How do you say "I'm not interested" without hurting girl's feelings?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I usually say "I'm sorry, but we can't be together" (mostly because I'm taken) without reason of disinterest to not sound rude (or rude impression), then if they ask maybe say why...
    When I was little I usually said "I don't like you" or "I don't want to be with you", quite rude maybe 😅 bad emotions in return!

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    • Ah! It works with boys but sometimes with girls too!

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    • That's great! You're a sweet person : )

    • Political_dude is kind, thanks 🙂

Most Helpful Guy

  • My best take is to just be honest.
    Some people think honesty is tied to rudeness, but it doesn't have to be the case.
    If you are relaxed and articulate your words properly, it will be fine! :D
    If things don't go as expected, remember that you did your best, therefore it's not really your fault.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 36

  • Realistically you can't go without hurting her feelings. It's disappointing. If its someone who doesn't even know you it would just bruise her confidence for a little bit, she'll get over it. If she's really into you and worked herself up enough to have the nerve to tell you her feelings. Its not going to feel good when you turn her down. Just as if the genders were reversed. However you can make it easier on her by saying and reacting the way the other women here have suggested. There's no perfect way to turn someone down, you should just be nice about it.

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  • With guys, i feel like it's best to be direct, but with girls you should be careful not to hurt her feelings. It's not good to lie, but sometimes it's for the best. So, you should tell her you have someone else on your mind, you just got out of a relationship, etc. Just don't say, "I'll think about it" or something and make her wait.

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  • Say “youre a beautiful girl... (its ok to lie lol)... but you're not my type” OR “thats sweet that you're interested in me but i like someone else at the moment”

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  • Even if she is not really hurt, she wil be a little disappointed, at least that’s what happens to me. It is flattering to know someone is interested in you mostly, and when someone is not, you may feel a little broken even if you don’t have feelings.

    I think the best, at least for me, is to be straightforward, honest, and polite. Don’t beat around the bush, or don’t make up excuses. It’s simple: I don’t really feel the spark. You don’t need to find an excuse like it’s not me it’s you you’re so awesome blah. It angers me generally when someone is not honest.

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    • I know you and I had major differences on a different take but I completely agree with you on this one.

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    • You call me an "idiot" and then accuse me of calling other people names. Great logic there. You also told @valiant that she was "rubbing up against the dicks of the 20 men who upvoted that opinion (now 120+)" as opening insult. You then cowardly started reporting other people's comments to GAG. Of course the moderators (who often favor liberals) got your back here.

      Now I actually take a moment to agree with you on a different topic and you start bitching again.

      You ma'am are the definition of a liberal. You can dish it out but can't take it.

    • @somewheresomeway i didn't call you idiot. l at all.

      I called that girl idiot, because apparently she thinks she is some kind of shit. And she starts giving names to other people because clearly she doesn't understand what she reads clearly.

      I am not bitching about you agreeing with me on a topic.

      i am stating that we have not even talked about the previous thing to understand each other and our PoVs and reasons. And therefore, i don’t think you have any right to claim “totally different opinions” without trying to empathize, talk abd understand.

      Simple as that. If you see this as bitching, go ahead, be friends with and keep tagging your little friend on my posts.

  • This is definitely a situation where honesty is best. While someone's pride might be hurt briefly, being straightforward is much kinder than stringing her along.

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  • Honestly, there really isn't any way for you to tell her without her getting hurt. No matter what you might say, she will still feel upset but there isn't really much you can do except give her space. The important thing is that you say SOMETHING rather than keep her guessing. I've had crushes on guys and when I told them, they either said something ambiguous like "oh, sick" or not say anything but tell everyone. The best you can do is tell her gently but firmly, and don't start telling everyone about it. Nobody wants to be called out for liking someone, trust me I've had experience.

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  • say "i'm flattered, but i'm currently not looking for a relationship of any form for my own personal reasons. i hope you wil be understanding."

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    • this way you are honest, straightforward, you ain't dragging along anyone, and you don't seem like a simp trying to justify your position.

