Let say you meet a girl and you try to spark a conversation with her or become friends with her by talking about common interest you two may have. Say for example you notice she wears a pokemon shirt, and is avidly into it, maybe she's a walking dead fan or perhaps she likes games of thrones, whatever. Anyways, how come when a guy tries to befriend you girls by talking about a common interest that the 2 may share, if you don't find him attractive you act aloof as if you are not all into your geeky vices.
Example:
A girl I know:
Big walking dead fan and would not shut the fuck up about it when talking to me. When guys she doesn't find attractive try to talk to her about it, even if it's just to be friends. She acts disinterested in front of them like she doesn't really watch the show.
Say for example an unattractive male comes up to her like this:
If the dude just wants to make friends by sharing common interest with a girl (even if he did it initally because he found you cute and wanted to see if their was a shot) , why act so 2 faced to the guy?
[The funny thing is when girls get boyfriend they want them to watch and look at shows they like]
The women that do this do it because most women don't want to admit looks are extreemly important to them and most other women. Many women have no issue with treating a guy like total shit and labeling him a creep just so they don't have to admit they are rejecting him because he is not hot. Many women will take this to any level they need basicly so they don't have to admit the real reason they are rejecting a man. Many women don't care how the affect the guy and when the guy has no confidence to approch women anymore they spew total bullshit out their mouths about men needing to grow balls so they can approch women. Isn't it funny how this suits women so women don't have to take any responability for their actions. This is the selish and BS that comes out of many women's mouths. Not all women do this but many to most women do.
First of all, dating sucks and sometimes gender relations suck. You have to understand that when woman are partially blamed for rape it sends the message to keep more men at arms length & not take risks with anyone that may come across as a possible threat, which could just mean weird in any way. Yes, it sucks and isn't fair to a lot of guys but safety first. If the law and everyone else is putting you in charge of other peoples actions you have to be on guard. Some woman don't even realize they are doing because the behavior is taught at a young age and almost ingrained. Hence why some guys get written off on what you are referring to as looks... they more or less getting written off do to poor body language. What responsibility would you like them to take? Pretty sure when she says she's not interested in the show it's because it's the only way she sees to not potentially lead him on. There is no manual on how to stop unwanted attention you have to play by ear and do what works.
@WhatAreYouReading "Dating sucks!" is no excause at all for women behaving like this. I understand women need to protect themselves from people that are threaths to them but that does not really have anything to do with what I was saying. I am talking about the women that label men as creeps and treat the good men like shit just because they are not the best looking. That is different. In the situation I am talking about there is no excauses for women to behave like that. It is just shitty behaviour end of story. You say all this about women needing to stay safe and yes they do but women don't need to act how I said in the situation I said all that is is a woman that is a bitch. Most to all the women that do what I am talking about know excalty what they are doing and being on guard has nothing to do with what I am talking about either. It should not be taught or ingrained.
@WhatAreYouReading are not getting written off because of poor body language, some men might be but again what I am talking about is only a woman that thinks the guy is not hot and is calling him a creep or treating him badly because she does not want the world to see or admit herself why she is not dating him. What responablity do I want women to take they should be nice to the men that are not bad and not creeps. Think about this, would you still be saying what you are saying if it was the man doing to a woman what women do or would you be saying that the man is a jerk? There is no exause for women treating good men how I explained in an innocent situation, it is only because she does not find him hot. If you treat men like that then don't bitch and moan when men don't like because guess what men have every excause to hate a woman if she acts like this. It is shitty and poor behaviour from women. Women acting entitled.
@WhatAreYouReading you have said is total BS in realation to what I am talking about, trying to cover women's shitty behaviour up with pathetic cop-outs. Because that is what you are trying to do. There is no excause for this behaviour and women are responiable for their own actions not men and not anyone else. If a woman's actions are poor and men hate for it then it is not the man's fault or anyone elses. The only persons fault is that woman herself. Your comment on my opinon is the most BS I have ever read!
@WhatAreYouReading just to let you know women trying to make pathetic cop-outs for women that behave in shitty ways don't get away with it with me. That includes your pathetic cop-outs.
@WhatAreYouReading Like i have told you so many times now that it is not about the guy being a creep not the type of guys I am talking about. Some guys maybe but not the type I am talking about. The type of girl I am talking about is because they think he is ugly. I see it with my own eyes. Like I said if a man is not being a creep she should not call him one. If she is not interested she should let him know but there are ways to do that. A woman that tells a man to fuck off or labels him a creep when he was introducted to her by a friend and all he says is "Hi" and gets a "creep" reaction back is only shitty behaviour from the woman. There is a difference between telling someone you are not interested and the woman being a bitch about it. There are a lot of women that are bitches about it, bitches to the guys that are not creeps and these women do it because the guy is not hot in their eyes and that is only shitty behaviour by the woman and if men don't like her she is to blame.
