Why don't I have any empathy towards men that I find sexually attractive?

I love people and I'm a really empathic person I don't hate men I love my father and all the male friends that I have. But when I meet a guy and I start to have interest in him I suddenly get really annoyed buy everything they do and I loose interest quickly. I've only loved one guy ( still do ) but I was like this before I met him but it wasn't this bad. Its like I want a guy but I don't want him and, if its like that I can't see myself having sex with someone I can't stand. I'll have a crush on a guy and then when its finally mutual I can't stand him.
How can I stop feeling like this?


0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • I dunno, got no direct answers for you. Rummaging through various things I've learned over time, I can see a couple that might be halfway useful:

    -We can change how we think about things, but I don't think it's ever very wise to try and force yourself to feel a different way because you think it's how you *should* feel. Don't judge yourself for feeling something, judge yourself based on what you do about it.

    -It's totally human to want something more when you can't have it. Solution there probably starts with self awareness.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Also, empathy is when you understand how someone feels. Empathizing with someone, liking someone, and finding someone attractive are 3 different things that don't have to be hand in hand; I could completely get where an appealing gal is coming from and still not like her very much as a person, yanno?

    • Yeah forcing won't help uugghh its just frustrating you know

Most Helpful Girl

  • How many men have you encountered to say that

    0|0
    0|0
    • Show All
    • Yeah that makes sense I'll try that thanks

    • His personality traits. Not necessarily someone the same age as your father

What Guys Said 16

  • You need to get over that guy (you loved) and close that portal of your life cuz if you didn't close it, it will haunt you through out your life. You are only attracted to guys that are physically like him and you then assume. He would have personality like him unconscious but every guy is d/f. You are looking for reincarnation of your ex but that doesn't exist and you retreat from the game.
    You are 18 so don't worry, you have plenty of time to heal and move on. Just try to forget him.

    1|0
    0|0
  • go after guys that are right for u, sounds like you like their looks but not their true personality, so once they get closer and more open u realize its not what you want and pull away.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well it's normal (I think) because you are inclined towards that person sexually, you put a barrier between him and you so that your feelings are not hurt. :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well you said it.. you love one guy an you still do. there is your answer.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Because you think that they have perfect lives, but they don't.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You can't, It'll eventually go by itself. Only thing you can do is force yourself to continue talk to them and maybe it'll go.

    1|0
    0|0
  • My honest opinion, you seem to seek the "bad boy" image. Let me guess, the guy you loved was like that? Sorta sent you down that psychological roller coaster, very authoritative, loved you for x amount of time then backed off? Just a guess. But I think you need someone to tell you/make you feel a certain way through those actions.

    0|0
    0|0
  • sounds like you're using that as a defence, to keep from getting hurt.

    1|0
    0|0
    • No I wouldn't mind to find a guy that I can stand for at least 3 months.

  • I've only loved one guy (still do) is your answer. Get over him. You are comparing these guys to him constantly, even if you don't think you are, you are subconsciously.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm the same way.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well probably just scared to get close... So without realising it you automatically push them away, by getting annoyed by everything I guess

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're insane probably

    0|1
    1|0
  • Perhaps you're repressing being gay?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm straight it would be a better change that I'm bisexual because I'm sure I'm attracted to men.

    • Show All
    • *but I'm repulsed when I think about having sex with a woman.

    • Oh. Well then you're in for a hard time relationship wise.

  • Then you should date "unattractive" ones.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Girls like to f**k with men's feelings. No one should date these days

    0|2
    0|0
  • I'm the same way with girls don't worry its normal

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

Loading... ;