Why Be Good When You Can Be Bad?

I’ve stumbled upon a MyTake on here titled “I’m a ‘’Good Girl’’ in This Day and Age’’, and I thought it would be appropriate to share the opposite side of this. The topics that the Anon author tackles are sex and virginity, drugs, infidelity, and makeup, so I’ll do the same. Keep in mind that I’m not hating on anybody, just expressing my opinion on the matter :).

Why be good when you can be bad?

Virginity and sex are not that big of a deal in my opinion. They are a natural part of our lives, and there’s no need to make it more than it is. Why ‘’save yourself’’ for the right person or wait for marriage, when you could have it right now? Enjoying the pleasures your body offers to you is not a sin, and it doesn’t make you less of a person. Promiscuity and casual sex should not be frowned upon in my opinion. I have never held back and limited myself when it comes to sex, and I regret nothing. I may have been called a slut, a whore, probably many other names, but I couldn’t care less. I’d rather be slut-shamed than miss out on something as awesome as sex.

There’s little to no difference between alcohol, which is legal, and soft drugs. As long as you have some common sense and don’t get too fooked up, I think there’s no harm in trying. If anything, it’s better to go all out and do some slightly messed up stuff now than when you’re 40. I want to enjoy my youth and go crazy (within moderation) as long as I’m young, so that when I want to settle down and have a family, I won’t have the feeling that I missed out on anything. It’s much better to get trashed and make mistakes in your early 20s then to do it when there’s a family depending on you.

Cheating, in my opinion, doesn’t have that much to do with being good. Even though I might not be your conventional good girl, I can still love a person just as much. People who cheat don’t appreciate and value relationships, and that’s just plain stupid. If I wanted multiple partners at once, I’d just go for hook ups or non-exclusive relationships, but I would never intentionally hurt a person like that.

The no-make-up thing didn’t seem like a typical good girl quality to me at first, but when I thought about it, it started to kind of make sense. It highlights and exaggerates the feminine attributes of the face, and therefore naturally attracts the male attention. I’d be lying if I said I only wear make-up for myself. There’s a certain thrill that comes with guys checking me out when I go out of my way to look good. Even though men tend to say they prefer a natural look, a nice smoky eye and a bold lip usually do the trick, especially in settings like bars or clubs. And while I like to pay for myself when it comes to actual dates, I won’t say no to free shots from drunk horny dudes.

Being what one would describe as a “bad girl”, or in my case, maybe rather as a slut, is not all that bad. Sure, there’s people judging me and talking shite about me, but I couldn’t please everyone anyway. I’m having a blast every single day of my life, and it doesn’t make me trash. I’m successful, I got into a hard university course, I have all the friends I need and I’m perfectly capable of maintaining serious romantic relationships. I don’t regret any of the crazy, immoral and sometimes slightly dangerous things I did, I plan to live my life to the absolute fullest.

JulieXO is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • you and @lilaqua keep saying you can hold a romantic relationship but everytime you answer something its always "I only wanna date for sex"

    You and her will not fall in love and are unable too. Because sex is considered pleasure to you. it is not. it is not for pleasure. it is not intended for pleasure. start thinking about it.

    You and her will will most likely cheat and say "it just happened" or "its just sex".

    why be a bad girl when you can be clean, why be a bad boy when you can be clean. CLEAN.

    You make sex a joke. You don't care enough about it. you're just doing this because filthy guys are doing it so you think its okay and you should be accepted no matter what preferences people have.

    This mindset is in many girls these days, as you can see on here.

    make better choices in life ladies.

    • I don't date for sex. If I want sex I go and get it, but I would never be in a relationship just to get some. Also, I have never cheated and I'm pretty sur eI never will. I think sex is not a big deal, but I take romantic realationship very seriously.

    • It doesn't seem so but you write your own script so, enjoy.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Being bad does not equal living life to the fullest. In my opinion its the contrary; being good is more rewarding be it now or in the future. The more good you do the better you will feel and be as a person. You may not regret it now but you most likely will in the future. Plus doing bad things usually means your doing stupid things.

    • wise answer is wise. humans thrive in offering not taking. bad boy/girl life is a futile crusade of self occupation.

