Why am I so stuck on him?

Hey guys, I just wanted to ask for your opinion on why I can't seem to get my mind off of a guy who I had been seeing on and off for the past 10 months. He attends the same college as I do. He's in the military, training with ROTC on campus and wants to pursue special forces (I think) in the Army. As for me, I'm studying biology and want to get a career where I can travel freely and often, helping many people, and will probably work with children. We met in an introductory philosophy class last year in March, and we marched together for the St. Patrick's Day Parade with our school. We have a few memories together that I will always remember, like going on a hike to the Hudson River by his house and just hanging out at his dorm. When I went abroad, I always had him on my mind, so much so my friends got annoyed at how often I talked about him. When he went abroad a few months after I came home, he kept telling me how much he had missed me and wanted to see me ASAP! Well once he arrived back home, I did. The relationship was mostly centered around sex. We often texted each other just to see how we were doing and talked about a lot of things. He labeled us friends with benefits straight away, and although I didn't like that term, I accepted it because it meant I could continue seeing him. For the time I had gotten to know him, it was apparent he had some emotional damage/ trouble communicating how he felt, he built a "wall" to protect his true feelings, and would sometimes not make eye contact when he talked to me. I wanted to help him heal, and be his supporter and most of all, friend. I think that's why I stayed in contact with him, because I wanted to be THE person that could get him out of that hole. But sometimes people don't want the help, and sometimes they take advantage of goodnatured people and use them. He just began dating this other girl. I understand I shouldn't have feelings for someone who already is in another relationship, but I simply can't get him out of my head.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You want what you cannot have and you really like to help people; this, you tried to help him and you invested a lot of time into him. Now, you want and crave for some of that affection aka return on investment

    • 4d

      Haha yes!! I agree, this is the second time I'm hearing the "you want what you cannot have" answer!! I think some time with my girlfriends is needed and I should just avoid all contact :-). Thanks for the response!

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