Do girls enjoy keeping a guy interested in her even when she's not?

I met this girl (along with her friend) a month ago while stuck at an airport where we spent two days, had a nice time. Later while having a friendly chat I asked her out and she instantly said yes, then she was like should I get my friend too ( I said sure), she then told me she was busy that week and would plan the next week. I didn't hear back for 2 weeks. Even later when we she texted me and we had a casual chat she didn't bring that up, I didn't bring it up so as to not make her uncomfortable or sound desperate. If she doesn't want to go out with me why can't she just say it? I have a tough time trying to forget people and moving on. P. S. This is the first time I've asked a girl out. Very discouraging.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Only if they are attention seekers. I don't why she said yes if she wasn't really interested, it's rather pointless to do that and it's leading people on. Maybe she really meant it but it just got to busy or maybe she changed her mind. Anyway, just don't speak with her anymore, that's the only way you'll be able to move on easier since moving on is difficult for you. And it might be discouraging, but look on the bright side: You took a chance and asked a woman out for the first time. Give yourself a huge hand clap for that cause you built up courage in yourself, this wil help you when you meet another woman you're interested in.

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    • At this point, I expect this with girls. This has happened literally every time I have chased a girl.

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    • Honestly I don't know how to get a girl to consider me

    • @SportsFan78 just give it some time, you're 18.. you have plenty of time to get a girlfriend.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You might be approaching this relationship the wrong way. Are you positive she didn't misunderstand when you asked her out? Given that she asked if she should get her friend, it doesn't sound like she thinks this is a romantic relationship. Also don't approach women as relationship targets. Women are people too. You can be just friends with a woman, which is probably what she thinks is happening. You had a friendly chat, you asked if she wanted to go out sometime and she mentioned bringing a friend, and now you text from time to time. Sounds like a casual friendship to me. Make sure you clearly state your expectations. Communication is key for every kind of relationship.

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    • I did clearly ask (just) her out to which she said "Yeah, done!". It was only later she asked if I thought she could get her friend too (her friend that I met with her before), I was even cool with that. Thanks for the detailed reply though.

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    • Hmm.. makes sense. The only part that lacks clarity is why she didn't bring the plan to meet for coffee/movie up and I think I must directly ask her how she feels about me as you said.

    • I would just assume she forgot. Give people the benefit of the doubt. She was traveling and setting up classes, and all her plans were likely delayed by bring stuck in an airport for 2 days. Who knows what's running through her head. She could be a busy person and it might have slipped her mind.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 18

  • I agree with some posters. Women just love attention in in the long run. I’ve known some friends of mine keep guys lingering because they can

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    • Well tell them they're disgusting

    • They are disgusting and validate a man raping them and make a good case for pro rape.

  • You did great for a 1st time asking someone out. But unfortunateĺy, you asked out "the wrong" type of girl. She either couldn't say no to your face cause she didn't want to hurt you, or as the others are saying, she's just keeping you for the attention, to make herself feel better cause she's too insecure.

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    • Thanks Kenni, I think you're very right. At least you gave me a reason to not stop trying.

    • Yes. Please do not let her stop you.

  • Women love attention, even if they have no intentions of being with that person, just feels good to be wanted

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    • it validates rape

    • Yeah that's not right, girls shouldn't do that. Just like how women and girls are calling out about sexual assault, a man's feelings shouldn't be toyed with for her benefit or pleasure.

  • Hi! I am just giving my opinion here, I hope not being wrong. So, if she replies your messages and still talks to you is good. When you asked her out, she understood you perfectly, but she didn't want to go on a date. That is the reason why she told you about her friend, it is a way to say that she didn't want a date. What I would suggest you to do is to ask her out like friends, just to have fun, with no pression, but if possible just you two. So if she consider you her friend, she will have to accept that. Then, the rest is on yours:)

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  • I dont know but if im not interested i will tell him the moment he asks with o hesitation. I find pretending very boring and time comsuming. I have better things to do.

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  • Probably isn't the type to communicate her feelings in a mature way and wants you to just figure it out on your own.

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  • Yes girls often do that because they like attention and a guys attention gives them a good ego boost

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    • no excuses for that and it would validate rape.

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    • It would provide a valid case for pro rape, basically a woman has no excuses for messing with men like that and it would justify him raping her.

    • it would make the rape valid.

  • It sounds like she may have changed her mind but still wants to be friends with you.

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  • Some girls do string guys along just for the extra attention! But I wouldn't get discouraged it took a lot of strength to ask someone out and you should be proud that you even took the steps to do that!

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  • You've only known her for a very short amount of time.
    Everyone is different, but if I was her, the reason why I might have acted the way she did was because I thought you weren't "bad" - as in I wasn't completely fallen into you, but I could see myself liking you in the future if things went in the right direction and you turned out to be a genuinely nice guy that I get along with.
    In other words, I didn't find you attractive at first sight, but you weren't bad enough to just say no

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  • It's flattering at first, but I always make sure that they don't have any kind of expectation. Sometimes some don't get it, and it becomes annoying that they insist too much. I don't really enjoy it honestly.

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  • No I tell that guy I’m not interested that’s all. We’d be wasting our time, no time for that

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  • I mean, I don't... but I'd be lying if I said some girls didn't do this. In fact, most girls I know do this on purpose because they like being desired.

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  • She may think you changed your mind since you haven't brought it up again.

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    • Hmm, I was thinking I'd appear desperate if I asked her again. I think I'll just ask her one last time about her feelings for me

    • No, honestly, you should forget her. Especially if she asked if she could bring a friend. That says it all.

  • yes! well at least i do it... it makes me confident that a guy likes me.

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    • But it really sucks for a guy. I think it's very mean to play with someone's feelings.

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    • @markxcds nope

    • @aaaae2e nothing wrong being sensitive, you yourself said you think you've been treated unfairly. We might be sensitive but you are THE BITCH.

  • Yes, could be that she only likes the attention.

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  • Sometimes if the attention they give is nice

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  • Maybe she’s legitimately busy. It seems like jobs want you to work surprise overtime constantly now.

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    • But that was when both of us were on vacation. I wait for her response for a week more than she said she'd get back to me. She didn't even bring this up later when we had a chat about something else.

    • You could always ask once more to be sure. Then, if she blows you off, just stop chatting with her.

What Guys Said 8

  • I can tell you from experience that hell yes, they do, and they might even be a little bit interested in you but if they are interested in other guys at the same time that's a problem

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  • If that's true, then I'd better step away for dignity's sake

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  • yes the do this and by doing it they validate rape.

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  • She used you for entertainment at the airport
    Sorry dude, I know it sucks

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  • yes many, not all of them, do

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  • No..

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  • Girls love having beta-orbiters.

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  • They do in the same way some men string women along but this doesn't sound like your situation.

    Once could be legitimate. Any number of things can change a plan. Ask her again (or to simply reschedule).

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    • It's a bit different. Men might string women a long for sex. Give her signs that he's serious about her, just to keep her interested in him so that he can have sex with her.

      Women usually just string guys on for attention in order to boost their ego.

    • @Kkaos It's not different. Men who use when like that and string them along get an ego boost that the women wants to have sex with them. I’ve l know one guy who strings a woman along in case of a “dry spell”.

    • I think it's 90% him wanting to have sex at least.

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