  • You do not hurt girls feelings with that you just do them a pleasure. I know it sounds perhaps harsh but it is that way.

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  • If you tell her either way she'll be upset, l'd maybe try and distance yourself or act in away or say something to put her off you from her and if that don't work tell her something like she's deserves better than you, even if you don't mean it, at least you haven't crushed her ego and will show you still care about her even if you're not romantically interested

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  • She will still end up hurt. Just tell her now so you don’t prolong the pain.

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  • Say it like I’m sorry I don’t think I’m interested in a relationship rn and give a reason or else she will be pissed

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  • I think try to come out with it and reason been honest
    If she has interest in you it will hurt any way you take so just be honest about it with taking spins on it

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  • "I'm not interested" will hurt feelings the least.

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  • Be honest and speak in a nice way not blunt. It will hurt anyway but at least you will be maintaining your decency from your part.

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    • what if he is the blunt type? why sugar coat things? we girls shouldn't be that "sinsitive (aka prideful)"

    • @levantine99 I did say that the blunt rejection or gentle rejection both hurt equally. I said that he should be gentle on HIS part because that's what a human being with commonsense should do.

  • Say i think you are beautiful and an amazing person yet unfortunately right now i need to focus on myself

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  • If she likes you it will hurt no matter what. But be straight up with her and don't lead her on.

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  • It won’t hurt her, but sure will disappoint. Nothing you can do. Just don’t lead her on if you’re not interested, that’ll definitely hurt her

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  • I don't think you can really.

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  • Tough, I don’t do, which had put me in a awkward position.

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  • Be honest and polite about. Tell her you don't see her in any other way but as a good friend. Or if she's not your friend, tell her you're not interested, you're with someone. If that don't work then try my favorite thing to say when letting a guy down easy, that you're focusing on yourself and dont want anything rn.

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  • Just be direct. There is no way that is less painful.
    She will be upset but it is good to be honest. Otherwise you will give hopes which goes nowhere.

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  • it will hurt her feelings either way, just try not to beat around the bush i guess

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  • You can't. She will accept reality but there is no way she's not hurt. But it's not your fault. Still, you have to say to her. If you didn't say it she will hurt more.

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  • I would say just ghost her. do not reply to her text messages. leave her on read. if she asks you again then reply with short sentences.
    tell her you're not single.
    tell her you are not looking for a relationship atm.
    tell her you are moving
    etc...
    its so easy she'll get it!

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    • I also got a question. Did you show any interest to begin with? Did you tell her you liked her and now you got bored or lost interest? because girls don't show interest unless guys give them the green light that they are interested.

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    • I thought I was very clear :-/ . Anyways, rejection hurts in any case. Just like @levantine99 said, a strong heart is the result of getting over painful experiences. If a rejection is too painful, then how are you going to move on from experiences way worse in life?

    • @Imperra people are different.

  • Tell her "i don't have feelings for you"

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  • Use these:
    "You are not my type" or
    "I'm not ready for a relationship"

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  • I don't think you can lol

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  • Just try and let her down a little easy not to much because that makes it worse so be like I’m sorry and all that

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  • I don't think you can 9/10. But if you tried you should be like I am not interested in you right now because I have a lot going on and I don't want to bring you into it or bring you down because of it.

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  • Tell her that you have a girl friend already

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What Guys Said 40

  • Essentially, you protect her by making it about something that has nothing to do with her:

    -Saying you aren't single
    -Saying you are not ready for a relationship right now
    -Saying you are too busy to date
    -Saying you're moving soon

    If I were sure she is confident enough to handle the truth, I'd prefer to give that to her, but if she clearly has self-esteem or other problems, I'd tell her one of the above so she doesn't feel bad about herself.

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  • Everyone will react differently to even the nicest way of rejecting. Personally when I reject, I usually say “this is so much to take in, I don’t know what to say, I need a couple of days to think about this.” This not only buys me some time to come up with a official polite rejection but it also gives her the hint that I’m not interested. When I see her again I’ll tell her “Look, right now I don’t think I can make a relationship work. I rather have you as a friend than risk our friendship falling apart for trying to take the next step, i’m sorry.”

