A close friend is not ready to meet me yet after forgiving me after an argument. We chat frequently, but she needs time. What is holding her back?

Early in the summer I fell out with a with a close friend because I told her I had feelings for her for a long time. She ended our friendship because she was disappointed in me for being so dishonest with her.
Recently though she has forgiven me. She asked me out for a stand up performance a couple weeks ago. Now though, she says although she has forgiven me, and although we chat frequently, she is not ready to meet me yet. What do you think is holding her back?

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What Girls Said 1

  • It’s always a struggle when someone likes you and you can’t reciprocate the feelings. I was great friends with a guy, and we would talk often. After a while he was different, caring, and he wanted to hang out. He eventually told me he liked me. He was so kind to me, and I enjoyed my time with him, but I just couldn’t see him as anything more than a friend. I was torn apart because he had done all these nice things for me... and for what? I couldn’t reciprocate how he felt. And I felt guilty and stressed. He was a nice person with relationship trauma. I didn’t want to feel responsible for making him feel bad after finally opening up to people. So I agreed to go on dates with him. I felt even worse for leading him on. I thought maybe just hanging out would make him happy.

    I don’t know the whole story, and it may not be like this at all. But I can say that she may just not want to see you due to personal confliction. She may not know what’s the “right way” to go about things with you after you’ve confessed your feelings. She may even fear the fact you like her, and can’t face you in person if she realized she’s led you on. I think if you really want to know what to do, you should ask her about the situation. If she distances herself, she may feel like she’s in the wrong. If it comes down to it, tell her you want things to go back to the way they were before you confessed, if you guys were better off then. It may make her feel better.

    I hope this helps, feel free to message me for more of my thoughts.🙂 good luck

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What Guys Said 1

  • It can take time for a person who feels lied to, to get past the feelings of anger and distrust. That may be part of the issue.

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    • She is not angry at all with me anymore though. She is very clear about that

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