1. Constantly expanding my knowledge
What I once thought to be my biggest distraction, I've started to grow a deeper appreciation for YouTube for its vast resources of handy, educational videos. Reading books have also been helping. Admittedly I'm not a book worm and never have been, but recently I find that adopting the practice of reading books actually helps me emotionally and mentally. I can't wait to grow my mind.
2. I smile at women
I know. This sounds uncanny but at times, I find that when I smile at random women I see in public, I feel good. When they smile back, even better—it's a beautiful feeling. I like that I'm not comparing myself anymore. Often society likes to portray women as constantly looking to tear each other down be it jealousy, competition or merely insecurity. After having smiled, even if sometimes I am greeted with a blank or grumpy stare, I know that at least deep inside mine was a genuine smile.
3. I don't care about how many likes I have gotten
Silly me, I used to care a lot back then. If I didn't receive tons of likes, I'd beat myself up for it. Ruin my day and mood over it. I'd take it as a challenge and post "sexier" pictures of me. Oh, I was caught up in the sea of validation.
Now... I couldn't care less about likes. I've also stopped looking at how many likes other chicks have gotten. I don't feel the need to compare myself anymore. It's like outright freedom, breaking away from my past insecurities and incorrect notions.
4. Not caring about rejection
Before, I used to play hard to get. Probably a bit too much, as I'd question myself in frustration. Then I came to realise that what I was doing was unhealthy. Yes, I was scared of rejection and yes, I was getting gratification from the fact that I had a bunch of dudes at my fingertips who were hungry for my attention. When some of them broke loose however and stopped messaging me completely, I'd find myself getting bummed out and letting that get to me for a long time.
Little did I know that constantly playing games was a sure-fire recipe to disaster—my ego would be bruised sooner or later anyway. Apart from my attitude towards dating, I hated those peer evaluation surveys at the end of every group project we were assigned. I was my own worst critic and I'd find myself thinking my group members probably despised me too. I felt I wasn't good enough, especially since I was a first year student and they were on their last year, close to graduation.
As our group got a distinction in the end, I would still think they probably found me useless. I'd dread getting the peer survey marks. And was constantly feeding myself with negativity. I was losing sleep over it. But guess what? My group members were actually satisfied and gave me full marks. I was the one playing myself all along. And even if they hadn't been happy, SO WHAT? Life was about getting feedback and using it to improve myself, not self-loathe and let others' opinion dictate me forever.
5. Walking and gym
I walk regularly; for instance, it takes me 30-45 minutes to reach university on a one-way journey. I live in a suburb and since the "affordable" supermarkets are far away in the city, I walk quite the distance just to stock up my groceries. I rarely take a bus. Last month, I finally signed up for a gym. I was tired of constantly making excuses.
Being underweight, I'd always feel insecure and was desperate about gaining weight. Growing up in a South Asian society, people would always have something to criticise about my weight and some would go as far as to accuse me of being anorexic. I was an ugly duckling that some felt sad for. I'd often catch myself telling myself I'd only go to gym after I'd put on XXX kilograms of weight—which was mostly bullshit because I wasn't even gaining weight.
Let's face it, I just sucked at disciplining myself to eat more and was also giving colossal fucks about what people think about me. I was embarrassed and fearing for no good reason. I wasn't focusing on the best possible outcome Instead, I was focusing on the worst. I learnt that my kind of fear was acquired and it was only holding me back. So what if people judged me at the gym? It was their problem, not mine. So what if others were muscular and had better bodies than the skinny, frail me? At least I was on the right path and my ass was finally at the gym.
Now I feel fitter and healthier. On a side note, I couldn't have done it all without listening to music.
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Thank you for reading :) Feel free to share what makes you feel confident down below too! I'm interested to hear. After all, everyone's different and has their own unique tactics. Cheers everyone.
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