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 63

  • congratulations, you have discovered that morality is subjective.

    just as you can judge those for not "living life to the fullest" others can judge you for your hedonism

  • Looking at some of the male responses here, it would seem clear to me that some are resentful over the power and self determination it gives you. People don't like people with power, because it magnifies their own dis-empowerment.

    With regard to the topic itself, it seems that nuance and balance is key. One may get swept up in the whirlwind of the senses, but it seems that there is largely no substance or deep satiation to it. Enjoying yourself is fun. But you need to be also to go deeper. Unfortunately, our culture doesn't have the means to teach us how to do that, through its own shortcomings.

    People always create false dichotomies.

  • I think so many people glamorize the "bad boy" or "bad girl", and have this ideal in their head where they get away with everything even though they take big risks. However, all too often, this YOLO mentality leads to some very bad choices, ones where we can't take them back, ones that have lasting effects and big consequences.

    For example, a buddy of mine's friend came to a local American Legion once and he was already drunk. His family was home waiting for him to help deep fry a turkey, but he insisted on going out to meet us and have a few drinks before doing so. He had several shots in the span of an hour or so. Needless to say, he got wasted.

    When it was finally time for him to leave, he lied to his wife saying he was just going to Walmart (apparently he lied to her about going out to meet us after all). My buddy tried to drive him home in his truck and let him drive his truck just down the street so that his wife wouldn't find out. The dude refused and actually was putting up a fight. He hopped in his truck and peeled away.

    Later we found out he hit somebody on the way, the cops followed him to his house. Somehow, and I still to this day don't know how it happened exactly, he got away with it. No jail time. He got off with a minor citation. What a lucky son of a bitch.

    This same guy, he has a very magnetic personality. Everyone loves to hang with him, including myself. He is just fun to be around. However, I don't care how "cool" you are, bad choices are bad choices.

    I say do what you want and don't be influenced by what society says is good or bad, including being a so-called "slut", or smoking pot, or any of the other things you listed in this Take. However, everything, and I mean everything, has consequences.

    • But honestly I wouldn't call this necessarily "bad girl" behaviour or particularly reckless. I agree with this MyTake fully and but I am someone who is naturally cautious and safety orientated. If "bad girls" are considered so because they,

      - have sex
      - take soft drugs safely
      - wear makeup

      then thats an exceptionally low bar that pretty much all young people meet.

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    • @lilaqua I suppose it really comes down to the people doing the judging. If a person is really a "good too shoes", then anyone who drinks to the point of being drunk or smoking pot is going to be "bad".

      What I judge as being "bad' is going to be different than what you judge as being "bad". To me, smoking pot and drinking aren't bad at all. Having ONS, friends with benefits, hook ups, aren't bad to me, but they certainly can be to certain people.

      Bad to me is when a person has an IDGAF attitude. I used to have that attitude. But I wised up.

  • Everyone should be the person they want to be, as long as no one else is getting hurt. Sadly, I have seen many girls - in real life and online - who act like as "bad girl" (in the traditional sense of the world) and then complain that men don't like the way they are and think that men are shallow or whatever for having preferences. Which is just plain stupid. It's better to be yourself and have a smaller amount of people who are interested in you than to be someone you're not just to please others. And also, who gives a shit if they like you or not? Sure, if you like someone, and he/she doesn't like you back because of how you act, then yes, that stings, but that's gonna happen eventually no matter what kind of person you are. Just be the kind of person you feel like being and don't give a shit about who likes it and who doesn't. The people who don't like you for who you are should not be people you want in your life anyway.

