So my fourteen year old daughter was caught smoking weed and with a secret phone when we took her original one from her. A month after she was caught, we found her smoking weed again. We decided to pull her out of her school then transfer to an online public school. A week after her transfer, she was caught walking up the driveway after sneaking out to her "friends" house. A couple of days later, we found out she had another secret phone, but this time she ended up telling us she gave it back to her friend. A week after that, she ran away. A couple days later, we found her at her friends house. After that, we made a deal that in a couple of weeks we would unground her and give her a phone, but she ended up still having the secret phone. After a couple of months with our homeschooled, phoneless, grounded daughter, we decided to give her her phone with a 10 pm curfew, and a 7 pm curfew. Everything was well, until one night at 4 AM we heard boys screaming out our window saying that they broke in. She tried to tell us that her friend was mad at her and drove over while drunk. We banned people from sleeping over for about a month after (including our trip). Last night, we let her have a friend over again and we found them picking up a wax pen cartridge from a myserious plug at 1 am. She handed over all of the rest of her batteries and chargers, after a while. I don't know what to do with her next. She is transferring to a new school in about a week, but we will be extra strict on her due to her complications from her other school. Now that we figured out she is disobeying the rules AGAIN for the hundredth time, we've been trying to figure out a fair punishment for her. SOMEONE. HELP. ?
give her one more chance at a normal school. once that happens, it will be easier to decide whether or not her actions prove her words. if she ends up failing out and getting high again, pull her out.