Girls, do you realize when it's just NOT going to work?

I swear, this question will appear a bit bitter, and maybe it is. But I can't comprehend, in my mind, the amount of times I went on a dating app and read girls wanting a REAL relationship because they're tired of games, liars, etc. Even on here, questions pertaining to it.

It's the same irl. At my job, I have girls that CONSTANTLY complain about their love lives to friends.

Do you realize that asking for a real relationship and going out with the cutest guy you can find, regardless of what you want is, well, hypocritical and nonproductive?

Of course guys do it, too. But ladies, do you reaslize how many good guys are out there that would treat you nicely, but this obstinance in your gender keeps them at bay, alone, disgruntled, and bitter?

Maybe it's just me ranting, but, I've noticed this pattern and it kind of makes me angry.

I'll give you a rl example. This girl at work knows I like her, has no problem with me, like I'm not ugly in her mind, but she apparently wants something real. She was on a break from relationships for awhile, and the first guy that comes along that looks like a Calvin Klein model, she goes out with. The next day she's talking to her friend about what a real relationship is and that this guy doesn't get it.

Now... I'm thinking, does she have a right to complain if she didn't put more thought into the relationship? And do you girls get it, that if you pick a so-called stud, regardless of principles, no rhyme or reason, that you're enabling arrogant tendencies, or do we just want something to complain about to make life more fun?

(And, no, I'm not butt-hurt the girl didn't go out with me. Im simply bringing to light a pattern I've noticed and would care for answers.)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, let me ask you this question. What criteria are you going on with this girl for yourself? Why do you like her and want to give her a go? It sounds like she is superficial and is not a good judge of character and makes bad choices. Sounds like she is not someone who you would or should want a relationship with.
    Also attraction can not be forced. There were plenty of men who I thought were physically gorgeous but I didn't have one bit of attraction for. I couldn't force myself to be turned on by them.
    Then there was the intelligent guy who was not a calvin klein model who I was totally attracted to.
    You should just move on to another woman who wants you. If she sees you giving your attention to another woman while totally cutting off attention to her... you will see a change in her real quick.

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    • I guess from reading your and others' opinions I haven't put as much thought into her as maybe I should have.

      The criteria for liking her was limited, and Im feeling I deserve a lot better.

      Thanks for your input.

    • Hell yeah you deserve a lot better! You have a lot of love to give so be sure to give it to the right person. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 20

  • Yup, plenty of girls do. Especially with the plethora of self-proclaimed 'nice guys' who illustrate just how nice they are by spamming the internet with rants about how girls have standards they can't manage to satisfy.

    'But ladies, do you reaslize how many good guys are out there that would treat you nicely, but this obstinance in your gender keeps them at bay, alone, disgruntled, and bitter?'

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  • What do you like about that gir? I see as you too choosing asshole girls, instead of a sweet girl. Do you like her constant ranting about how she should be treated? Do you like that she is fake? or do you like that you got rejected by her?

    It seems to me that what you accuse women of doing is what you do too.

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    • then all you gotta do is trial and error. You see someone's true ugly color you leave them.

    • @IcyLemonaid I was played by guys that disguised themselves as good guys too. It's hard to weed them out sometimes and is very frustrating when you're not playing games.

  • Both genders have a tendency to want... everything. That’s a human condition. Just because a guy is cute that doesn’t automatically mean that he’ll be a bad partner. People are picky, they go after what they feel attracted to... and looks are the first thing you notice about a person. I agree that people of both genders would probably have an easier time finding the right mate if they focused less on appearances, but this is by no means an issue that is exclusive to females.

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  • Yeah, you definitely sound bitter.

    Someone being attractive doesn’t mean that they’re going to be an asshole. And part of a successful relationship is being attracted to your partner.

    Perhaps you’re not as attractive a mate as you think you are. You might want to work on that bitterness, for a start.

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    • So, my looks explain a pattern I've found in a majority of my experiences with the other gender?

      Not quite the answer I'd expect.

      "I dont want to even consider going out with anyone unless they're a calvin klein model look alike."