  • Their is a very good reason to not be promiscuous and that is its quite harmful to you psychologically speaking. First and foremost you have the obvious physical affects such as STDs (which if you get enough of can result in sterilization, even if you take care of it before it becomes life threatening which several are, syphilis for instance will come back and effect you any where between ten to thirty years later after migrating to the brain and resulting in encephalitis which causes insanity then death (sever problem especially in the early 1900s)) and pregnancy (which abortion can also result in sterility if done enough times or improperly). Then you have the psychological affects which show increased rates of depression, anxiety and substance abuse, as well as increased probability of cheating, divorce, and lower levels of satisfaction for sex and increased dissatisfaction with long term relationships. This goes with your other "point" about doing this while young so you can settle down later. Namely that since you have conditioned yourself to "live it up" now, your not going to know how to settle down later, your not going to be able to have the level of self control and discipline and the ability to put of personal gratification for long term satisfaction, not to mention since your fixated on the here and now, your going to be far more impulsive and that will inevitably harm the person you settle down with and any offspring you may have, hence the higher divorce rate and cheating probability. This is catastrophically damaging to the individual cheated on (if the person who claims to love them would ignore their emotional well being for a brief moment of physical pleasure what does that say about them? At least that's how they will respond to it) but also is damaging to the child as children of divorce (and those raised by single mothers) have increased rates of criminality, substance abuse, depression, academic failure (and thus increased likely hood of poverty), suicide etc. So that's why historically and generally speaking every major and minor civilization frowned upon this behavior.

    As for drugs similar reasons as above, its not particularly healthy but it in and of itself isn't an issue so much as what it says about you as an individual, mainly that you have poor self control and thus are a liability to any one in a relationship with you, intimate or otherwise.

    • Further more while you may have more sex, more partying, and more "fun", statistically speaking people like yourself are less happy and find sex less enjoyable then people who are socially conservative i. e. the "good" girls/guys. That says a lot about you and how people work in general. Its more live in the moment not because your care free, more then likely, but because you need to fill a void with what ever new stimulus you can in order to stave off depression, anxiety, or sense of hopelessness and pointlessness of your life.

      Your right that its not a moral issue, its a health and well being issue and this just functions as a warning sign to many that you will create drama and pain if they are with you, in others it just invokes pity as it seems more a cry for help then the "fun" that you try to disguise it as. No one can stop you from doing it, but it will only hurt you and in all likelihood those who care about you in the long run.

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    • It's gone so far it's almost like drinking water with a fork.

  • It's the path that you had chosen, and it have many downsides as well, but I don't believe your claim that you are capable of maintaining serious romantic for long. :)



    • two questions. So you believe wearing makeup, having sex and smoking pot makes someone immediately unable to maintain a serious relationship? That means my me, my mother, my friends and a large majority of the population cannot ever empathise or love someone.
      second, why do you keep attaching links to tv tropes on your posts, I love that website but I don't think they mean what you think they do.

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    • @lilaqua hehe yeah ex hippie parents turning into good ol Sunday sermon serious parents. classical parental hypocrisy. most of our parents were like that more or less.

    • @levantine99 I mean I guess. My parents weren't hippies and they aren't really strict at all, but I think my mum was just trying to guide me away from the toxic lifestyle that she dabbled in when she was younger. I don't really have any intention of being around those people but I think we just fall on two different sides concerning the people that use marijuana.

  • To all the girls reading this, i got one thing to tell you.

    No quality man will ever go for a girl like the op described.
    Not a single quality man.
    Some of you may have boight into the lie that sex and virginity aren't important. But they are. They are very important to men, and will always be. Its how we are.
    The more "virginal" a woman is, the less sex she has had, the more value she has among men.
    The more guys you fuck, the lower your value gets.

    Some of you may think you can do it in your youth and then leave it behind.
    No, men will remember.
    The guy you fucked will remember.
    When he sees an acquaintance that wants a relationship with you, he will tell him, she is a slut, i smashed before.
    And thats how ot goes. People will always know.

    And as for saying better now than later, lol, who is more likely to do it later, the girl who used to do it, or the one that never did?
    Guys aren't stupid, you know?

    Dont ever delude yourself into thinking being a slut, or having a slut phase is okay. To men thats like guys with a criminal record.
    You may say, you only had a "criminal phase" , but it will always define you.
    It will always stay with you.

    And legit sluts will definitely try to recruit you. They want you to be as low as them.
    Dont let them.

    Be smart, be safe.
    Take care of your reputation and your value

  • "Bad girls" in a nutshell:

  • So... the essence of this take is, it is okay to be hedonistic? While the mindset is not bad, there is just nothing refreshing about it. But that's just an opinion that I've no doubt will be in the minority.

