Girlfriend shows no effort?

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now and I have noticed the sex has gone down a lot we don’t hardly do it at all and when we do I have to ask for it and she will either say “I’m tired in the morning we can” or “if you want to” I want her to want to. Also like I put in effort for her all the time I try so hard and she tells me all the time how I’m the best boyfriend anyone could ask for I send her flowers I take her out to eat I try so do the little things for her and I even try to hint the sexual stuff like buy her some lingerie. She’s an only child and has never had to worry about how anyone else is so maybe that’s why but we had a talk tonight and I said I felt like she doesn’t put in effort to wow me or impress me and it’s very one sided and she started to cry and say how it’s her fault (she’s said this before but nothings changed) how she doesn’t care about sex and feels like she has got comfy in the relationship so she doesn’t have to try... I’m not asking her to do much I just want her to want to have sex every once in a while and just make me feel like she wants me or make me feel like she’s trying to impress me. I love her so very much and she loves me too she tells me but sometimes I just feel like she doesn’t care about my needs... am I wrong to feel like this is my fault or hers or is there something I can do to fix this? She says she has no care for sex and she knows that I like it and when we do do it she likes it too but just she doesn’t want to go out of her way and feels it is a chore to have sex. I need some help because I can’t loose this girl she means way to much to me and I don’t want this to be the reason we have a hard time. I have changed and can only change so much I’ll I’m asking is for her to try to wow me every once in a while. Maybe a sexy outfit some lingerie so dirty texts her telling me what she wants or making the first move! Not just going to bed. what can I do and what should she do? Is it me or her? Thanks
Updates:
3d
And we used to alllll the time before and now there’s nothing I can do to get a little action like I even rented is a nice hotel with a jacuzzi in the room to try to set the mood and she was on her period and I get it. I don’t mind but she does so I understand that but like maybe just a blow job? can’t remember the last time I got one and I’m not a dirty guy like I’m clean I take care of myself I do anything and everything she wants but I just get nothing in return to feel like she wants me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This sounds bad, at this point; you have nothing to lose. You can either give the same medicine back to her and have her chase you back. Some people don't realize what they have until they lose it. You can try to talk about it but the same thing will probably keep happening but who knows. Either try these or the relationship will eventually break apart. Just my opinion tho

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    • 3d

      I feel ya man thanks Iv kinda played the game when I don’t give her my attention and we don’t live with eachother so it’s hard to keep doing it when we do see eachother but yea we have talked about it and nothing changes

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What Girls & Guys Said

21
  • I think she just generally doesn’t like sex. It’s either that or she is getting bored of you. So something new or exciting and maybe she will be wanting you more! 😊 Also the way you talk about her is sooo adorable! I wish a guy talked about me like this 😂 You sound like you really love her and I hope my opinion helps you and you work things out with her😄

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    • 3d

      We have tried many new things in the bedroom but it’s like she just does it because I ask her to not because she wants to.. she will legit say that she’s just being selfish and doesn’t wanna put the effort into sex...

    • 2d

      I think what she’s really saying is that she doesn’t like sex. She is only saying that she is being selfish so she doesn’t hurt your feelings. She wants to make it look like it’s her fault and you did nothing wrong. In reality she just doesn’t like it but she knows you like it and doesn’t want to hurt you.

  • I bet you had to ask her out first

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    • 1d

      We started hanging out just as fuck buddies and than stopped for a while and then later down the road I asked her out

    • 13h

      ya I was being sarcastic because I was speaking of my resentment that guys always have to make the first move and initiate

  • I same with your girl, i've date for almost a year and i never initiated sex but whenever he want i'm ok with it until he said that he want me to initiate to do it first too,, i say i will change, we just tired to have sex but you shoud know it " man do it whenever they can but girl do it whenever they want" that diff thing

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    • 3d

      I’m not asking her to do it all the time just every once in a while we live 3 hours from eachother so we only get to be with eachother during the weekends so I’m just saying maybe a Friday or Saturday night after I bring her out to dinner and get her flowers maybe I would get something in return more than just “I’m tired night maybe in the morning” and than still nothing in the morning...

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