is just a myth with no basis in reality -- but to be fair, so is "unattractive people are always negative and spiteful."

    I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with unattractive girls. Personally, I've had a lot of negative experience with beautiful girls.

    As you might have guessed, I'm NOT one of the attractive ones -- this isn't me fishing for compliments or hoping that I'll get flooded by people telling me I'm not ugly, it's me stating a fact -- by the standards of the society I live in, I'm unattractive, if not directly ugly. I'm the girl who always gets praised for "having a wonderful personality." When people compliment me they'll say I'm funny, helpful, kind, positive -- when they insult me they go for my looks. I've heard them all; "lard ass," "ugly bitch," "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, IT TALKS!!!" and others.

    By far the greatest amount of these insults came from beautiful girls.

    But -- and this is the important part -- the beautiful girls were by no means the only ones who could be nasty. And the nasty girls were not uniformly beautiful.

    I've come to know a lot of people over the years; some were absolutely drop-dead-gorgeous; some were plain as plain could be, some were ugly as sin. And which of these people were nice, and which of them were mean? As I discovered, it had VERY little to do with whether they had movie-star good looks or not.

    I know this is a cliché, but I believe that "pretty is as pretty does."

    I think we're all guilty of "unattractive" behaviour from time to time, be it online or in real life. I'll admit, I've had "ugly" outbursts, and had days where I was so ugly I could barely stand to look in the mirror... but that had nothing to do with my weight, my hair or the unflattering shirt that looked so much better on the rack than it did on me; it had everything to do with me being a cranky little bitch at the time.

    No matter what you actually look like, it's a lot easier to be ugly if you don't feel good about yourself. Luckily, in later years I HAVE been feeling pretty good about myself. I'll never be conventionally attractive, or win any beauty contests... but I'm okay with this.

    We probably won't ever meet in real life. But if we do, I'll promise here and now not to be mean and negative towards you just because you're beautiful.

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    • I guess it's because those pretty girls didn't accept their own attractiveness. Back in high school, even though I was physically attractive I didn't accept it and my insecurity made me lash out on others which made me bitter. Back then, I would agree that I had a bad personality. Now that I have accepted my beauty, I have no reason to lash out or be bitter but I also avoid girls who try to bring me down because I've been blessed with good looks.

      Thank you for your kind words. All the best to you

    • Thanks. ^_^

      To be honest, though, I think those pretty mean girls knew EXACTLY how pretty they were... and how pretty I WASN'T. I know the saying is that mean people are only mean because they're unhappy with themselves... and yeah, sometimes this is right, but not always. There are a lot of mean people who feel VERY GOOD about themselves; they just view others as being worth less than they are and that's why it's their right to treat them badly.

      But, I don't think it's wise to judge anyone based on their looks. In my experience, nobody is exactly who he or she appears to be on the surface.

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 51

  • "That's why I don't make friends with unattractive girls, I don't need their negativity in my life"

    Its kind of ironic that you're trying to make the claim that attractive girls with bad personalities are a myth (which I agree with) but then claim that its the unattractive girls that have shitty personalities and that you want nothing to do with them. That's kind of an elitist attitude and undermines your entire Take.

    There are shitty people in this world; both attractive and unattractive.

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  • Oh no lol it's not a myth. It's VERY true.

    Not every dumb woman is unattractive but all in all I can say that the majority of overly attractive girls I knew (not dated) were indeed dull.

    The big one for me though was the terrible personalities. EVERY. SINGLE. GIRL. that was a 9 or 10 that I have gone on a date with so far has had a TERRIBLE personality. The common theme for me was that all of them had a sense of bitterness to them. Like nothing could possibly please them. That's why I purposely chose girls around 7 and 8 for relationships and only pushed for hook ups with 9 and 10s. No need for negativity

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    • I'm challenging the general notion society has of attractive people while conveniently ignoring the unattractive girls with terrible personalities. Since conventionally attractive girls tend be a small number, I would say average or unattractive girls have bad personalities.

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    • C'mon.. you're telling you can't find a highly attractive woman with a good personality? There out there.. were you good at hide and seek as a kid or not? lol

    • @BrittBratt2416 oh haha I'm sure they are. Just sort of hard to find

  • Everything is handed to an attractive woman all her life so she becomes spoiled, narcissistic, and just terrible to be around. That’s just the way it is. That is all I see when I see an attractive woman and don’t think twice about her. I always think she would be great for some other lucky guy. lol

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  • wow narcissistic much? you just proved that most attractive females have bad personalities..