    • The irony is that the term hedonism is a reference to a philosophical ideology that believed that happiness was desirable and even they where against what we call "hedonism" because they knew that it was an ephemeral type of happiness that would only bring pain much later.

  • "Promiscuity by either sex is not good and you don't need sex to be healthy. The fact that this is trying to be normalized and perceived as good, is a clear indication of how far the country has fallen in terms of morals and integrity. When wearing lingerie and clothes with the label slut on it is considered progressive, serious thought should be given to the true reason for certain movements. We as men and women need to reexamine ourselves and strive to become respectable members of society and eventually pillars of the community that our children will eventually emulate. We can't do that if we won't sacrifice our carnal desires. If you don't agree, then just look at the evidence all around you... we're all suffering. 😑"

    I wrote this in a similar post. We've all done things we're not proud of, including me. However this is the behavior that enables and breeds countless other men (sorry boys) who develop the same mentality that many women complain about, it's a cycle. "Fuckboys can't be fuckboys if they don't have anything to fuck"... straight up. This attitude is the exact reason no true effort is given in dating by both men and women nowadays. A real man won't want anything to do with this type of attitude from a girl and a real woman won't tolerate this attitude from a boy. IT'S TIME FOR ALL OF US TO STEP UP... because we've all taken so many steps down... just my humble opinion.

  • Its beautiful to read all of these "points", on paper.
    In life, 99.9% of the people who will *try* this, won't know how to balance the "bad" with the "good". Because thats not who they are.
    Im a very "Taoistic" person, and I think that balance is what keeps our fettered insanity in a close closet. The moment we decide to be "good" or "bad" is actually an "artificial" moment, cause we are who we are.
    The reason we might be contemplating about our behaviour in first place is rather being concealed in other meanings in our life.
    Whether we'll be "good" or "bad", won't change anything. It is just a metaphore for a head that keeps popping outside the water, trying to take another breath before it drowns.
    Every man should embrace what he is, and no need to follow what society dictates us nowadays. If you're a cheater, cheat. If you're a monogamist, then go monogamize. If you're a doctor, save lives.
    If you're a killer, kill lives.
    Thats how life works, and to be born with the right amount of balance between good and evil is an amazing thing. I surely thank to god for what I am today.

    This Take is alright, I appreciate the words and thinking, but simplified matters are just simplified matters. It won't let people feel better, its just a recess from your (everyone's, generally speaking) misery, and then - u're back on the horse.
    People should seek for other meanings in life.
    Being "good" or "bad" is just the derived behaviour of what they should have sought in first place.

  • You seem to have this idea that you have to be a slut to "not miss out on sex" even tho the "good girls" can absolutely have fulfilling sex lives. They just choose to be more picky about who they have sex with as opposed to you. And promiscuity and casual sex is frowned upon for a reason, it shows a lack of self control and is often accompanied by self esteem issues and stuff like depression.

    And if you feel like you've "missed out on life" if you don't fuck around, act like crazy and make a ton of unnecessary mistakes then that's just shows how messed up you are mentally lol. Also it's actually better to not do messed up stuff at all, if you have the urge to do messed up shit you need to see a therapist. Also you seem to have this idea that you can fuck around all you want and make all the mistakes in the world and that there will still be that option of "settling down" waiting for you, that's extremely naive.

    Being loyal absolutely has to be with being good wtf?

    "I’m having a blast every single day of my life"

    Congratulations on being the first human ever who has never had a single bad day. Honestly you seem to have this obsession of "having fun" where you feel like you need to grab every possibility of making yourself feel good through physical pleasures, it's hedonism by the definition even to the point you try to pretend that you are never ever unhappy lol. In the last paragraph you're even trying to convince yourself that you have everything perfect and that you couldn't possibly regret any of your bad decisions. I wonder how that kind of worldview and attitude is gonna translate into adulthood.

  • Sadly for most people it's not a choice.. it's how they were born.

    Good people get shit on/have it so much worse.

    I've tried to change and be the bad guy.. only care about my pleasure.. but like the saying goes, "a Lepord can't change his spots".

  • --because, in the long run, it's far better for you.

