Should I just end it?

married 6 years, together for 11... never had loyalty or trust issues until he became addicted to meth. I have fought the battle of addiction with him, for our daughter, for 2.5 years, multiple lies and infidelity. Only in the past few months have I thought realistically about being with another man. I can't trust my husband no matter how hard I try. Is it over? Any advise on how else I could try to love him again..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From my own humble point of view, it sounds and looks as if you need to revive yourself with someone else.
    This subject is greater than all of us.
    A simple suggestion won't really matter,
    Since you should ask yourself one simple question, and that is: "Do I really want to love him again?"
    If the answer is yes, ask yourself whether you think he will embrace it and might change his behaviour..
    If the answer is "no", ask yourself whether you see yourself with someone else..
    I truly think you must cut it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Is he clean? Or is he still battling?

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    • I believe it is a never ending battle... he says he is clean and in recovery, but I can't say with confidence.

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    • You give good advice, thank you.

    • Thanks and best of luck to you

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • Yes of course. You tried and it didn't work. You're past the point of being able to help him and if you stick around, you're putting you and your child's life in danger. So get out of there. You did what you could. You owe him nothing, so it's time to go. You'll make a better future for you and your son. Everything will be okay.

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  • If he's recovering give him a chance. Not a big one. Give him an ultimatum, say you're tired of fighting his battle whilst also fighting your own, and you need to take precedent in your own life even if you don't in his.

    The risk is that he is in recovery and you leaving will send him straight back on the meth... Let him know any more slip ups and you're gone

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  • Sorry to hear this. I think for you and your well-being and definitely your daughters you need to get out. Meth is a terrible Thing and will make a person do unthinkable things. Why people even try this crap is unfathomable to me.

    Go and make a ne life and be happy. For your self and your daughters.

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  • He's going to need to go through rehab and therapy if he wants to clean up. Marriage counseling would help a lot. However, it only works if both of you are committed to repairing your marriage.

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  • Many people in my family have a weed addiction and a friend of mine had her dad leave cause he did crack honestly drug addicted relationships can't work

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  • Yeah as unfortunate as it is, he has to be the one to improve. If he hasn't made the effort in 2.5 years it is time to move on.

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  • You seem like u r realistic if you see that he will never be able to recover or be the man he once was. Leave him its not even good for ur girl to live around addicts

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    • He seems to be in recovery but I can't say that with complete confidence. Hard to end such a long relationship on "what ifs".

    • Then hardup and stick with him let him know u r there to help and that ur very strict and strong (in a good way)

  • You'll be better of. It may sound scary in the beggining but you'll be happier after. And anyways you can't really rely on him anymore :(

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  • Maybe you should have done anonymous? Never know if someone you know may recognise you and tell him

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  • Get him some professional help

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  • Your life? perhaps

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  • Personally wouldn't stand for it

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  • Yeah

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  • you're unlucky

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  • End it

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  • Hi. See first if u can help

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  • Absolutely end it

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What Girls Said 3

  • Something to think about is, this is his addiction not yours. You have given your time and effort in attempting to help like a partner should but at this point if you stay it becomes a family "addiction". Which is not healthy for yourself or daughter and can drain a person to a point of no return.

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    • I believe I've started to feel the drainage.. it is a daily exhaustion. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

    • I haven't been in your position but have known people in similar situations and have watched life drain out of them. Its heartbreaking. Whatever you decide will not be easy but you will know you have made the right decision when it feels like a ton of weight has been lifted off of you. I wish you the best and stay strong for yourself and daughter. :)

  • I have been with an addict. I was with him for 4 years. He lied, he cheated, his addiction poisoned us. He wasn't very responsible with his kids, he said he'd stop and never wanted to make things work. Addiction hurts the addict, but it hurts everyone else involved too. Addicts only change for themselves and nobody can make them. Their kids, spouse and family do not matter sadly. Their addiction controls them. Have you tried getting them into councilling or rehab? I'm sorry you're going through it. That was my life at one point.

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  • It's over. It's better both for you and your kid.

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