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    • So true. It's funny. As I was reading, I was thinking the same thing: will she eventually notice the irony? Guess not. Hahah

  • First off, you sound just fantastic. *sarcasm*
    Most of the traits you discuss are superficial. The rest are related to your specific interests, not your personality.
    In general, attractive women are better socialized than unattractive women, but that's because society will come to you. Having more charisma doesn't mean you can't be vain (being attractive is a pre-requisite to be your friend), conceited (you're obviously very taken with yourself, describing some of your traits as "flawless"), judgmental (you think unattractive women are inherently negative) and vindictive (you base your impressions off what happend to you in high school). You'll probably make more friends and hold more sway over people than unattractive women, but it doesn't make you a better person or more interesting.
    And while you were working on one aspect of yourself (i. e. your "attractiveness"), some of those "ugly" girls were working on skills to better themselves and make themselves more interesting people. And if you treat yourself like a pretty object to be gawked at, don't be surprised when others treat you as such.

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  • So you dislike the generalization that hot women are less than virtuous characters, but then you go judging unattractive women as negative.

    You've done nothing but confirm all of the stereotypes people have of hot people. Your future husband is so lucky that you take time to be faithful to him, like that's some kind of threat to hang over his head.

    You sound like an awful person, your beauty will fade rapidly but the kindness and goodness in peoples hearts, that make them virtuous people, will live on long past that.

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  • "That's why I don't make friends with unattractive girls, I don't need their negativity in my life. All my female friends are very attractive girls like me."
    Thanks for writing it so clearly.
    That reminds me , never to date again a spoiled girl who considers herself part of the attractive elite.

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  • You're right that it's a myth, if anything pretty girls are nicer in general.

    However, the fact that you base your friendships off attractiveness... says a lot about you.

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  • Beautiful people, men and women alike, run a spectrum from wonderful to awful. The idea of beautiful women being all mean is a myth... and clearly my wife buried that myth. But beautiful women have as much chance as being mean as anyone else. The same is true of men.

    You seem to have drawn the wrong conclusions because you were bullied by unattractive people. This whole, "I don't hang around with unattractive people because they're mean and negative" is likely the result of confirmation bias which you seem to exude. Just because you were bullied by mean, unattractive people, doesn't mean that a disproportionate number of unattractive people are mean. Just like attractive people, they run the spectrum from kind to unkind. You've been made biased, and in your own words, bitter because you were bullied by unattractive folks. I'm sorry you were, but perhaps it's time to take a more balanced look at your conclusions.

    Being a vegetarian, or a vegan, or environmentally conscious, or complimenting fellow beautiful people, or not being lazy, or going to the gym are all utterly and completely MEANINGLESS in terms of being a good person to your fellow man. In fact, this refusal to associate with 1/4 of the entire human race (unattractive girls) speaks volumes that you are still bitter.

    by the way, how do you *know* your daughter will be beautiful? If you're about to argue that *you're* beautiful, and your future husband is handsome, and therefore you'll have good genes to pass on to your offspring, then you don't know much about fetal development. Good genes only *increases* the chance that your offspring will be good looking. It doesn't guarantee it. What if something happens in utero to your child? What if your daughter has an accident? Are you going to disassociate yourself with her if she's unattractive? Will you discourage your daughter from associating with unattractive girls?

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  • #1 You sound arrogant and full of vain glory.

    #2 The time is coming when you will look like a wrinkled ball of paper. So calm down.

    #3 Read the #1 and #2 again. 😎

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  • It might be a myth but their defiantly attractive girls with bad personalities i met quite a few of them. But there have been plenty of attractive girls who are nice and have a witty sense of humor. Most seem to be in the middle where they are nice but can turn sour quickly you push the wrong button. My current crush who is very attractive is kind and friendly most of the time but is rather insecure and ends up playing way to many games or takes offense to easily. But what side you see of any particularly girl depends on how they feel about you (like you as person) and how you treat them if your friendly and nice then usually they reciprocate and if they attracted to you that usually throws their usual behavior for a loop so you get a sweet and sour experience.