    I've thought the same thing. It sucks knowing there are people out there having fun being bad and your just dragging your ass through everyday trying to be a good person and things aren't working out for you. However, you quickly realize that all the "fun" these supposed bad guys/girls are having is just a mere illusion.

    I can't convince you to do anything. It's your life and if you want to fuck it up, you have every right to fuck it up however hard you want to.

    On the other hand, being good is far better in the long run, despite the pitfalls that accompany it. I'd rather grow up to be the wise old man than a weak old fool.
    For instance, I've never been drunk in my life and I do not regret it to this day.

  • Well thats your opinion.

    When I read the title, I was like well thats fucked up. I pictured something like

    But I guess our views are just different. I wouldn't put "good" or "bad" labels on such irrelevant shit. For me something "good" is something that makes you, or others around you happy, or brings you or others value in any way. That's all. So having a bunch of sex is good if it makes you and the people you're fucking happy. Same as staying a virgin is good if it makes you feel happy about yourself.
    "bad" to me is when you enter the domain of hamring others or self destruction. Now it comes in degrees. Alcohol can be both good and bad, it makes you happy to a certain extent but it also kills your brain cells, makes you vulnerable to various unsavoury encounters such as your face meeting the sidewalk if you take it too far etc... Then there's what I'd call legit "bad" which is actually for real causing yourself, others or both serious harm. Which I don't think is ok.

    In the end its all about balance. I honestly wouldn't bother judging the stuff you're talking about at all. In the end thats pretty much mostly personal life choices, so who gives a fuck, as long as you're not hurting people doing it, I don't think anyone has the right to really say anything about it.

    To me when you refer to yourself as a "bad person" I picture something legit fucking awful. Not someone who just likes sex and weed lol.

  • I'd argue most of what you said was pretty normal. Not 'bad' at all. For most people over 16, almost everything becomes just actions and consequences unless its some seriously illegal stuff, e. g. threatening murder, cheating or drug dealing.

  • Thank you.

  • Bwaahaha...
    Bad girls have more fun. They also get knocked up, knocked down, used and abused, and left for the 'good girls'. :)

  • come back to me when you get aids/raped/injected with heroin and tell me that you don't regret anything you've done

  • So it's okay to do drugs and be a slut? Interesting myTake

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What Girls Said 28

  • yet you see the emptiness and shadow in those girls' look and you understand its all a waste of time and soul. a rather empty life to live, once you have to result to boose, drugs and numbing sex you already are in compensation mode... .

    • and its not in the slightest accidental that self destructive patterns usually all go together. smoking, drinking, drug abuse, more perverted sexual pursuits, there is no stability in spirituality. its either a downward spiral to self destruction or a narrow ascending ladder... .

    • adding toxic thought patterns, less than optimal time utilization and production of work fr humanity, and bad diet to that. i don't think any pot abusing and booze drinking person is a conscious raw vegan one with nature and in tune with its body for example. more likely a mcdonalds visitor every other day, with a starbucks milkshake for dessert. when one has a way clean lifestyle he/she can't help but to be concsious and responsible in a hollistic way about life as well.

    • So well said! Yeah this is nothing but a self-destructive behavior, and they just envy happy people and want to pull them down with them too, thence describing bad as fun and "living to the fullest", while in fact they're just in a despair to the fullest.

  • It is nice to be brave!
    in my opinion it doesn't matter if bad or good, just do what you feel like doing and don't care about what others say!

    • But isn't it bad actually bad? 😂

    • @zzzondarrr isn't "bad" actually bad?
      Nope there are many things considered bad by others that aren't actually bad, like I'm procrastinating hw a little time and someone says I'm bad mehh 😅
      By "brave" I mean the feeling that this take gives to me, rather than "bad", I'm sorry if that doesn't match your definition of braveness but I'm grateful for putting me to test about this matter despite someone gave an answer to your opinion already ^^

    • Ah anyway I didn't say I totes agree with this tale but I'm not close minded to bash it in its entirety ^^

  • So taking soft drugs is cool becauwe you have to live life to the fullest and enjoy life? No thank you just because people jump off the Cliff beause it is "cool" does not mean I have to do it too, that be dumb and stupid.