@WhatAreYouReading I hear women say all the time men should not be shy to approach us women. I hear women say just come and talk to us. Well how can we when all we do is say "Hi" or something and get "fuck off", ingored, "NO!!!", "fuck off you creep" and other things like that from women just from saying "Hi". Then these women that do this say us men have no balls and we need to grow balls to approch women. Hmmmmm... I see good men that are friendly and never do anything creepy ever and don't stare at women's boobs or ass that get treated like this. Then I hear those very women say why are men giving up on dating and marriage and why don't they talk to us. Of course we won't if that is how we get treated because we don't know what is going to happen.
Well it sounds like you might be approaching the same group of women. I could be wrong, but I have never seen women say "fuck off" to someone for just saying hi. So maybe there is a common thread of women you are going for? I don't know.
Also, maybe it would be easier to wait to receive a signal from the woman first before approaching. It might, at least, give you more of an inkling that there could be interest? And if you don't get a signal or look back, you know not to go over... I don't know.
I'm not really sure if you can or should handle dating at this current time due to preconceived notions that all women suck. Now, obviously I could be wrong about this as well but your post carries a lot of disdain and anger with it. Maybe you just need a reflection period or something that will help build self-esteem. I'm not trying to mean in the slightest. Just trying to understand is all.
@WhatAreYouReading yes, well lots of women say things like that all the time to men just for a man approching them. Yeah, I already don't normally talk to women if she takes no notice of me at all. I don't think all women suck and I have never said all do but not all. In my posts all I am doing is saying how the majority of women treat us men or how a lot of women do. I don't mean to be offensive in anyway but just don't seem to get how badly other the majority of othe women treat men. I am not trying to offend but it is true. There is a girl I like but I don't even know if I am going to bother with her now.
Dating is not easy on either side of the spectrum not by any means and people over simplify it and almost romantize it by acting like the other side have it easier. Dating can suck all the way around. If your over dating I don't think there is anything wrong with staying down as long as you are happy. Dating isn't the end all be all... it just comes with a new can of issues -lol. I feel like I need to explain with my first post I was just trying to explain why woman may react some ways in certain situations because guys may not realize that it goes into a lot of what woman do and who they even want to talk to to begin with... not that the language is ever okay. Guys tend (to seem correct me if i'm wrong) be more like what's there is there, they look for direct signs, what you see is what you get, and woman see things through situations and body movements and perception. Things are different. And the vibes that some guys may be putting off aren't the vibes that she may be getting.
The main problem I think is that guys want to perceive that woman have it easier and woman perceive that men do. No one tries to see past their own experiences onto the other side and see what could really be going on. I've never seen anyone say F off but I'd lie if I said that I haven't wanted to. All the girls I know get the crudest things said to them and you have to be as nice as possible and just try to remove yourself from the situation, you have enough of that happen to you and when anyone comes over you just want to yell go away and it's not the persons fault who's coming over, you just can't take anymore right now. May sound great to you but it's anything but. I used to have a guy who would walk around my house every day and stand out front for hours. It started innocent enough, he was nice so I was nice back but it escalated so fast. And after you go through stuff your kind of skidish. You need a break but since your the one who gets hit on you don't really have that control.
@WhatAreYouReading yes, I already knew everything you just told me about dating. Yeah I get what you are trying to say. What I was trying to say is that this maybe true with some women yes but not all. If often only comes down to how hot the guy is. I have seen this often. I am sorry if I was agressive before but the way your message was worded sounded excatly like one of these women that thinks women can do no wrong, that even when a woman is wrong she is not and it must be the man's fault in someway and I thought not another woman like that. I am just so fed up with women that constatly blame men for everything even when they themselves are in the wrong and that was how it sounded at the start. I get that with some women the actions and body movements change how a girl acts as I read that type of stuff in women and how women act and it changes how I act to women. However, the women I can't stand is the women that say fuck off creep etc simply because he is not hot.
@WhatAreYouReading actually no it does not sound great to me. Women may have lots of crude things said to them but that is no excause for what women do back to men, innocent men as a result. Women are responabile for their own actions and if they treat a man like that then men won't like the woman and that is only that woman's fault. I hear rude and crude things said to innocent men all the time by women and there is only so much you can take. Us men also have problems to in life, not the same problems but different ones that are just as bad.
it doesn't change how woman act as much as it changes how the view the guy. He looks different it affects his attractiveness, he could be freaking Ryan Gosling but if he isn't holding himself right and he's letting all his insecurities fly he may come across as very unattractive so in that way you are right but guys can become more attractive. a lot of guys who think most girls are mean come across as very bitter so she's almost writing them off before they even talk. It's not looks as you perceive them to be, that woman necessarily see. Yes woman could be nicer when letting guys down, but how nice? There isn't a guide book and sometimes when you feed too much into something you can be inviting things that you don't want to be. It's easier to just shut it down as quick (and as normally as possible). I have been hit on at bars more recently when I go out with the friends and I am ashamed to say that I have been caught of guard and have ran away. Like sprinted. I don't know what to say so
I stand there for 15 seconds mouth agape before I just ran away. My communication skills were better at one point and it had nothing to do with them and now I'm feeling bad because now I'm thinking about how that may have effected them but I got freaked out and no words came (I thought I'd say something and I ended up running) and I needed to get away and find my friends. I got hit on like 15 times that night and while I behaved the worse that time it can be so overwhelming.