      So just be honest about it is more my point. That is not a real relationship, by the way, that is a relationship that starts on the basis of the other person's looks being so good to blind you to every other intelligent factor that makes a relationship work.

      If you want superficiality, just say so. Be honest. Dont act moral and get on your uppity high horse about "real" when you are looking for skin deep.

      In any case, I think you prove my point, thanks.

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    • I'm just really scarred. I gave of my soul many times and have received a lot of hurt as a result. To me, it seems a great injustice that I need closure for.

    • Alright then. Please take care and thank you.

  • I recently went for a guy who wasn't sexy as fuck and he did everything to put up road blocks to know me. He's hairy, no hair, has some shitty illness. I didn't even care about all that. I thought he had a adorable smile, and had unique interests and I really wanted to get to know him. Even when us girls look past the physical and material, guys easily reject us anyways. I've actually had more success with hot guys than not so hot guys.

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  • And this is apparently what MGTOW is all about, or so I'm told by a friend who is.

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    • I didn't even think of that when I wrote this. :o

      Although I don't want to be affiliated with MGTOW. I rather appreciate the females I encounter, I'm just looking for a rational reason for irrational behaviour. Perhaps, the err is mine and I should just leave it at that.

      I just needed to post this for closure.

    • You're not wrong. Lots of women these days won't settle for less than perfect or impossible.

  • Ok. I spent 25 years with a man I didn't find very physically attractive. But he was a nice guy which attracted me. But I didn't feel a great sexual passion toward him which left me not wanting sex or he couldn't get me to orgasm very often. I was really only having sex with him to please him. It became a chore. And I honestly think he could feel I wasn't sexually into him. He eventually cheated. Now I'm with someone I am physically attracted too and omg! I can't believe what I was missing out on. I want to have sex all the time with him. But he's also a good loyal guy. It is possible to have both sexual and emotional passion with someone. And we could settle like I did the first time but it caused problems that left our relationship doomed.

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  • I know it’s not going to work when he makes weird excuses to see me. Or when he claims that he is really into me but his actions are different. He acts shady and I only see him once a week or two weeks. It’s never constant.
    It is unfortunate that some people fall into appearance instead of personalities. Falling into JUST appearances leads you astray, from the right person that really needs to come into your life to make it better. Not every girl is the same. 🙂

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  • This does sound very bitter, if she’s not attracted to you you can’t force her to be. Girls do complain about it a lot, from what I’ve seen, but those are girls.
    Maybe you should look for women.

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    • Aye. Point taken. Immaturity is what turns me off then, you think?

    • Immaturity might be a part of it, more like lack of self respect and self confidence. Complaining about ones love life in that way is a sign of fishing for someone to reassure you, which is a key sign of no self confidence. The mature, confident women I know don’t do that xP

  • Meh, I *get* what you're saying, but I do think it's unfounded the majority of the time. One thing people tend to overlook is when we are looking up at people going "oh why don't the date me?" someone else is doing that exact same thing to us. And it's a cycle where we notice the negative trends more obviously because it's something that plays on our ego and emotions.

    But that's a lot of word vomit. Speaking for myself, I'm only going to go after someone I find attractive. And THAT is multidimensional. Sure, physically I gotta like them. But mental and social stimulation is where it's really at, and if I feel that connection of "yo, he gets me", THAT is the thing that's gonna make me like him and want to invest emotionally. Because I can see how we complement each other and how we can benefit from one another's influence. Nice guys are great. Nice attractive guys are great. But niceness isn't what compatibility is built on.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Girls just complain nowadays and sleep around and think that they dont have to have effort to be with someone that can treat them right. Seen it litterally 20 times here in australia. Girls are hard as to get and sleep around with surfer guys. Same shit. Just stupid. I struggle to get girls #s here cause they think they can do better because of fuck boys.

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  • Sexual attraction is one of the first things that spark relationships. Girls don't want a relationship where they're treated nice, they want one where they feel happy and both sides of that coin need to be fulfilled. If you're worried about one side, work on it. Nobody owes us anything, we are the ones to blame if girls pick other guys instead of us.

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