  • Being "bad" often times means being stupid and irresponsible.

  • As a good girl gone bad, I fully agree with everything you have listed. The time I remember being a good girl, was done simply because I was told to be one. Either by my family or God, which I still love my family. Not so much God anymore, after I decided to live for myself & do whatever the fuck I want. Not saying it's impossible to be a christian "bad girl", but you're definitely gonna get shamed if you're outspoken about your bad tendencies. Which unfortunately most of society still shames women for doing... whatever they want it seems. Whether that be good or bad. Why all the shaming? What is there to be ashamed of when being human?

    • Плохой выбор, привести к плохому исходу.

    • @lolily Is it possible to type that out again, but in english? I'm sorry, my uncultured American brain doesn't understand what you're trying to tell me. Also Google-translate doesn't compute either.

  • You´re promoting self-destructive behavior. None of what you said makes sense/rational nor is it anything which would benefit you.
    Do whatever you like but don´t complain when the consequences are showing up.

  • To each their own... But I can tell you that some decisions you make now will come back to haunt you later in life. Even if you're being "safe" as far as using protection to prevent unwanted pregnancies and stds, there's always that.01% chance that something could go wrong and your chances increase with a higher number of partners. Not only that, sleeping with guys you don't know very well leaves you in a very vulnerable position. There's a lot of crazy ass people out there! As far as "enjoying the pleasures of your body not being a sin"... That's exactly what it is to someone who values their religion. It would take a lot of will power and determination for someone to wait until marriage, so who are you tell them it's pointless? It obviously means a great deal to them. I never thought about the consequences of my actions when I was younger and wound up pregnant at 15. I had to grow incredibly fast! If you're going to live life that way, you have to be ready to face the consequences. If you think a quality man who knows you've slept with tons of men isn't going to view you differently, think again. Its definitely not fair to judge considering men typically have more partners than women, but true nonetheless. Aside from all that, there are definitely things that I've done in my past that I regret. At the time i didn't care, but now there's so much guilt and shame... and those things will die with me. All I can say is make sure you have a firm grasp on who you are, what you value, and how you want to be remembered.

  • Let’s just be honest and say that balance is important. Either extreme isn’t healthy

  • Bad girls aren't looking for lasting relationships. They aren't showing any signs of settling down. Most guys don't look at these girls and think wife material. So you're all good for fun and no commitment, perfect for using each other.
    Being good doesn't equal boring it means you have deeper morals. You value sex and making love. I'm "old fashioned" in that way. I don't feel the need to have sex just for pleasure and I can't relate to the type of women you described. I also hate the way men view women now because of this free the pussy attitude.

  • Being a bad a person is the easiest thing, people who are good and who don't let their dark side define them are special. If by being bad you mean : smoking, drinking, sleeping around etc well some bad people are the nicest ones.

  • What a great post Ms Julie, I love it, thank you!

  • Great take! Gives some other kind of perspective in my life :D I like being good girl thought. But it's cool that you live your own life just the way you want without giving a shit about judgmental people!

  • Keep being you stay happy live life.

    • Плохой выбор, привести к плохому исходу.

  • Bad choices, lead to bad outcomes.

  • Love this post ;), as someone who chooses to enjoy stuff now instead of saving myself this was awesome to read.

    • But how can u enjoy stuff that u know it's bad?

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    • @zzzondarrr @zzzondarrr Weed isn't bad, but an over consumption of it can lead to minor brain damage. Weed in controlled and small quantities can be good for relieving stress. It directly causes ZERO deaths a year, alcohol directly causes thousands. So the people who's opinions I trust on weed are not yours, there those that belong to people conducting current experiments on the effects and collecting data.

    • Actually I'd say people who take more risks, have more "fun", depends on your definition of fun.. that's why I put it in quotes

  • Bad girls aren't as happy as they seem

  • I choose to be good because as an adult, being "bad" gets you nowhere.

  • Love your take

  • Well i dunno, i have plenty of fun and i never drank or smoked or anything like that. I like being good because when you are good to people it makes them happy and then they are going to be good to you too

  • I ask myself the same question a long time ago
    I'm just taking small steps toward being bad

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