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  • So wait, you say attractive women don't have bad personalities, yet you don't make friends with unattractive people? A person with a good personality, respect and has morals wouldn't never say that. Both attractive and unattractive people can be a-holes or nice. You are generalizing. You are full of it. Respect everyone as a equal is how it should be, but unfortunately might never happen. "Do on to others, what you want others to do to you".

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  • I hope you see the irony in this because you sound very conceited. Basically, proving the opposite of your "Mytake"

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    • I don't think I am. I'm just telling it like it is instead of sugar coating anything

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    • Straight talk isn't arrogance

    • But acting like you're God's gift to the earth is. You even basically said your boyfriend is lucky you stayed faithful because you could leave him in a heartbeat because of all the "options" you have. Your whole Mytake just reeks of of generalizations of "unattractive" people while basically putting "attractive" people on a pedestal (which attractiveness is very subjective anyway). The problem isn't you aren't just telling your life experiences, you're actively doing the thing you claim to hate which is stereotyping people and judging who and who's not attractive and refusing to be with anyone who doesn't fit your narrow view.

  • Just because you are the exception to the rule does not make the rule invalid. Generally, the more attractive a woman is the less "intelligent" she is. I saw some fairly attractive women struggle with the self checkout. I had a fairly attractive girl ask me if I was Asian or Chinese? The general trend for people is as their ego increases, they tend to look down on others who are not "worthy."

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  • I think you just live in a place full of assholes, in my group of friends there are both people attractive and unattractive and we all are respectful to each other, even if we of course joke about each other; maybe I can call someone short, maybe they can call me fat, that doesn't mean we are actually insulting each other, we are just joking.

    The exteriority characteristics of a person doesn't define his or her inner self anyhow. The only case might be when someone really bad looking becomes Introverted due of the incapability of attracting the opposite gender, but that has nothing to do with "bad and good".

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  • I've seen pretty girls that are just as mean as any hag. And uglies that are fun to be around. A good soul goes a long way.

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  • Exceptions do not make it a myth. Frankly I have met three types of "attractive" women in my life:

    1. Pretty and nice.
    2. Pretty and stuck up.
    3. Pretty and insecure about it.

    Most often # 3 co-exists with one of the others in the same person, thus you have #1 and #3, the nice but shy because she is insecure girl or #2 and #3, the stuck up, rude and obnoxious, acting like the world owes her something because she is overcompensating for being insecure girl.

    Of course #1 and #2 do also exist without the addition of #3.

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  • It's not a myth. It's pretty accurate.

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  • "That's why I don't make friends with unattractive girls"
    Yep the Legend is true XD

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  • People think attractive guys have bad personalities too. I wonder where the hell people get their assumptions from. I'm assuming it's jealousy because I met a lot more unattractive people with horrible personalities than attractive people with horrible personalities.

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What Girls Said 31

  • I never understand this- why you have to put down one group to prove superiority of other?

    Sure, not all beautiful people are mean and shallow, but you make it seem as if unattractive people are the worst.

    "That's why I don't make friends with unattractive girls, I don't need their negativity in my life. All my female friends are very attractive girls like me."

    "In my experience, beautiful girls always admire the beauty of other girls. It takes one to notice one"
    - Wrong. I truly appreciate beauty of girls around me. So do others.

    "Most of the caring, helpful and culturally aware people are beautiful girls."
    - Gross generalization based on anecdotal experience

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    • I've had many bad experiences with average or unattractive girls, not necessarily guys. And I've said that this is based on my personal experience.

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    • She s right asker

    • Pretty well said, Schrodingerscat.

  • I totally agree that not all beautiful people have bad personalities, but neither do all ugly people, like you seem to imply in your take

    And you came across as rather arrogant, so if you are beautiful like you say I think you've done more to confirm the sterotype here than the opposite

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  • Yes people, (especially other women), tend to not like other girls who may grab the attention of others (usually men) easily cause of their beauty. It's a competitive thing, men and women are always subconsciously trying to stand out more to grab attention of the opposite sex to induce their chances of getting the best mate to reproduce with. Also Hollywood movies love to have the popular pretty girl usually portrayed as alpha but also a bitch that does anything to stay at the top. So some people have that embedded in their minds when they see a beautiful woman, they just assume she will be nasty cause of the movies or personal experiences with a few girls. But to be honest, you're post isn't really helping you.. it's kinda proving a point why people make quick judgmental decision that beautiful women are stuck up. But anyways, I never hated beautiful women, I kind admire them because I think all women have different features that make them stand out.

