Once in a while we Meetup and hang out in person but I almost feel like when I open up to my friend about my insecurities she kinda uses them to look down on me. When I hang out with her in person I get a very strong negative vibe like she is judging me on my looks and trying to make me feel less than her.
I don't know how to explain it but I have many friends and some friends when I leave them they make me feel so wonderful. I even sleepover at my friend's houses sometimes, we stay up, chat, watch movies and have fun. Then the next day when we wake up we look all crazy and messy. Messy hair etc. But those friends are awesome and never ever make me feel uncomfortable about myself.
Then there's this friend who when I'm with her I feel like she is judging every part of my body and face. Its even uncomfortable to laugh or eat with her. It almost feels like she is using me for her own validation because she's very insecure about herself even though I think she's Gorgeous.
I have struggled with self esteem issues as well and am still trying to get better day by day. I get compliments every day from strangers telling me I'm pretty or beautiful or have a nice face but I don't think it's true at all and the way my friend makes me feel just makes me think all these people are either blind or lying to me. I'm not anything special.
Also I told my friend about this guy who asked me out and I was so shocked that he likes me etc. because he's so handsome bla bla bla.. im not that pretty. And she said he probably likes your personality that's why. Also making me feel like yeah it's not your looks. I don't know why do people look down on other people? And why is she doing this to me? What to do?
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