@WhatAreYouReading it depends on the woman. All I am saying is how hot or not a guy is changes how a lot of women act not all no but a lot. I am also right in the way that how hot a guy is matters to a lot of women. Again yes some guys are bitter but so to are some women. A lot of women just treat good men like shit when the man has done nothing wrong and is not bitter. A lot of guys who think girls are mean are correct in saying the girl is just mean because us men come across a lot of mean girls when we actually have done nothing at all to the woman. There are a lot of women that simply decide if they will date a guy only based on looks. We see it all the time in the woman's actions. You say it is not but it is looks a lot of the time. How nice? when women let innocent guys down they don't need to tell them to fuck off or fuck off creep. All they need to say is thank you but I am not interested. If a man was not nice in the way he rejected a woman most woman would call him an asshole
@WhatAreYouReading unless the guy is not taking a hint there is no need for a woman to say the things I was talking about. It is rude, crude and just shows the woman's shitty personality if she does end of story.
@WhatAreYouReading every man is different and this is what most women need to learn before they accuse men of what they are not and treat them how they don't deserve to be treated.
Applefan1 since you blocked me. Sorry if I offended you in any way.
And I am saying woman label guys as creeps because that is how they perceive them and that has to do with their body language most of the time, rarely how hot they are. You may think your acting nice and friendly but that may not be how she is taking it. In the OPs situation she was choosing to not engage out of disinterest... how is that doing anything to him, if anything it's not wasting either of their time. You would rather her do what in this situation?
I would rather women stop acting entitled and showing 1 face to one man they perceive is worthy to be in this world and acting like a totally different person to another person they deem to be trash because they just won't born with the right face, height or race.
Do you approach every woman you see? No because your not interested so why should she have to have long conversations with guys that approach that she is not interested in? There is no guide book when dealing with the other gender. Sometimes when your too nice it gets misread so it's easiest to just not engage. Even if she does it most likely won't change the fact that she isn't interested and may not be looking to make anymore friends.
"Do you approach every woman you see? No because your not interested so why should she have to have long conversations with guys that approach that she is not interested in?"
No but even if I'm not interested in a girl and she approaches me or we manage to get into a conversation, I don't try to social ostracize them and treat them like an outcast like women do to men. I'll just not pursue her for relationship/fuck her but still treat her nicely. Hence, the problem when it comes to woman.
a lot of men confuse being nice with flirting or being interested. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to talk to someone and the whole time try to make sure you aren't sending out too many signals that they could confuse with something else. Nothing is worse then having to say that you aren't interested. You have to be nice so their feelings get hurt but not too nice or you are welcoming unwanted attention. Hence, the problem when it comes to men.
Would of it been better if she said sorry I just really don't want to talk? She wasn't acting entitled, she was acting disinterested & just because she likes something it doesn't mean she wants to talk about it at length with who I am guessing is a stranger. Why do you feel like your feelings in the situation come above hers? Obviously she was uncomfortable and didn't want to have to put herself in the situation of having to explain her disinterest or to be accused of leading anyone on.
I personally don't see anything wrong with choosing not to engage someone in conversation. The only one who is coming off as entitled here is the one who feels she owed them something just because they decided to walk over.
Well fine but then women have no one to blame but themselves when men become misogynist/players/assholes to girls or straight up ignore you. So you girls need to stop bitching about how men don't want to approach, or ask you out on dates/only want friends with benefits relationships.
If woman are constantly hounding you and never leaving you alone & aren't taking hints by any means then by all means do what you have to to get them to stop. Most guys who are giving up on dating aren't hurting anyone but themselves. Goodluck Sir and Goodnight.
"Most guys who are giving up on dating aren't hurting anyone but themselves."
Explain how are they hurting themselves?
Continue dating/approaching (because let's be real most of y'all don't) and get ridiculed and confidence shut down and feel like social outcast, or put their energy/time into more productive things that make them happy.
If dating is making you unhappy then don't do it. Do what makes you happy. You deciding not to date effects no one but you, so if you want to date but think your spiting someone by not... you not. Your just effecting you. No one is going to be like "Wow, I wish that guy who hates dating & thinks it's okay to treat woman like scum because he was treated bad in the past is a catch. Wish I could have been with him." I am sure no one is missing out on that.
And if woman aren't even willing to talk to you how does one become a player or get a friend with benefits? I'm guessing if the person was capable of that they wouldn't be complaining about this in the first place.
the thing is, if you bond with a guy over something like TWD and explain that you're not interested when he shows interest, you're a "bitch" for "leading him on" like that. so girls try to be careful about showing enthusiasm around new guys they don't find attractive. we've been told that getting excited and happy looks like you're flirting even if you're not. most girls like your friend just don't want to lead someone on by accident.
She might not want to talk to him or might not feel comfortable geeking out about it to him. Or she could be trying to subtly send out the hint that she's not interested.
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