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  • your point is that attractive girls don't have bad personalities and then you wrote
    ''That's why I don't make friends with unattractive girls, I don't need their negativity in my life. All my female friends are very attractive girls like me.''
    now I don't know if you're actually attractive but your personality and attitude is clearly not.. you take pride in being part of an attractive hyena group , doesn't that make you kinda stupid too?
    I'm criticizing you so I must be an unattractive girl.. but at least I don't judge people based on their looks and also take inner beauty into consideration when I make friends.. and to me they're the most beautiful people ever :)

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    • I do take personality into consideration and unattractive girls tend to have bad personalities. I avoid them for a reason.

  • I don't think it's a myth about beautiful girls being unpleasant, but it is certainly true that the beautiful girls who have their heads gassed up 24/7 are not very nice people. Constantly being told how beautiful you are, and how much better you are than everyone around you while your mind is still developing will certainly have it's effects on someone's ego. You are not like that, because you were bullied but the girls who weren't bullied certainly are like that. Also, you seem to have a very narrow view of what is and isn't beautiful, which sounds exactly like the beautiful girl stereotype. You don't like people who stereotype you and assume what your personality is like, yet you assume and stereotype the people who you consider to be less attractive than you. Which once again, is another pretty girl stereotype (thinking you're above someone else, beauty wise).

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    • I disagree. Being told you're beautiful develops a healthy self esteem. When I have a daughter I will certainly tell her how beautiful she is, which I know for sure she will be.

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    • And you are assuming that beautiful girls are being told how beautiful they are constantly? I wasn't and most beautiful girls I know haven't. They too had bad experiences with unattractive girls who would make negative comments about them. All the beautiful girls I know have great personalities so I beg to differ with your opinion.

    • You clearly don't know how to read.

  • Thank you for that take. Many will slam you in the comments regardless of your take being the farthest from offensive. I am happy for you finding love, and I am sorry you were bullied, so was I but it makes you stronger.

    Great choice only keeping good looking friends, I have decided to do the same and that's why I stay to myself. My culture and country is very limited on good looking people, they tend to leave the country.

    One of my exes in the navy, was handsome and asked me to marry him years ago, I didn't want to leave, now I regret it. People think being good looking is easy, but it's like walking on egg shells everyday.

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  • Love that quote. Yeah, I can definitely agree that being beautiful and elegant with your body as well as your words usually comes with emotional stability and certain life experience and yup, all women who fall under this category truly always appreciate other's beauty and don't feel self-conscious mentioning it to that particular person. Giving honest, selfless, want nothing in return, compliments is a virtue.

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  • I've thought about this perspective before, and I honestly think it does all just come down to jealousy.

    I have met both attractive and unattractive people that were both mean and kind. Stupid and intelligent. Confident and timid. It isn't related to physical appearance at all.

    And I agree with you that you deserve to be respected for your own personality and beauty. I will never be rude or mean to an attractive girl because she is pretty. That isn't in my nature. I am generally content with being as I am, and try to compliment attractive girls because they deserve to be praised just as much as any other person.

    But I also understand the mentality of those who are less attractive: as much as we would like to believe that life is fair, we know it isn't. We know that there are people out there like you that have the beauty, brains, and personality. And quite frankly, it can be discouraging and make you think "what's the point?"; they say nobody is perfect, but it doesn't always appear true. It really does feel like some days that some people have it all--and other people have nothing.

    Disregarding appearance and personality, I will say this from my personal experience: more often than not, unattractive people I meet tend to be more loyal than attractive people. Because they don't have options. If a person acknowledges them, they are grateful for that. You say that you don't like being friends with unattractive people because of their negativity, and you're right, their happiness is not your responsibility. But the bonding that comes from empathy, and struggling through depression together, really is something special.

    I won't discriminate against attractive people, but I will say this: specifically for the reason you mentioned, I don't really feel comfortable around attractive people. You don't want to be around someone who is negative, while you have all the perks of being pretty/smart/personable/etc. And that makes sense... but from an unattractive person's perspective, it just translates out to they are not significant enough to invest time into. The fact that you see baring another's burden as a chore isn't very appealing. I don't think attractive people necessarily lack personality; but this attitude you are expressing indicates you lack a certain degree of empathy.