    This method has always worked for me but I don’t know if it will work for everyone.

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  • That's like asking how to tell someone that their mother died without messing then sad. Is not possible. Just make sure you do it respectful and maybe give her a reason why.

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  • I could posit this questions to guys and get the same reaction: regardless of intent, the outcome will be the same--rejection. Rejection stings, regardless of who it happens to, so when you ask how to do it "without hurting girl's feelings", you're asking the wrong question. The right question to ask is "how much will it hurt" and that answer is entirely dependent on her composure and temperament when you "drop da bomb", because it's not going to be better afterwards.

    Regardless of the manner in which rejection is carried out, it is one of those domains of human emotion where the magnitude of the affect of the person rejected will always be maximally-negative, relative to their stress tolerance. There is no such thing as a person taking rejection "well", only walking away with varying degrees of frustration. Depending on how invested in you the other party is, at best they become indifferent and at worst, they become explosively volatile.

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  • No matter what you say you're going to hurt her feelings, nobody likes to be rejected. You just have to do it in a respectful way. If you approached a person and they denied you, what would you want them to say to you, try looking at it that way. I'd probably go for something like "I'm sorry, I think you're... *insert how you honestly feel*, but I'm just not interested in you that way. *and then if you really wanted to, you could add something about being friends*. That's about the best you can do. Honest hurts, but it's better than leading them on.

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    • I'd cry on the spot if anyone said that to me. Not cuz its mean but its just overwhelming. like
      "ur amazing and so fun but i dont like u that way"
      id be like "THEN WHATS WRONG WITH MEEEE"

  • Try this: "I'm not interested."
    Maybe her feelings are hurt, maybe not. There is no alternative in which you lie that hurts her any less. Be a man and be honest. Anything less is the act of a cowardly liar.

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  • I'll just talk to her in private and, tell her that, I don't trust her/know her enough to be in a relationship with her. She could always be my friend and, we could know each other a little more for me, to change my decision.
    Most girls would understand. But, if she's impatient, she wasn't worth me in the first place.

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  • "Don't be offended, but I don't really have those kinds of feelings for you. More like friends or family. Hope you understand."

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  • I like to say that "I am not qualified to be with you" because they never heard something like that in that sense and its professional which saves them from get their feelings hurt.

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  • Just be honest

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  • You don't. Rejection sucks so you're best off being honest and saying you don't feel anything beyond platonic about her. Rejecting her now is much worse than leading her on.
    If she gets angry or bitchy, pat yourself on the back for dodging a bullet.

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  • It will always hurt.

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  • No matter what, a "no" will hurt their feelings. Just say it honestly.

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  • I become oblivious to all kind of signals

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  • Say I'm not interested with kindness.

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  • be straight forward, but polite. if you don't have feelings enough for her, say her that. its not your or her fault, its just how it is. if you're absolutly sure, say her that as well. nothing hurts more than a break up when you give your ex a little hope but you know already there's no chance for you both.

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  • Just say "leave me alone"

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  • I'm sorry I think I'm gay. You may have to get touchy Feely with one of your mates, she might not believe you.

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  • You don't. You can minimise damage by telling her right away.

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  • Am sorry, am married.

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  • "I'm sorry but I'm just not attracted to you."

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  • I try to keep myself as busy as possible

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  • If I have interest, I do something. There is no sense to be friends or ignore if I have no interest at all. No feelings, no relationship at all.

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  • Streak naked in her presence whilst drooling all over yourself

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    • I once put in a big wad of chew in front of a girl that kept pursuing me that I wasn't attracted to (quit the dip years ago). Thought that would do the trick, but it didn't even phase her.

  • I have other priorities right now. Hope you will understand

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  • Be polite and straightforward; not much you can do about her feelings.

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  • Well, you have to tell. She ll find out anyway.

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  • Just leave themselves

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  • I don't know. I hardly ever get hit on by anyone except for big fat cows. It's always the obese women who hit on me. I hate people.

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  • say, "you better go fu*k a dildo."

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