I have always loved the Backstreet boys. Since I was a young girl I’ve gone nuts over them and just recently, I was reminded of them when my husband shared a boyband parody with me by Peter Hollens.
I just about lost it when they sing: Your Mom - Our Demographic! Because it is so true.
But why do young girls and grown women alike go nuts over boybands? I mean, let’s admit it. They are kind of lame. There’s nothing particularly intellectual about them, and even though they’re good- looking, boy band members are usually not rugged alpha males.
So what is it that makes them so appealing?
1) They are a one-way street
They’re there to serve women’s fantasies alone. They sing about beautiful and idealistic concepts/values such as love, romance, sexual bliss and commitment. They make promises, and even though they can’t literally fulfil them, the music alone can be listened to over and over. This makes them, strangely, loyal.
2) They are safe
Boyband members don’t catcall or ask you for nudes.They are not in a position of power. They are in essence, male escorts and there to serve only you. They take your money, sure, but after that, you are free to imagine onto them any persona you wish. They will never dominate you. They let the girl’s mind take over.
3) They’re an empty canvas
Boybands are basically the male equivalent of a bimbo. They are not known for their smarts but for their tenderness, their willingness and ability to let your emotions flow and paint the picture as you wish. Each member usually embodies an archetype of female fantasy such as the bad boy, the boy next door, Latin Lover, etc.
4) They are innocent
I could write a take on Nick Carter alone. Men always complain that innocence, virginity and male inexperience are poopooed upon in society. This is not the case with Nick Carter, and the reason for that is two-fold:
I could write another take on this, but I would argue that women are overall more group-oriented than men, and thus value goals which benefit that. Boybands are group-oriented entities that promote friendship, love and harmony.
5) Showmanship
You can be a virgin and still possess showmanship. I think that’s what a lot of women mean when they say they want a man to be confident. You have to be able to entertain in a way that makes sense, that provides something of intrigue, and creates a positive or even transforming reaction in the audience.
6) They let us cultivate a parasocial romantic relationships
Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence. This, especially for young girls, is a way to prepare for future, real life experiences. On a psychological level, it becomes a scaffolding experience.
It’s obvious why the reasons I listed are appealing to teen and adolescent girls, people who are themselves not very experienced at life, sex, or romance. But why are a bunch of singing young men appealing to older women? Wouldn’t they want someone more rugged, more experienced candidates?
But it's also because:
6) Boybands are for everybody
Not just the beautiful, the pretty, the thin, the perfectly coiffed or the wrinkle-free. They are for the average woman to swoon and drool over, which is shown in their music videos. Even though they contain beautiful models, the model’s desirability and looks are not center stage.
Boybands also are often coached/choreographed by a very diverse crew. They are made to appeal to a diverse range of women. Nobody is too old, too fat, too slutty, too inexperienced to be able to partake in the bliss and frenzy which are boybands.
7) A bond between mother and daughter.
Boybands provide a platform for mothers and daughter (and even grandmothers) to connect. Together they can create fan paraphernalia, swoon over their good looks, listen to their music together and approve of their boy next door appeal which makes them into great potential boyfriends and sons-in-law.
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