    I'm not calling you an uncaring person; I am sure you care about other things you understand. But in general, I see your mentality in attractive people, and I find it uncomforting.

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    • I tend to fall in the neutral zone. Depending on how I dress, or if I decide to put a little make up on, I can range from being unattractive, to very attractive. I have been called both ugly, and gorgeous (I'm Asian, so my face is kind of unisex). So I know how both feels. And I don't think you deserve to be discriminated against because you are pretty. That isn't fair.

      However, I will say this: whenever I dress up and look like a head-turner, I am always extra kind. I always make sure I am never disrespectful, and try to show extra interest in people, and give them compliments if I can. Because being see as a good thing by a beautiful person feels great, and I want other people to feel lifted up by me, not inferior.

      Anytime I am around an attractive person that takes the time to befriend me and listen to what I have to say, and share their life with me, I always have the up most respect for them. Their beauty is a device for encouragement, and I admire that and want to emulate that.

  • I will tell you why some attractive girls are given labels. I have been told a lot that I am an attractive girl. Although I am not a blonde bombshell or anything like that. But many times people become the way they are treated. Believe it or not, attractive girls aren't treated better, sometimes worse. People don't care to know you as a person they judge by how you look like. They assume that everyone is kind to you so its just fair they treat you badly. Not knowing that other people think the same way, and you end up being treated badly by everyone. Some people act so mean towards you especially women although you were nothing but nice to them. I would have been acting differently if I looked different. now I started to act in a stuck up way not because I am stuck up. I do it to protect myself as if I was too nice I will be taken advantage of. And I don't mingle with anyone. I show my real heart and my kindness only towards my family as we live in a society the hates I mean HATES a beautiful person to have a beautiful soul. its too much for them

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    • I'm sure you're attractive. Own it. Beautiful people shouldn't have to apologize for their looks.

  • Personality and looks aren't always correlated, positively or negatively. You actually have to get to know someone to know what their personality is like. Imagine that.

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  • You don't need looks to be good or bad.

    I can give you my own example.

    I'm not very social in school and hang out with ONLY TWO GIRLS. One of them is unattractive (and she has problems with her tongue so she can't speak well), the other one is the 'beauty queen' of our class and both of them are just pure sweethearts. Seriously, having one-two crazy sweet friends like them is more than enough. <3

    There are two more girls in school whom I nicknamed "Allergy 1" and "Allergy 2". One of them is also one of the prettiest girls in our class but the other one is very unfortunate in looks. Both are bitchy and do nothing but backbiting. I stay 100 miles away from them.

    Same with guys... among my guy friends I have super attractive, very ugly and everything in-between. Looks never mattered to me cause we're all the same hilarious and caring people from indise.

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  • I know plenty of pretty girls with crappy personalities.

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    • Unattractive girls have bad personalities. They can't appreciate another woman's beauty.

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    • No problem, you're entitled to your opinion. I just don't trust unattractive girls.

    • @macix670 And you have a bad personality. So I guess y'all are even now.

  • Attractiveness is very hard to rate, to someone I may be ugly to someone I may be beautiful.

    Majority of humans lie in the healthy range meaning that there's always someone who'd find them beautiful.

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  • Real Beauty is when you dont have to put down another woman to stand out. We can all appreciate eachother and sometimes beauty is in the personality.

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  • I find it's the women who are seen as gorgeous with bad personalities are seen as gorgeous BC they put themselves out there. And hey, sometimes the cocky arrogant girls are the ones who out themselves out there which gets them noticed.

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  • i agree that attractive girls aren't all dumb or mean but thats the same as ugly ones- some might be resentful or whatever but not all of them are, plus being pretty doesn't mean you take care of yourself- and 'ugly' person could shower 20 times a day, it doesn't make them pretty.

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  • You are doing exactly what you accuse them for. They are putting all attractive girls in one category. You are putting all unattractive girls in one category. Furthermore unattractive and attractive are subjective.

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  • 2d

    It’s not a myth. beautiful girls or not, anyone can have a bad personality. As indicated here. By the writer.

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  • Well I don't see how a weak ass shell like a physical appearance can determine someone's personality it can influence it but if u got a strong personnality u can fix it

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  • Yea mean people come in all shapes and sizes haha

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